Invisible(19)

    “I have no interest in being an actress,” she insisted to him, and he wouldn’t listen, to her or Lara. She was about to accept a school she didn’t want to attend, two days before NYU’s deadline, when he and Lara had a showdown. It sounded suspiciously like one of his battles with Fabienne, but Lara was fighting for Antonia’s right to attend the college she wanted. Antonia felt guilty to be the cause of dissent between them, and was filling out the acceptance form to her backup school, when Brandon walked into her room, stone-faced.

“I give up. You can go to NYU,” he said in a voice so low she almost couldn’t hear him. She turned in her desk chair to look at him as he stood in the doorway. He didn’t want to fight with Lara over this, and somehow she had gotten through to him, and was almost willing to risk their marriage for it. She had never fought so hard for anything in her life.

“Do you mean it?” Antonia stood up and stared at him, and rushed to hug him as he nodded. Lara had finally won the war when she pointed out to him how he had punished Antonia all her life for reminding him of her mother, and how unfair it was. He knew it was true, and finally conceded.

“Yes, I mean it,” he said in a gruff voice, as she hugged him. “But don’t ever tell me you’re becoming an actress. I’ll never speak to you again if you do.”

    “I won’t, Dad. I promise.” There was no chance of it, and he knew it too. She wanted to write, not be an actress. And she was nothing like her mother.



* * *



—

Lara helped her pack to move into the dorm on Washington Square. Brandon came too, to set up the room. He hung pictures, while Lara made her bed. Brandon set up the stereo and the computer and carried her bicycle up the stairs, while Antonia hung up her clothes in the tiny closet. She had a roommate from Virginia, Betty McCabe, who was going to be in the Tisch School of the Arts too, and wanted to be a playwright. She had already written two plays, which had been produced in summer stock that summer. Her parents and younger sister had come to settle her in and looked like nice people.

Lara reminded Antonia to call if she needed anything. They were a short ride uptown. Brandon stood looking stiff and awkward when it came time to leave. He hadn’t expected to care, but he was filled with emotion, to be leaving the daughter whom he hardly knew and had kept his distance from all her life. She was taking to the skies now. It was too late to undo the past, but there was hope for a better future, with Lara to assist them.

Antonia felt awkward with him too, and thanked him again for letting her go to school there, and Lara for convincing him. He had hoped for this day for so long, after the responsibility Fabienne had left him to shoulder alone, but now that it had come, he had tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat, and wished he could undo the last eighteen years, or at least the last eleven. Lara could see what he was feeling and felt sorry for him. He had shut Antonia out for years, keeping himself from her, and she had lived without warmth or protection for most of her life, but their bond to each other had been slowly getting stronger since his marriage to Lara. She was the best thing that had happened to both of them. She had humanized Brandon, after the holocaust he had been through with Fabienne. Antonia had paid a high price for it too. Both her parents had cheated her of a loving childhood.

    Her reward for it now was that her dreams were beginning to come true. This was the first step toward the career she wanted as a screenwriter.



* * *



—

She loved all her classes and professors, whom she found fascinating. She bought all her books and the materials she needed, and went to the library to start working on her first paper.

She left the library just before closing time, and saw a tall, handsome boy with dark hair coming down the steps at the same time. He looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t place him. She had seen so many new faces in the past few days. She didn’t know if they were in the same class, or she had just seen him on the street, or in a hallway.

“Hi, I’m Jake Burton,” he said as they reached the street together. She looked cautious before she answered. “We’re in the same dorm. I saw you when you moved in with all your stuff.” He smiled easily at her. “I’m in the Department of Drama. What about you?” It was the famous acting school that was part of the Tisch School of the Arts.

“I’m doing screenplays, or I want to.” She smiled at him then, still hesitant.

    “What’s your name?” He had to pry it out of her. In new and overwhelming circumstances, her old shyness had taken over.

“Antonia.”

“I’m from San Francisco,” he said confidently. It occurred to her that he would be a gorgeous actor one day. But she wasn’t interested in romance. She just wanted to get her bearings, get settled at school, and do a good job there. She got on her bicycle and rode away a minute later.

She saw him again at the grocery store nearest the campus two days later. He was wearing a dark blue V-neck sweater and black jeans, and black Converse high top sneakers. She’d been in the library since her last class, working on a screenplay. He wound up behind her in the checkout line, and chatted with her again. She couldn’t tell if he was hitting on her, or just being friendly, but he made conversation easy, and they talked for several minutes as they waited in line.