Irresponsible Puckboy (Puckboys #2)(70)

“Nothing. It’s fine. This is all fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

“What do you want me to say?” I try to keep my voice low, but it comes out tight with exhaustion. “In the last hour, we’ve gone from being about to have sex to breaking up, and now we’re announcing it to everyone. Sorry if my head is still spinning from whiplash.”

“You’re thinking about this too hard. We can’t break up when we were never actually together.”

Never … what?

I gape at him. “W-We weren’t?”

“I don’t need to remind you the marriage was fake, right?” He’s using his teasing tone, but it washes right off me.

“Maybe the marriage was, but we … we were, I dunno, together … weren’t we?” Did I get this whole thing wrong?

“But …” Tripp shakes his head like he’s confused. “You were hooking up with me because we weren’t allowed to hook up with anyone else. It wasn’t real.”

I yank my shirt from his grip. “It was real to me.”

And maybe I shouldn’t have said that, maybe I shouldn’t have proven that I’m every bit as naive as people think I am, but it’s the truth, and that’s something I can never hide from Tripp.

I head for where the others are waiting.

“Wait, Dex—”

I ignore him.

“Dex—”

“We’re ready,” I tell Graham when I reach him.

“Actually, we need a minute,” Tripp says, trying to steer me away again.

I pull my arm from his grip. “Nope, we’re good to go.”

Tripp lets out a noise of frustration, but it’s too late. The door opens, we follow Graham into the room, and Coach Roland leads us up onto the media platform.

I take the first seat, but as Tripp passes, he leans down to whisper in my ear.

“If you think this is easy for me, you’re wrong. I’ve wanted you since we first met.”

Then he straightens and takes the chair on the other side of Coach, while I’m left there, shocked into silence.

Because he fucking what?

No matter how desperately I want everything to stop for a minute so I can process the influx of information that’s being thrown at me from all sides, the press conference starts anyway.

I’m vaguely aware of Coach kicking things off by talking through the article, saying how he runs a tight team and wants to keep the drama low. He says Tripp and I deserve the opportunity to tell people what really happened.

The paper in front of me is all about how heartbroken I was over Jessica, but I don’t think I’ve ever been heartbroken until this moment. I’m supposed to say I turned to him for comfort, the wedding was to help my pain, and then we tried to make it work, which I’d at least thought was half-true, but apparently that was only from my side.

And when Coach’s hand lands on my shoulder and I realize it’s my time to talk … I can’t. The words are all there in front of me, but all I can do is stare. The brain fuzz is kicking in.

There’s a second of silence, when Tripp quickly jumps in. “The thing is, our marriage was fast. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision that needed more thought. Dex had broken up with his girlfriend, and he’d made a joke about the only relationship that has worked for him was our friendship and that he should just marry me.” Tripp glances my way. “We’ve been best friends for three years, and after this, we’ll continue to be inseparable. We’ve tried really hard to make this work, but—”

I know what’s coming, and suddenly I can’t hear it. “But this is all bullshit.” My mouth is moving before I even realize what I’ve said.

A ripple goes through the waiting press, and Coach hurries to cover my microphone. “What are you doing?”

“Please let me do this.” The brain fuzz is gone, and I’m thinking clearer than I ever have in my life.

Coach removes his hand.

I take a deep breath. “Tripp’s right. It started out as a joke. We didn’t even think the marriage would be legal. That might seem like we were making a joke out of marriage, but it wasn’t out of disrespect. It came from a place of hurt, and friendship, and it felt right.”

“Dex, I think we should—” Coach starts.

I cut him off. “I never cheated. I’ve always been scared of commitment and weddings, which is why Jessica and I broke up. It had nothing to do with Tripp. But because he’s the greatest best friend in the history of ever, he agreed to my stupid idea of having a practice marriage so I’d know commitment wasn’t so bad. Truthfully … the only reason I could go through with it was because it’s him.” I tuck my trembling hands under the table. “I’ve spent the last few months married to my best friend, and it might have happened fast, but I’ve never experienced something so real. My stress this season wasn’t about being married; it was about starting the rest of my life on a lie.” I finally force myself to look at Tripp. His face is closed off, but I make myself get the words out. “I’m dumb a lot of the time, but the best dumb decision I ever made was marrying you. Because now I know why I could spend forever with you, and only you. I know we’re supposed to stand up here and announce some bogus divorce, but I don’t want that. I want us.” My voice breaks. “Always. Forever. Because I am so fucking in love with you, I don’t know myself without you.”