June, Reimagined (23)
But when Josh reinjured his shoulder playing college football during the fall of her senior year, he had to move home for a semester, and everything changed. The Merriweathers had a front row seat to the disintegration of a dream. Josh’s life had been football, and he would never play again.
Watching him lie in bed and lose weight, fading into oblivion on pain killers, his anger toward his circumstance festering, had made June want to escape and forget her dreams of being the next Annie Leibovitz. All she wanted was a college far from home. She didn’t want to bear any more witness to Josh’s life. So June found the Women’s Club of Sunningdale scholarship, awarded to a girl planning to major in education and looking to attend an out-of-state school, and she applied. Until then, it hadn’t even occurred to June to major in education.
The Merriweathers had visited Stratford College in Tennessee once before, when the college was interested in recruiting Josh to their football program. Nancy had fallen in love with the southern charm and grand Greek houses. She had even bought a sweatshirt.
During her senior year, June accepted the Women’s Club of Sunningdale scholarship in front of a room full of women dressed in Talbots clothes and smelling of Charlie Red perfume. She spoke to the women about her love of children, her passion for learning and the gift of sharing that passion with others, and of course her favorite teacher, Ms. Flores. What June really had a talent for was running. Nine months later, she was safely tucked away in Tennessee.
“I can’t take your camera,” June said to Lennox.
“It’s not my camera. And either you have it or someone else does.”
June pushed it away. “I can’t.” It was too generous an offer after everything Lennox had already done for her.
“Look, I know it’s not a nice, new digital one.”
“You think I care about that?” she balked.
“Why do you have to make everything into a bloody argument?”
“I just find it interesting that you think I’m shallow.”
“I never called you shallow,” Lennox huffed.
“You didn’t have to.”
“For God’s sake, would you take the damn camera?” He shoved it into June’s hands.
“Fine!” June bit the inside of her cheek. Lennox was being kind, and here June was fighting with him. Again. “Thank you,” she said.
Lennox nodded.
June gave Max one last good scratch behind the ears. “See you later, Max.” But as she walked to the door, box in hand, her new camera dangling from her neck, the dog followed.
“Leave the lass alone,” Lennox said, pulling him back. “Sorry. He’s a needy bugger. Sometimes, I worry I’m gone too much.”
June paused. “I could take him on runs with me.”
“You’d do that?”
“Why do you sound so surprised?”
“Don’t start again, Peanut. I didn’t mean anything.” Lennox thought for a moment. “He actually might keep you out of trouble. At the very least, I’d know you’re not alone.”
He said it like he cared. Like he worried about June. Like he thought about her when she wasn’t there. A warmth spread across her chest, the sudden lighting of a match in the dark. “We have a deal?”
“You have a deal, Peanut.”
Lennox leaned against the doorjamb as June walked away. She forced her eyes forward, forced her body to move away, forced herself to forget how it felt when Lennox was close. She couldn’t let the spark between them grow. Being here was easier if she hated him. If she planted no roots in Scottish soil, then goodbye wouldn’t hurt. The plan was never to stay. Scotland was just a break from a future she was determined to get back to in America. June had had enough of painful goodbyes recently.
TEN
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Subject: Break
Dear June,
Any time you wanted to cross the street when you were little, I made you hold my hand. You want to know why? Because you always moved too soon. You were so focused on getting where you wanted to go as fast as you could. I needed to hold you back or you might get hurt.
Just please tell me you’re looking both ways in Scotland.
Mom
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Paris
I did some research. I know, you’re shocked. Me in the library? There’s a new girl at the front desk. I checked out Faulkner and asked her to coffee. She said yes. Works every fucking time.
Did you know there are more dogs in Paris than there are children? That’s a lot of fucking shit. And there’s only one stop sign in the whole city. Also, there’s a Hemingway walking tour. Don’t roll your eyes. I’m wearing a beret for you.
Confession time: I cried when Joey and Pacey broke up on Dawson’s Creek. I know. I’m such a pussy. But they’re soul mates and it was fucking sad.
OK, your turn. Tell me a deep dark secret.
—Matt
The deer heads disappeared from the Nestled Inn two weeks after June arrived. She left one morning for work and came home to empty walls, no taxidermy in sight. Circles where the wallpaper hadn’t faded marked where the animal heads had been. When asked why they had been taken down, Amelia said, “It was finally time to rid the walls of death.”