In a New York Minute(23)

My mind flashed back to what Franny had said as we sat across from each other, coffee steaming in those stupid NYN-branded mugs: It’s about creating experiences. I wondered, just briefly, how she might shape this one. She said she was booked solid, though, so that was out of the question. Also, I’d insulted her on TV. Not just in front of half of New York City, but her mom too. There was no way she’d ever want to talk to me again, much less work together. I tried to steer my mind in another direction, but it got stuck imagining what her hair looked like right this second. If it was tucked behind an ear or falling into her eyes.

“Oh, totally,” Eleanor said, jolting me out of my thoughts. “We just don’t have much time. Especially if we’re also trying to figure out the West Coast office logistics. But I’ve already pinged Paul, since he knows every interior designer in the city.”

We needed Paul to come through. The guest list for the party included the most important people in the financial and environmental worlds, people we wanted—no, needed—to impress. If we didn’t pull this together, we’d look like amateurs, which wouldn’t be good for our business or our bottom line. Or my stress levels, for that matter.

Suddenly, a cocktail seemed very necessary. “Hey, do you and Henry want to grab a drink tonight?” I asked Eleanor.

“I’m going out to Montauk, remember?” she replied, a sympathetic look on her face. “I’m meeting Henry at the Jitney after lunch.”

Eleanor turned back to her computer, tapping her inbox open. “Are you getting together with Perrine this weekend?” The question was casual, but I knew what was up: Eleanor was searching for info.

“I think so,” I said, not looking up from my phone screen. Perrine was on call all weekend. But maybe we’d get together. So not a lie, in theory.

“Hey!” She paused to look up at me as she stood and began piling the trash on her desk. “Why not take the rest of the day off? Give yourself a little break to chill?”

“Didn’t we just establish that we have a ton of shit to do?” I leaned back in my chair, arms crossed.

“We did, but the entire city will be shutting down at one o’clock today for the long weekend. You need a full day off, but I know you won’t give yourself that, so at least take a couple hours.”

“I’ll think about it,” I said to placate her as she grabbed a bottle of Tums she’d placed on her desk earlier this week and twisted the cap off, popping two pale-pink tablets into her mouth.

“One afternoon to relax, Hayes,” she said, and I could tell she was annoyed that I was resisting.

I shrugged. “I’ve been up since five. I got all my relaxing done already.” I’d gone for my run. Showered. Scrolled through every social media app on my phone.

There was nothing left for me to do but work.

“I know, but…” She shook her head in irritation. “One afternoon! The company can survive without you for one afternoon, I swear.”

She was right. The problem was, I couldn’t survive without work. I had figured this out thanks to the four therapy sessions I’d had after Angie and I first separated. She had blamed my career, and the hours I spent devoted to it, as the reason our relationship had stalled out, dried up.

I’d never pushed back on this; I’d wanted things to work between us more than I’d wanted to be right in the situation. But she had also devoted long hours to a career she loved. Maybe it was easier for her to blame work than to tell me the hard truth, which came out later: She had fallen out of love with me and was questioning if she’d ever been in love with me at all.

And so I’d thrown myself back into work as my relationship crumbled and was left in the hands of lawyers to resolve. I quit therapy, because I was too busy at the office. I focused on building Arbor into something bigger than we’d originally imagined. Without my job, and this company, I felt purposeless and bored. Eleanor knew this about me too. That’s why she stopped pushing it.

“But look,” I said, holding my hands in front of my chest as if to say “Ta-da!” “I didn’t wear a tie today. Doesn’t that count for something?”

She laughed but didn’t otherwise respond, choosing instead to plop back down in front of her computer and take a giant sip of her seltzer.

“Hey.” I cleared my throat as I stood to toss my food wrapper in the trash. “Do you think I should contact Franny and apologize for how weird I was on New York News?”

“What is this about, exactly?” Eleanor squinted at me and pursed her mouth to the side, her telltale sign that her brain was chewing on something.

“I’ve been feeling like an asshole since I made those stupid comments on TV.” I rubbed a hand along the back of my neck. “And clearly I was, if people emailed us about it.”

I really didn’t want to rehash our awkward televised conversation again, but I also hadn’t been able to let it go.

“I’m sorry I pressured you do to it,” she said, a regretful look on her face. “But I didn’t think it was that bad.”

“Trust me, I was…” I blew out a sigh, trying to figure out the best words to describe myself. Instead, I went with: “You know…how I can be.”

“Yes, I do. Proud and stubborn and occasionally an idiot when it comes to expressing anything that even resembles emotion.” She leaned forward and gave my arm a squeeze.