Josh and Gemma Make a Baby(18)

A thought occurs to me. “Are you, um, did you come to be a donor? You did, didn’t you? I mean, I just assumed, with that whole hug thing. But maybe you aren’t actually—”

“Gemma. Relax.” He shakes his head and looks at me with amusement.

“So, it’s a yes?”

He gives me a rueful smile.

“But…why? Why’d you change your mind?”

At first I think he’s going to tell me something profound, something serious, but then he says, “You know, I figured, you should always say yes to the opportunities the universe presents you.”

I sigh. He gave me an Ian quote. “I really wish you wouldn’t quote my boss. It’s weird.”

“What?”

I hold up my hands, “It’s one of Ian’s most famous quotes.”

Josh scowls.

“Never mind,” I say. “I just wondered why you changed your mind.”

Ugh. I could almost kick myself. What next? Am I going to try to dissuade him from helping?

Josh gestures for me to walk closer to the building, I do and we both lean against the cold stone, our shoulders touching. “Why did you really ask me? Tell me that and I’ll tell you why I changed my mind.”

I wrinkle my brow.

“Come on, Gemma. Sure, I’m smart. I’m healthy. I’m good looking.” He wags his eyebrows at me and I sniff at him. “But be honest, why’d you actually ask me? It’s not like we’re close. Usually people ask friends. We’re not friends.” He gives me a sardonic look and I assume he’s quoting my voicemail from last night.

There’s a tightness in my chest, something I don’t want to look at too closely. I brush the feeling aside and turn my head to look at Josh. The winter wisps of our breath fills the cold air between us.

“We should be friends,” I say. “We could be.”

He raises an eyebrow, like he’s challenging me to say more.

“Fine. Maybe…maybe I asked you because you’ve always been there. You’re like a fixture.”

“Really?” he drawls in a tone that’s completely unimpressed.

“I mean. Ugh. No, look. I didn’t want this to be wrapped up in emotion or drama. I don’t need a boyfriend baby daddy or another husband. That’s not the point of this. The point is bringing someone into this world that I can love with my whole heart. I thought, it sort of feels like, other than my family, you’ve always been in my life. Like, if I’m earth rotating around the solar system, then you’re the Kuiper Belt, sort of on the fringes, stuck out there with Pluto.”

Josh gives a surprised laugh. “That’s the worst compliment I’ve ever received.”




She said, “You’re like the Kuiper belt, out there with Pluto.”

I smile at him and shrug. “That’s all I’ve got. You’re already a constant in my family’s life, in my life too. If you want to be a part of the baby’s life, then you can be, easily. And if you don’t, if you just want to watch from afar, then you can do that too. But, regardless, after twenty-four years of watching you be a decent enough human being, I can say that my baby would be proud to have you as her donor dad. With the database it’s a gamble, the dad could be some psycho that burned ants with a magnifying glass as a kid, or collects vintage doll’s eyes, or I don’t know, has freezers full of feet. But I already know you and the worst thing you ever did was collect the panties of every girl you ever came across.” I shake my head at him and drawl out, “Casanova.”

Josh gives a short laugh. “Good enough, Gemma. Good enough.”

He wraps his arm around my shoulders and we walk toward the front door of the doctor’s office.

“So, now you tell me. Why’d you change your mind?”

Josh looks down at me and smirks, “I figured if I did, you’d throw some pity sex my way. Pay to play, Gemma. Pay to play.”

I gasp in outrage and send a side punch into his kidney.

He grunts and then, “Kidding. Jeez. That’s some right hook. What, did Dylan teach you that?”

“Tell me.”

We stop in front of the glass front door.

I don’t think he’s going to answer me, but then Josh says in a quiet voice, so low I have to lean in to hear him, “You’re not the only one who’s been waiting for someone to love.”

I’m stunned, but before I can respond, he starts to chuckle.

“You should see your face. I’m kidding, Gemma. I’m kidding.”

Unbelievable. Of course he’d be kidding. “Don’t you ever take anything seriously?”

He lifts his eyebrows at me and smirks, then he pulls open the door for me and holds it wide. “Come on, we don’t want to be late for our date.”

I step into the building lobby. The heat settles over me and nips at the chill in my cheeks. In a surprising gesture of solidarity, Josh takes my gloved hand and gives it a squeeze.

I smile at him in gratitude.

It’s time to get to the business of baby making.





10





Dr. Ingraham looks down at the history and physical form that Josh filled out, then back up at us. He scratches at his round, bald head and frowns.