Jade Fire Gold(109)

Tang Wei grins slyly. “It’s the Winter Solstice today, Golden Boy.”

“I order you to address me as Your Majesty.”

She laughs. “How petty. You’re not emperor yet.”

“Annoy me some more and I’ll banish you.”

“Abusing your power already?”

“Did I tell you about the time he broke his mother’s precious vase and blamed me for it?” Leiye pipes up.

I shoot him a dirty look. “You should tell them about all the times I covered for your accidents when you were still figuring out how to use your magic.”

“It’s the Winter Solstice,” repeats Tang Wei impatiently. She looks ready to give me one of her tongue-lashings.

“So?” My days have been so occupied I have lost track of time.

Leiye raises his eyebrows meaningfully at me. Linxi shakes her head like I have done something terrible.

“What?” I snap.

Tai Shun shrugs, looking as lost as I am. No one else responds.

“What’s so special about the Winter Solstice?” I mutter to myself.

The Winter Solstice . . . What am I missing?

Oh.

The palace staff barely conceal their astonishment and amusement as I sprint wildly across the hallways and courtyards, demanding if they saw the girl with the burned hands. The girl the world once called the Life Stealer.

“It’s your birthday!” I yell when I spot Ahn from afar.

I skid to a stop when I notice her grandmother standing right there. Bowing awkwardly, I try to collect my dignity. Grandma Jia gives me a knowing smile and whispers something to Ahn who makes a face back at her.

“I was just about to leave,” Grandma Jia says to me kindly.

I bow low and she shuffles away.

Ahn and I are alone. She ignores me, staring up at the bare branches of a tree. I’m nervous for some reason. I don’t have my daggers or sabers with me, nothing to keep my hands occupied. I decide to lean against the trunk, only to yelp in surprise when my fingers touch the ice-cold bark.

I clear my throat, feeling like an utter fool. “Well . . . happy birthday. We should celebrate.”

Ahn shrugs, looking disappointed. “They haven’t bloomed yet. I guess it’s too early?”

“What?”

“The plum blossoms. I was hoping to see them. At least I got to see snow.”

She catches a falling snowflake on her tongue, tastes it, and laughs. But her laugh is different now. Less bright, less carefree. Her hands are still wrapped in bandages, and from the stiff way she’s moving, I can tell she hasn’t healed completely from her self-inflicted wound. All that will heal in time. But I know there is a different kind of pain, a different kind of scar somewhere deeper.

Our exchanges in the past month have been brief and tense. The chasm between us feels like it is growing each day, a dark void filled with things unsaid. I don’t even know if she has forgiven me for killing Zhao Yang. I’ve been too scared to ask.

She turns to me abruptly. “I’m leaving tomorrow.”

I must have misheard her. “What did you say?”

“I’m leaving the palace tomorrow,” she repeats, slower.

“Absolutely not. You’re in no condition to travel.” She glares at me and I stand straighter, trying to look important. “As your emperor, I command you to remain here.”

“You don’t even know where I’m going, and you can’t stop me, Your Majesty,” she says in a reasonable tone.

She’s right. I can’t. I won’t stop her. Her freedom is not mine to possess. I rake a hand through my hair, forgetting that I’ll ruin my royal hairdo. “Tell me then, where are you going?”

“I got a message from Li Guo. He’s in Cuihai Port. I want to see him, to thank him.”

“He can come here to see you,” I say, agitated. The sense of loss I already feel is almost too much to bear. “I’ll even let him stay in the palace. There’s plenty of room.”

“Altan.” Her voice trembles. “I’m going to take a ship to Xinzhu. My mother lived there for a while. Maybe someone will remember her. I need to know if Zhao Yang was telling the truth about her.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“No, you’re not. You have a country to run,” she scolds. “I shouldn’t have told you.”

“I’d have tracked you down even if you hadn’t told me.”

“And just how would you have done that?”

“Gold follows you. Apparently, there’s a red thread somewhere out there tying us together. A nomad seer told me so.” Ahn’s eyebrows lift in disbelief and I cringe at my own words. They sound so silly, but I can’t think of anything else to say.

Tell her, Tang Wei’s voice nags in my head. She’s leaving tomorrow, maybe forever. Just tell her. Don’t be a coward.

“There’s something you need to know before you leave,” I blurt out.

“Go on.”

Why does she look so bored? Does she not want to be here with me? A thousand chattering thoughts enter my mind. I shove them aside and inhale.

“I’m in love with you.”

“I know.”

I stagger back like I’ve been slapped. “You—you knew, and you said nothing?”