Jade Fire Gold(16)

It’s an iron weight pressing down.

I lock my fingers to stop my hands from shaking. But slowly, the shuddering spreads and before long, my breaths turn ragged and the pounding in my chest starts again.

I am a murderer.

I am a murderer.

I am a murderer.

Should I pray for forgiveness? Am I cursed with magic I have no control over? I’ve known about my ability for a long time. But I didn’t know it was this . . . whatever it is. I’ve ignored my magic and pretended it didn’t exist. Because it scared me.

It scares me.

I shut my eyes, willing away the images of those withered bodies, the pale green glow drifting from them, the terrible choking sounds the men made as they fell dead to the ground. When I open my eyes, I see a woman with a pinched face staring at me from the other side of the prayer hall. I look away.

She’s still staring when I muster the courage to check again. She nudges an older woman next to her. Now both of them are paying attention to me. My stomach churns. It hasn’t been an hour yet, but I can’t stay here. Not with those two women and their suspicious expressions.

I force my feet to walk at a normal pace out into the streets. A whirl of faces confronts me. Stay calm. Don’t draw attention to yourself. I decide to make a round and come back; maybe the women will be gone by then and Li Guo will show up.

There’s a sudden flurry of activity as I turn into the main street. A woman carrying a wash basket retreats hastily into a side path when she sees me. Another man gives me a worried look before scuttling into his shop. He closes the doors, joining in the percussion of other shuttered windows.

Hazy fear cloaks the air, dampening the noon light like a pall, and the hairs on my arms prickle. A mother runs by with a snotty child in her arms. She spares me a frightened glance as she passes and whispers one word in warning.

My body goes taut.

Priests.

A cry rings out. “I don’t know who you’re talking about!”

Mali. What is she doing here? Why isn’t she back at the inn? I should turn and run. I should forget the desperation in that voice, forget who it belongs to.

Then, she starts to scream.

I head toward the sound. That’s when I notice smoke rising in the air, the smell of things burning. My mouth goes dry. What have the priests done? The bazaar tents are in disarray. Some scorched, a few in flames, merchandise scattered on the ground. A man and a woman in rust-orange robes stand around a figure hunched over in pain.

“Is there no one here who can tell us about the Tiensai who walks among you? The one who killed two men today—the demon that lives in this town, pretending to be one of you good people?” says one of the Diyeh priests, a stocky middle-aged man with a big beard.

What’s left of the crowd stays silent. No one steps forward. The female priest backhands Mali and drops of blood fly up in the air and splatter on the cobblestones. Mali flops flat, whimpering. The priest kicks her. Hard.

Anger builds up in me. But I stay in my spot.

The female priest circles Mali. “Good townspeople, are you going to protect one of the cursed and condemn this innocent girl? Has no one seen the Tiensai?”

“She is a girl of about sixteen,” says the bearded priest. “We are told that she wears her hair in braids and has a scar on her cheek.”

Again, the crowd keeps quiet.

Bright and deadly, fire plumes from his fingertips.

“It’s not too late,” he says to Mali, bringing the flames next to her face. She shrinks back in terror. “Go on, girl. Tell us.”

Use it. A whisper in my ear, like a shiver you get when the night is too quiet. Use your magic. You know you want to.

I swallow thickly and ignore it.

Mali chokes up. “I told you, I don’t know anything. I—I don’t know where she went.”

The priest stares down at her. “You leave me no choice. Pity.”

I sense no pity in his voice. Only a sick joy. His flames lick Mali’s arm and she shrieks.

Give yourself up. Don’t be a coward, Ahn.

I don’t move.

Best to be cautious, even if you have to be callous.

Those words ring false in my head. Too sharp. Too wrong. I can’t leave Mali to a horrific fate like the mutilated girl by the well. Can I?

Someone pushes through the crowd on the other side of the town square. Li Guo. That look on his face—

I lunge forward, shouting at the top of my lungs. “Let her go, she knows nothing! It’s me you’re looking for. I killed the two men!”

The crowd gasps, moving aside to make an opening for me. I walk right in front of the priests.

“You?” sneers the female priest, giving me a once-over. “You are the Tiensai responsible for what happened in the alleyway?”

I don’t trust myself to speak, so I nod.

Her eyes glint. “Prove it.”

I gulp and look down at my hands. They’re shivering like dead leaves in the wind. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what she wants me to do. Attack her? Does she really think she stands a chance against whatever I did to the two men?

The bearded priest scrutinizes my face. His wicked eyes land on the scar on my cheek and a sly look of satisfaction spreads over his face. “No need for that. She has confessed. We will take her.”

The priests bind my hands behind my back. Rough ropes dig into my skin. This is it. This is my end. No time for tearful farewells. No time for hasty prayers. I hear the townsfolk whispering. Some of them must know me. The orphan girl who lives in the nearby village. The girl who used to work at the inn. Will they come and watch me burn?