In a New York Minute(83)

“No, Hayes.”

“Your subway boyfriend?” She shifted against her pillows, sitting up a bit. “Franny, this is exciting.”

She was smiling, but all I could see was how pale she was.

“Mom, he’s just a friend. Please calm down. I don’t want you to do anything that’s going to make you feel worse.”

“Oh, please, Franny, I’m going to be fine,” she scolded.

An older woman with short black hair in nurse’s scrubs came into the room, pushing a large machine on a cart.

“Hi, Diane,” she said. “I’ve got to borrow you for a bit for vitals, and then you should take it easy.”

“I’ll wait outside, okay?” I said.

My mom nodded at this.

“I love you, Mom.” Every muscle in my throat caught on the words.

“I love you too, honey.”

I held in my tears until I got into the hallway. This entire day had been too much. Too much good feeling, too much doubt, too much fear. I found the family waiting room and collapsed onto a worn pink couch. Phone in hand, I opened my text messages.

One from Hayes. Downstairs if you need me, was all it said.

I opened up my text chain with Cleo and Lola. Sorry for this very late message, but I’m out in CT with my mom—she had a heart attack. She’s going to be ok I think. At hospital.

Their replies came back almost immediately, but I closed my phone and hit the DO NOT DISTURB button. I didn’t have the energy for it right now.

I took the elevator back downstairs to the lobby, but Hayes was nowhere to be found.

I looked around for a moment, and then I heard him. He was outside, on his phone.

“I’m going to need to reschedule it, Eleanor,” he was saying as I walked out the automatic doors, his voice firm. “I’m still at the hospital, and I don’t want to leave her like this.”

A pause. He paced, and I stood just outside the door, listening.

“Oh my god, no. You do not need to go.” He was agitated and loud, a sight I’d never seen before. “I’ll push everything to next week. There’s no way I’m going to make my flight now, anyway.”

He caught my eye, gave me a quick wave, and then put his head back down, listening.

“The investor meeting is just going to have to be canceled. Yeah. Yeah. I know it looks bad. I don’t give a fuck.”

He let out a sigh. He looked exhausted. He went silent again, and I started to feel sick, for real, my head throbbing. He was rearranging all his work stuff for me. This was horrible.

I stepped toward him, grabbing his arm. He moved his phone away. “Is everything okay?” he asked, a concerned look spreading over his face. “Your mom?”

“Do not cancel your work trip for me.” My voice was firmer than I’d expected. I sounded mad. I was mad.

He put the phone back up. “Hey, I’ll call you right back,” he said, and then turned all his attention to me. “Franny, what’s going on?”

“I cannot be the reason you don’t go to Seattle.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“You don’t get to decide that,” he said, mirroring me. “There’s no way I’m going to make my flight now. And I’d rather be here with you.”

“I can’t let you do that,” I said, shaking my head at him. Why was he being so stubborn? “You can’t cancel an investor meeting that affects your whole company, just because of me.”

“Franny,” he said, giving me a hard stare. “First of all, I can do whatever I damn well please.”

I opened my mouth, ready to snap at him, but he spoke before I could get a word in.

“Look…” He paused, his eyes darting across my face. “I screwed up my last relationship because of work. And”—he sighed, lifted a hand, and dug it into the back of his neck—“I really don’t want to do that again.”

“Well, then I’ll do it. Whatever this is between us, it ends now.” My voice had gotten higher, louder. I was almost yelling. “I need to be here for my mom,” I continued. “I blew her off, and I lied to her, just so I could stay in bed and sleep with you, and look what happened. I almost lost her today.”

“Us being together didn’t cause your mom to have a heart attack.” His voice was calm but cold. “You said you wanted to be with me.”

“Well, I wish I hadn’t,” I said. “I was stupid for even thinking we could be a thing. We’re nothing alike.”

He winced. My words had done something—something I didn’t quite understand, but I knew that I’d hurt him.

I threw up my hands. I was unraveling. “And I still need to figure out what the hell I’m doing with my career and my business, when I have no jobs lined up and no money coming in.”

His eyes scanned my face, trying to find a crack of clarity somewhere. “I thought your business was going well. You’ve been turning people away. You said so. In that interview—”

“I made that up.” My entire body sagged, both from exhaustion and from the relief of finally being completely honest. “They were talking about how successful you were, and I just…I don’t know, I just blurted out that I was successful too. I was too embarrassed to tell you I’d fudged all of it.”