Into the Tide (Cottonwood Cove #1)(96)

I’d never felt so alone in my life.

Sure, I had friends from college here, but everyone who lived in the city was working long hours, or they’d moved to the suburbs, which wasn’t an easy trek, especially when you were working fourteen-hour days. Luckily, my apartment was close enough that I didn’t need to even use public transportation because it was a short walk to and from work.

I’d left my car in Cottonwood Cove, dropping it off with Brax again, hoping he could sell it for me. I’d asked him to give the money to Hugh so I could pay him back for helping my father.

Thoughts of Hugh had my heart aching so severely that a permanent lump had lodged in my throat. And one thing that I’d learned from being home this past summer and spending all that time with Hugh, crossing things off my list that were important to me, is that life is what you make it. And you could spend your entire time on this earth working, if that was what was important to you. And for a long time, that had been important to me. But I’d realized that I actually liked living an awful lot. I’d spent the last few months loving and laughing and living every single day. And staring at a computer screen with rows of numbers was not living to me anymore.

I’d changed.

Hugh had brought a part of me to life without even knowing it.

Being at the restaurant and working on his books was completely different than being here and feeling more like a robot than a human.

I didn’t know if Hugh felt the same way about me, but I thought he did.

But regardless of what he wanted or if there was a future for us, my life was not here.

I knocked on Mr. Schneider’s office door, and he called out for me to come in.

“Lila, this is a pleasant surprise. You can’t already have those reports done for me, can you? Although I guess being a collegiate national champion, anything is possible for you, huh?” He motioned for me to take a seat.

“I don’t have those done yet, but Julia is making real progress. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

His gaze narrowed, and he nodded. “Go ahead.”

“I’m so grateful for the opportunity that you’ve given me. From the internship to the position that you offered me here to head up this new department. But I’m not the right person for the job,” I said, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders as the words left my mouth.

“Oh, that’s just exhaustion talking. We all go through it when we first start out and put in those grueling hours. You were made for this, Lila. I don’t have any doubts that you can do it.”

I smiled because he did mean well. “I know that I can do it. The problem is that I don’t want to. You see, I found out that there is a lot more to life than I’d ever realized. And now that I’ve had a taste, it just doesn’t matter how much money I can make, or what I can accomplish professionally, because it doesn’t make me happy. And I’ve waited a really long time to be happy. So, I hope you won’t be upset with me because I truly am grateful for the confidence that you have in me. But those are shoes that I just don’t want to fill anymore.”

He stared at me for a long while before he spoke, and I held his gaze, making it clear that I was not going to waver.

“I want to be upset, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was happy for you. The rat race can be exhausting, and I’m probably not one to give advice about a happy life. I’ve been married three times and hardly have a relationship with any of my kids. So, you know what, Lila James?”

“What?” I asked.

“You follow your gut. Good for you. I think Julia would probably be thrilled to be promoted. Do you think she’s up for the task?”

“One hundred percent. She’s smart and driven, and she definitely wants it.”

He chuckled. “And what about you? What do you want?”

“I want to go home.” I shrugged. “I want to swim in the cove and have dinner with my father and get to see my niece or nephew as often as I want—and go convince the man that I love that he loves me, too.”

“Well, that sounds a whole lot more fun than looking at a computer screen all day.” He chuckled. “I am sorry that it didn’t work out, but I’m glad that you know what you want.”

He could have been angry. They’d invested in me coming on board, but I guess that was just part of the game when it came to corporate America. They’d win some, and they’d lose some, and they accounted for that financially. I thought about offering my two weeks’ notice, but I’d only been here for a week, so I certainly wouldn’t need to train anybody because I hadn’t even figured out the position yet. I’d already spoken to Julia, and I knew she was ready to step up to the challenge.

“Thank you. I appreciate you being so supportive.”

“Of course. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

We both moved to our feet, and I shook his hand. “That means the world

to me. And I definitely will. I’ll have my things out of the apartment in a few days.”

“Take your time. Though I’m guessing you’re in a hurry to get home.”

“Something like that,” I said, holding up my hand and waving at him before stepping out of his office.

When I turned down the long hallway toward the reception area, I heard my name being mentioned.