Juniper Hill (The Edens #2)(40)

But it wasn’t a Montana number with the four-oh-six area code.

One hundred thirty-two.

I declined it on the second ring and stowed it away.

As I was bending to get the bottle of toilet cleaner, it rang again.

One hundred thirty-three.

I threw the bottle and rag to the floor, ripped the phone out and, once more, hit the red button. “Stop calling me.”

It was still in my hand when it rang again.

My eyes flooded. My chin quivered.

Don’t give up.

I declined it once more and picked up my supplies, then I went to the bathroom and scrubbed the toilet to a sparkling white shine. The mirror and counter gleamed after a polish.

The floor was spotless and the air smelled like bleach.

I cleaned.

And the phone rang.

Over and over and over, until finally, as I was stripping the bed, it stopped. There were days like this. Days when I’d get twenty calls in an hour. Others only one in twenty-four.

I tensed, waiting for it to buzz again, but when it didn’t, I breathed.

The stress of the day was building behind my temples, and I lifted my hands, rubbing at the ache.

“What’s wrong?” I jumped at Knox’s deep voice.

How many shocks could a heart take in one day? I felt like I was in a haunted house with a creepy clown jumping out at me after each corner.

“Nothing.” I waved it off.

“Memphis.” He strode my way, stopping close enough that the scent of his spicy soap hit my nose.

God, he smelled good. Today, there was a hint of lemon too. Maybe he’d been making lemon meringue pie. It was my favorite.

“Talk to me.”

“I’m fine,” I lied. “Just a headache.”

“Close your eyes.”

“Knox, I’m fine.”

“You’re a horrible liar.”

I huffed a dry laugh. How many times had Oliver told me the same? Though he’d been the king of lies, so compared to him, everyone was merely an apprentice.

“You ran away from me earlier.” He inched closer.

“I’ve been thinking,” I said, squaring my shoulders and raising my chin. If I didn’t have confidence, I’d have to fake it.

“I think it’s best if we stop this, whatever this is, before it goes any further.”

His eyes narrowed and those blue eyes saw straight through the fa?ade. Damn. “Why?”

“Drake.”

“Look . . .” Knox ran a hand through his hair. “About what I said yesterday. I was just being honest. But I didn’t tell you the truth so you’d push me away.”

“If we tried this and it didn’t work, you’d lose him.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I know what’s on the line, Memphis.

But I’m standing here anyway.”

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.” Another lie that made him frown. “Drake has to be my focus.”

“Did I ask you to take him out of focus?”

“Well . . . no.” I couldn’t imagine Knox asking me to forsake my child.

He raised his hands and I tensed, sure that if he kissed me again, I’d crumble. But he didn’t cup my face and lean in like he had on Halloween. He rested the heel of his palms on my cheekbones so that his fingers could rub small circles on my temples.

It was heaven.

And hell.

“I can’t do this,” I whispered, my eyes falling closed so that I didn’t cry.

“Why?”

“I don’t want to let Drake down. I can’t let him down. I’m all he has.” I had no backup plan. Failure was not an option.

And I was scared too. That was the whole truth.

I was hanging on by threads most days. I gave Drake all my extra. If Knox made me fall in love with him and then we fell apart, I would fall apart. I wasn’t sure I had the strength to mend another shattered heart.

Knox was quiet for a few moments, the circling of his talented fingers never stopping. “Yesterday, I told you about the hardest part of my life. I told you about my first-worst day.

I told you about the woman who destroyed me. I’m not asking you to tell me about Drake’s father. But I’m promising you that if you want to give me that trust, I won’t betray it.”

When I opened my eyes, his piercing gaze was waiting. He was so gorgeous it almost hurt to look at him. I wanted to tell him about Oliver. If there was anyone who would take care with my secrets, it was Knox.

But . . .

I stayed quiet.

“You want to stand on your own. I get that, honey.” His fingers shifted away from my temples to thread into my ponytail. “Standing on your own doesn’t mean you have to be alone. There’s a difference.”

“But Drake—”

“Don’t use him as an excuse because you’re scared. You wanting me doesn’t mean Drake has to suffer.”

He was so . . . right. So damn right.

Knox’s hands fell away, returning to his sides. “Figure out what you want. You know where to find me.”

And then he was gone, striding out of the room, leaving behind only his words.

What did I want? Did it even matter? I couldn’t afford dreams for myself.

And Knox . . . he was a dream.