Impossible to Forget(79)

‘Hey, steady,’ said Leon, raising what might have been a disapproving eyebrow, but she ignored him. She put the empty glass on the windowsill and raised her arms, a little self-consciously, to start dancing with Angie and Tiger, at exactly the moment that the track came to an end. Maggie dropped her arms awkwardly, but no one seemed to notice. Next on the playlist was Tom Jones’s shockingly bad cover of Prince’s ‘Kiss’ and Maggie threw a questioning look at Angie. Surely they would skip over this one? But it appeared not. Tonight was, it seemed, all about full-on cheese.

Maggie began to swing her hips, conscious of Tiger to her left and Leon on the sofa. She needed another drink to really do justice to the track, but she would have to wait for a respectable amount of time to pass before she refilled her glass. Angie seemed to be managing just fine without any alcohol, but then Angie had always been able to dance as if no one was watching. It was a skill that Maggie envied, Angie’s disregard for the views of others. She was, Maggie thought, more comfortable in her own skin than anyone else she had ever met. And was she perhaps the least? Well, maybe not quite, but she still wished that she could let go as completely as Angie was able to do.

Maggie decided to make a conscious effort to be in this moment at least. What did it matter what she looked like? These three middle-aged people were her oldest friends. They didn’t care how she danced, and neither should she. She kicked off her heels and began to spin on the spot, swinging her hips. It did feel good to just abandon everything. She should do it more often, she realised. She closed her eyes and let the music, now ‘Ride on Time’, pulse through her.

Then she felt hands around her waist, and she was being spun round. When she opened her eyes she was face to face with Tiger, their noses just inches apart. She felt his hands slip down the silky fabric of the jumpsuit to her bottom whilst her heart rate soared. Her first reaction was to pull away, but he held her firm as he continued to move in time to the music. There was a respectable distance between them, and he was just playing and not flirting, but Maggie yearned to close the gap so that their bodies touched all the way down.

‘Hey! Put her down or you’ll have Leon to answer to,’ Angie said, grinning cheekily as she danced past them.

Tiger didn’t let her go at once, but something about the quality of his hold changed. He looked over to Leon for confirmation.

‘Hey, is this right, Leon? Did you stake a claim to the lovely Maggie when my back was turned?’ he shouted over the noise.

Maggie didn’t look to see how Leon responded. She didn’t care. She just wanted Tiger to keep holding her and never let her go. But Leon had obviously confirmed Angie’s words and suddenly Tiger’s hands were no longer on her and he was standing palms-up in apology to Leon.

‘Sorry, mate,’ he laughed. ‘Didn’t mean to trespass.’

The euphoria of a moment ago dissipated in an instant and was replaced by a mixture of disappointment and irritation. What was she, a possession? Maggie stalked off the makeshift dance floor, picked up her wine glass and went to refill it whilst she worked out what she was feeling, what she was supposed to be feeling.

As she tipped as much of the wine into her glass as it would hold, the music in the lounge beyond changed again and Angie appeared in the doorway.

‘Okay?’ she asked gently.

Maggie took a deep breath and nodded, her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

‘I’m sorry,’ Angie said. ‘I should have warned him. I assumed . . . well, I’m sorry if I made it awkward.’

Maggie shook her head. ‘It’s fine,’ she said. ‘No harm done. It’s ridiculous, anyway; teenage crush that was never going anywhere. I’m fifty years old and I have Leon. I need to get over it and move on.’

‘Unrequited love,’ said Angie wistfully. ‘I don’t think you’re properly human if you don’t have at least one. Actually, when you think about it, there’s only Leon out of the four of us who got what he actually wanted.’

And then, before Maggie had time to quiz her on what she meant, Angie had danced back out of the kitchen. There was so much in that sentence that needed to be unpicked, but this was not the moment. Maggie took a gulp of wine, topped the glass up yet again and followed Angie back into the lounge. Tiger, not wanting to dance on his own, had plonked himself between Romany and Leon on the sofa and all three were just sitting there, like three wise monkeys, because the music was too loud to allow conversation.

‘Shall I turn it down a bit?’ Angie suggested, and then did so without waiting for a reply.

‘So, what else have I missed?’ asked Tiger, now that they could communicate without shouting. ‘How long have you two been an item?’

‘Just less than a year,’ replied Maggie. She and Leon caught each other’s eye, and his expression was a mixture of pride and adoration that immediately brought her back to reality. What was she doing mooning about Tiger when Leon was so much better for her? She responded to Leon’s obvious affections with what she hoped was an unequivocal smile. ‘It just felt right, didn’t it, Lee?’ she said. ‘Like coming home.’

It wasn’t quite the truth, but as she said it Maggie could feel something closing down in her. Enough. It was time to leave the Tiger fantasy where it belonged. In her past. She felt her shoulders relaxing immediately, the tension that she had been unaware she was holding on to seeping away, and she knew that that chapter was over. She was released.