Into the Still Blue (Under the Never Sky, #3)(9)



“And you think I can bring her back? Is that it?” He couldn’t. He would never see his sister again. Nothing would change that.

“I want you to do something. Shed a damn tear, to start with! Then go after Sable. Cut his throat open. Burn him to ash. Just don’t keep hiding here under this rock.”

“There are four hundred and twelve people under this rock. I’m responsible for every one. We’re running out of food. We’re running out of options. The world outside is burning, and you think I’m hiding?”

Roar’s voice dropped to a growl. “Sable murdered her! He fired a crossbow at Liv from ten paces. He—”

“Stop!” Aria yelled. “Stop, Roar. Don’t tell him this way. Not like this.”

“He put a bolt through your sister’s heart, and then stood there and watched the life pour out of her.”

The instant Perry heard the word crossbow, his body went rigid. He’d known that Sable had killed Liv, but not how. He didn’t want to know. Images of Vale’s death would haunt him for the rest of his life. He didn’t need nightmares of his sister, pierced through the heart by a piece of wood, as well.

Roar shook his head. “I’m done.” He didn’t say it, but with you echoed in the beat of silence that followed.

He made his way out but turned to add, “Keep acting like it didn’t happen, Peregrine. Carry on with your meetings, and your tribe, and everything else, just like I knew you would.”

When he was gone, Perry gripped the chair in front of him. He lowered his gaze to the table, staring at the grain of the wood as he tried to slow his racing pulse. Roar’s temper had brought a fine, charred scent to the chamber. It felt like breathing soot.

In more than ten years of knowing each other, of spending every day together, they’d never fought. Never like this, in earnest. He’d always counted on Roar, and he’d never expected that to change. He had never imagined that with Liv gone, Roar might be lost to him too.

Perry shook his head. He was being stupid. Nothing would sever their friendship.

“I’m sorry, Perry,” Aria said softly. “He’s hurting.”

He swallowed through a tight throat. “I got that.” The words came out sharp. But Liv was his sister. The last of his family, except for Talon. Why was she worrying about Roar?

“I only meant that he isn’t acting like himself. It may seem like it, but he doesn’t want you as an enemy. He needs you more than ever.”

“He’s my best friend,” he said, lifting his gaze to her. “I know what he needs.”

Aside from Liv and Perry—and now Aria—Roar had only ever loved one other person: his grandmother. When she’d died years ago, he’d stormed around the compound for a month before settling down.

Maybe that was what Roar needed. Time.

A lot of it.

“You don’t know what it was like, Perry. What he went through in Rim, and afterward.”

Perry went still, blinking at her in disbelief. He couldn’t stand to hear that right now. “You’re right,” he said, straightening. “I wasn’t there when Liv died, but I should have been. That was our plan, remember? We were going to go together. As I recall, you and Roar left without me.”

Aria’s gray eyes widened in surprise. “I had to go. You’d have lost the Tides otherwise.”

He needed to leave now. Frustration and anger still roiled inside him. He didn’t want to take that out on her. But he couldn’t stop himself from replying.

“You made that decision on your own. Even if you were right, couldn’t you have told me? Couldn’t you have said something, instead of leaving without a word? You vanished on me, Aria.”

“Perry, I was . . . I didn’t think you . . . I guess we should talk about this.”

He hated to see the small line between her eyebrows, hated to see her hurting because of him. He should have never opened his mouth. “No,” he said. “It’s done. Forget it.”

“Obviously, you haven’t.”

He couldn’t pretend otherwise. The memory of walking into Vale’s room to find her gone still played in his mind. Whenever he left her side, a flicker of fear taunted him, whispering in his ear that she might disappear again—though he knew she wouldn’t. It was an irrational fear, as Marron had said. But when had fear ever been rational?

“It’ll be morning before long,” he said, changing the subject. They had too much else to consider to dwell on the past. “I need to get organized.”

Aria’s eyebrows drew together. “You need to get organized? So you’re going this time?”

Her temper cooled by the second. She thought he was leaving her. That he was getting back at her for leaving him by going without her tomorrow.

“I want us both to go,” he rushed to clarify. “I know you’re hurt, but if you feel well enough, I need you on this mission. You’re as much Dweller as you are Outsider—we’ll be facing both—and you’ve dealt with Hess and Sable.”

There were other reasons. She was clever and tenacious. A strong Aud. Most importantly, he didn’t want to say goodbye to her in the morning. But he didn’t say any of those things. He couldn’t bring himself to open his heart only to have her choose not to be with him once again.

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