Infinity Son (Infinity Cycle #1)(53)

Losing Dad at seventeen was hard enough, but I can’t imagine losing either of my parents at thirteen like Ness did.

“What was it like when she died?”

“Confusing,” Ness says after a beat. “It was so sudden, and the Senator told me how to feel—anger, hate, disgust. He forced me to grieve in front of cameras. I was a poster boy for children who lost loved ones because of celestial violence, and I leaned into that role because it’s the only way I got support from the Senator. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not talking about hugs. Handshakes on some days and pride on others. But it was something to fill that emptiness my mother left behind.”

I tell him I’m sorry for his loss, even though it’s too many years too late.

“You too,” Ness says. “You’re lucky that your last living parent loves you so much that she protected you at all costs. Mine threw me into the fire.”

He gets up and sits in the center of the room. It feels like an invitation, and I do the same. This time I’m able to breathe in the smell of the cheap lavender soap we’ve stocked in the bathrooms, and it settles my nerves like a well-lit candle.

“What was it like losing your father?” Ness asks.

I tell him how it was confusing too, even though we had months to prepare. Sometimes Dad pretended he was healthy, but we couldn’t play along when he was coughing up blood and had fevers burning so hot we would rush him to the hospital. Going to school was brutal because we didn’t know if he would still be alive when we got home. When it was looking beyond hopeless—wills were signed, goodbyes were had—the doctors suggested it couldn’t hurt to explore clinical trials. Except it did hurt, and the blood poisoning blindsided us all—especially Brighton, who will never be fully right after finding Dad dead.

“You’re lucky you’ve got your whole immortality thing going on, firefly.”

“You think it’s luck? This infinity cycle is a curse. It hasn’t even been a month, and I can’t look in the mirror because I don’t see this savior, this chosen one, this hero that the Spell Walkers are counting on me to be. I’m not trying to fight for the rest of my life—the rest of my lives.”

“But my mother would be alive if we could all be immortal,” Ness says. “Your father too.”

“You think immortality is a solution to the world’s problems?”

“I don’t believe in the world anymore. This country is about to elect my father—the Senator—as their president, and no one with powers will be safe. It’s only a matter of time until he discovers I’m alive, and he would have me executed to protect his image. That lifelong security of yours would be welcomed. I could run forever from the Senator and Luna and live my life.”

“Running and fighting forever isn’t life,” I say.

“It’s better than death,” he says.

I don’t get where all this is coming from, but this sounds like a nightmare. “I don’t want to lose loved ones, Ness, but I also don’t trust a world where we can’t die. To be hunted or tortured forever.”

Ness’s amber eyes are fixed on me. “You’re lying if you say you would give up resurrecting if you could.”

“I’m already trying to figure out a cure. I don’t want to die, but I refuse to live forever.”

“You don’t get it, firefly. It’s too late. Luna is a chess master who has been setting up the board before any of us were born. She is patient and calculating. She could’ve given herself power years ago, but what use would that have been to her? She’s like the Senator that way—powerless herself, but one of the most powerful people out there. But now she’s dying, and the Crowned Dreamer has arrived in time for her to make her final move.”

Prime example of someone I wouldn’t ever want to live forever. “What’s wrong with her?”

“Blood illness,” he says, and my chest squeezes. “Once a host has taken in blood from one creature, it can’t take another.”

That’s great news for whatever cure we come up with to bind powers.

“Luna’s attempts to merge multiple essences have only gotten people deathly ill and weakened the power from the original creature significantly. It was pointless to her end goal.”

“Which is what?”

“Immortality,” Ness says.

“True immortality is impossible,” I say. “Even phoenixes die.”

Ness nods. “Yeah, but when Keon first died and he wasn’t reborn, Luna realized she wouldn’t have what was necessary to create immortality for herself on phoenix essence alone. She didn’t quit like many alchemists before her—she went darker.”

“Is there something about me that she thinks is the key?”

“No. She can’t drain you for your blood. It has to come pure from a creature. And Luna isn’t looking for the key. She already found it. Your old friend Orton is proof.”

“What is it? Celestial blood mixed with creature blood?”

“Orton wasn’t a celestial. He was full specter.”

“But he could phase through solid objects. No creature has that power.”

“Correct,” Ness says. He lets me sit with it, but I got nothing. “It’s the most superior blood of all, and Luna partnered with alchemists who specialize in necromancy to get it—she’s been killing ghosts.”