Ignite (Cloverleigh Farms #6)(93)

Never let fear get in the way of being the kind of man you want to be.

When you look back, what will matter most?

Dad

At first I was mad and wanted to ball up the letter and burn it. His regrets weren’t my problem.

But once my temper was in check, I took a few deep breaths and read it through again. And again. And again. Eventually, the anger dissipated and I took a step back, looked a little deeper.

He wasn’t asking forgiveness, he wasn’t begging me to show up, he wasn’t placing any burden on me—he just wanted me to have one thing from him that wasn’t shitty, one piece of advice that might serve me.

And I had to admit, the advice was timely. I was letting fear get in the way of the kind of man I wanted to be.

But it was the question at the end that really stuck out to me.

I put my jacket back on and went out to the patio. It was chilly, but the cool air felt good in my lungs and on my face. I sat there until it was time to go get the girls, thinking about what he’d asked.

When I looked back, would it matter that I was strong enough to keep my heart in a vault? Would I be proud of that? Would I wear my loneliness like a badge of honor?

Or would I forever regret letting go of someone I loved and walking away from someone who made me happy, all because I wanted to prove I could?

Looking at it that way, I saw how wrong I was. How misguided. And I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life being iron-willed instead of happy.

I had no idea what the future would bring, but I loved Winnie enough to take a chance on us.

I loved her enough to believe there might actually be a happily ever after.

And in the morning, I’d tell her so.





Twenty-Eight





Winnie





Late Saturday morning, I went to the salon with my mom for a manicure, which she’d scheduled as a surprise for me.

At first, I balked at taking the time out of my day for a personal indulgence—I wanted to oversee the table setting on the patio at Cloverleigh Farms, make sure the tent was up, ensure heaters were there and working, check in with the chef, and go over my notes with her on the evening’s menu.

But my mother would hear none of it.

“Come on, it’s one hour. And you need to relax a little before your big night,” she scolded at the breakfast table. “Plus I took the morning off just to spend it with you, so you have to deal with me.”

I gave in eventually, and we headed into town around eleven. As my mom checked us in at the salon, I took a seat on a pink velvet couch and pulled out my phone to send a quick text to Ellie. Hey, my mom sprung some mother-daughter bonding time on me. Can you pick me up at 3:00 instead of 2:00?

A moment later I heard my name.

“Winnie’s here!”

I looked up in surprise and saw Hallie and Luna racing toward me. “Oh my goodness! Hi, girls!” Sticking my phone back into my bag, I rose to my feet as they barreled into me.

I laughed as they threw their arms around my waist. They were dressed casually in jeans and zip-up hoodies, but their hair was formally styled—Hallie’s usual straight locks cascaded past her shoulders in soft waves, and the front was twisted back and held in place with sprigs of baby’s breath. Luna’s curls were soft and shiny, and she wore a headband decorated with flowers.

“You two look beautiful,” I told them, admiring their tresses. “Is this for the wedding?”

“Yes. We’re flower girls,” Luna said excitedly.

“But this isn’t what we’re wearing.” Hallie gestured to their casual clothing. “Our dresses are at home.”

“Oooh, what do they look like?” I asked.

“They’re sparkly on top and swishy on the bottom,” said Luna, twirling in a circle.

I smiled. “What color?”

“The top part is gold and the bottom part is ivory.” Hallie pointed at her sister. “Hers is short and mine is longer. I wanted a long dress.”

“I bet they’re so pretty.” I touched her dark waves. “Your hair looks gorgeous.”

“What’s this?” My mother came over and smiled at the girls.

“Don’t they look pretty? It’s their mom’s wedding today.”

“That’s right!” Glancing around, my mom spotted a woman I assumed was Naomi in one of the chairs and waved. She smiled and waved back.

I smiled too, although my stomach felt funny knowing I was looking at Dex’s former wife. She was very pretty, with blond hair and fair skin, and I saw the resemblance to Luna right away.

Hallie tugged at my hand. “What are you doing here?”

Tearing my eyes from the bride, I looked down at the little girl. “Getting my nails done with my mom.”

“Where’s Piglet?” Luna asked. “Did she come with you?”

“No, Piglet doesn’t like to travel, so she’s back in Rhode Island. I have someone to watch her for me.”

“Does she like her new house now?”

I put out my hand and tilted it this way and that. “She’s still getting used to it. How’s Freddie Purrcury?”

“Good,” Hallie said. “Daddy says he’s rude but we love him.”

I laughed. “What does he do that’s rude?”