Into the Still Blue (Under the Never Sky, #3)(19)

Her gaze darted past the trees. Over the rocky ground. Everywhere except at him.

Perry pulled his bow back over his shoulder and slipped the arrow back into his quiver. He let out his breath, his fear seeping out of him. “What’s going on?”

She shook her head. “I said nothing. Just forget it.”

“You’re not telling me the truth.”

Her eyes snapped up. “Maybe not, Perry, but what about you? You won’t talk about Liv. You won’t talk about Roar or about us. You say what happened in the past doesn’t matter, but it does to me. By not talking, you’re keeping yourself from me. How is that any worse than lying?”

He nodded, finally understanding. He could fix this. They could.

She blinked at him, shocked. “Are you . . . are you smiling?”

Her eyes began to fill, so he hurried to explain. “I’m smiling because I’m relieved, Aria. A minute ago I thought your life was in danger, but you’re safe. You’re right here, and we’re together. That feels a lot better than me worrying about you, or missing you because you’re hundreds of miles away.”

“Just because we’re together doesn’t mean everything is fine.”

He couldn’t agree with that. Being with her was all he needed. They’d work out all the rest. But he saw that it was different for her. “Then tell me how to make it right. That’s all I want to do.”

“You have to talk to me. We have to tell each other the little things, the bad things. Maybe they’ll hurt for a while, but at least they won’t become big things. If we don’t, we’re just going to keep hurting each other. And I don’t want to do that anymore.”

“All right. I swear to you, from now on I’ll talk. You’ll get tired of hearing my voice. But I think you should be the one to start.” He wasn’t the one with tears in his eyes.

“Right now?”

“Brooke and Roar aren’t back yet. We have some time.”

Aria shook her head. “I don’t know where to start. It was one thing at first, but now it feels like everything.” The wind swelled, blowing her hair into her face. She pushed it away. “We haven’t fixed anything, Perry. Reverie is gone. We had to leave all those people behind, and you had to leave your house, and I liked that house. I wanted to sleep with you in the loft and watch the Aether through the crack in the roof—how you told me you loved to do? We never had a chance to do that. We won’t ever be able to.”

She lifted her injured hand. “And there’s this. I was just figuring out how to fight; now it doesn’t work. I couldn’t buckle the belt in the Hover. I can’t even tie my hair back.” She tucked the arm to her side again. “Cinder is a prisoner. Liv is gone. Roar is . . . I don’t know . . . I don’t know how to help him. I don’t know what’s happened to the two of you—and then there’s you. I hurt you when I left, and I’m so scared that I damaged us—”

“You didn’t.”

“Then why won’t you talk about it?”

Pressure built inside his chest, quickening his pulse. It was the same trapped feeling he got inside the cave, and it reminded him of how he’d felt when he’d walked into Vale’s room and found her missing. He’d carried that pressure around until the moment she’d come back.

“I want to forget it happened. I need to, Aria. You were poisoned right in front of me. You almost died. For a while there . . . I thought you’d really left me.”

“I left for you, Perry.”

“I know. I know that now. It hurt both of us, but we got through it. And we’re not damaged because of it. We’re stronger.”

“We are?”

“Sure. Look at us. We’re surviving our first fight . . . or second.”

Aria rolled her eyes. “This isn’t a fight and neither was yesterday.”

He smiled. “Now you’re scaring me.”

She laughed. It was a sparkling sound. A burst of brightness in the quiet of the woods. For the first time since he’d seen her running toward him, he relaxed.

Aria still held her hand against her stomach. He wanted to take it and kiss each one of her fingers, but he didn’t want to chance making her feel worse about her injury.

He stepped around her.

“Perry, what are you—”

He held her shoulders, keeping her from turning. “Trust me.”

He swept her hair behind her shoulders, feeling her tense in surprise. Then he combed it back with his fingers. He loved her hair. Black as onyx, steeped in her violet scent. Heavy as a blanket in his hands.

Reaching up, he tugged off the leather strap he’d used to pull his own knots back earlier, and tied her hair at the base of her neck.

“Is that what you wanted?” he asked.

“It’s, um . . . much better.”

Bending, he kissed the smooth skin just beneath her ear. “How’s this?”

“I don’t know. . . . Try again?”

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, gathering her close. Ahead of them, the lights from inside the Hover filtered through the trees—her world, blending with his. “You really want me to talk?”

Aria leaned back, letting him take her weight. “Yes.”

“You’re going to hear a lot about my favorite subject.”