Just Kidding (SWAT Generation 2.0 #1)(2)

“No, stay,” Theo suggested. “There’s enough room. Y’all have four more joining y’all, correct?”

I wanted to stay about as much as I wanted a root canal.

“Umm,” I said. “I’m just going to grab a drink. But thanks.”

Theo caught hold of my hand when I would’ve taken off, and I narrowed my eyes at the hand that I’d wished so hard would hold me once upon a time.

It was then, at that moment, that I realized my stupidity.

I’d done everything in my power to get him to notice me. But in the meantime, I’d forgotten that I was worth more than giving one man my sole, undivided attention when he didn’t want it.

I was cheapening myself.

Fooling myself. Telling myself that one day maybe he would notice me.

When I realized he hadn’t once seen me for me.

He’d seen Katy.

He’d obviously seen Shondra.

Who he hadn’t seen was Rowen.

I was invisible to him.

I prayed that he would for once see me as something other than the sister of the woman he once thought he might have a future with.

But that hope was in vain.

Because, once again, he let me down.

How did he do it this time?

By not coming to any of the events that I had invited him to, because he was ‘busy,’ but somehow made it to Shondra’s.

That was a bunch of horseshit if I’d ever heard it.

I twisted my hand so that my wrist slipped free of his hold, and his eyes narrowed.

Taking a hasty step back, I quickly skirted around Shondra and made my way to the bar.

I would’ve made my way straight the hell outside but just as I was heading out, three of my other co-workers made their way inside and headed straight for me.

“Ohhh!” Macy cried. “You’re here! I’m so happy to see you!”

Macy was the cutest little thing I’d ever seen.

She was small, curvy, and wonderful.

I loved her and she was honestly the saddest thing about leaving this old job behind.

Shondra made my life a living hell, as did Shondra’s best friend, Bridget, who just so happened to side-step me and Macy and head straight to where Shondra and Theo were.

Tillie, Macy’s roommate, waved at me.

“Hi, Rowen,” Tillie said. “Congrats on passing the Bar.”

I smiled then. The first genuine one since I’d walked into the bar and seen Theo.

“Thank you,” I said. “I’m so excited. I can’t believe I’m finally done.”

“You’re free!” Macy laughed. “Come on, let’s get you a drink. What are you having?”

I thought about what I did and didn’t want and then decided to say ‘fuck it’ and drink a margarita.

I wasn’t a big fan of alcohol, to be honest, but every once in a while, I could choke down a single margarita.

After I was done with that, I’d switch over to pineapple juice and hope that nobody noticed.

I wasn’t the best drinker in the world.

With my inability to choke down alcohol and actually enjoy it and my disgust at seeing people go too far when it came to consuming it, I just didn’t see the point.

After ordering and getting my margarita, I walked back to the booth, thankful to see that the girls had filed in, leaving me the outside.

Farthest, thankfully, from Shondra and Theo.

Theo and Shondra were talking quietly, and I tried my best to look anywhere but at them.

The only problem was they couldn’t see that my heart was slowly bleeding out right in front of them.

Trying to distract myself, I started texting my sister, Katy.

Rowen: Get this. Theo is sitting with me at a bar. Only problem is, he came with Shondra.

Katy messaged me back instantly.

Katy: What a bitch. And a dick. I hate them both.

I grinned.

Rowen: I’m drinking a margarita. That should tell you how bad it is.

Katy: You should’ve just taken the shot of tequila. It would’ve hit you harder and gotten it over with faster.

Rowen: How are the babies?

Katy: I just got shit on. Literally shit. On my leg. I disinfected it with some counter spray that kills 99 percent of germs.

Rowen: You sure know how to cheer a girl up.

Grinning because she made me happy, I took a long swig of the margarita, and only managed to grimace slightly.

“I thought you didn’t drink?”

Theo’s question had me stiffening.

And I knew that his question was aimed toward me without even turning to look at him.

Instead of answering, though, I ignored him, acting for all I was worth as if I hadn’t heard him at all.

He was all the way at the end of the table.

And there were five other chatty women now at the table with us.

It was safe to assume that I could’ve realistically not heard his question.

But then he had to go and repeat himself, louder this time.

“Rowen,” Theo barked. “I thought you didn’t drink?”

I had no other choice but to turn my head and look at him.

Gritting my teeth, I turned my head slightly to stare at him.

“What?” I asked.

“I thought you didn’t drink,” he repeated slowly as if he was talking to a small child.