Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3)(75)

I, on the other hand, am left with no concerns at all.

I will be unapologetic. I will live with no regrets. I will reach into the earth and rip out the injustice and I will crush it in my bare hands. I want Anderson to fear me and I want him to beg for mercy and I want to say no, not for you. Never for you.

And I don’t care if that’s not nice enough.





FIFTY-THREE


I get to my feet.

Adam is standing across the room, talking to Winston and Ian. Everyone falls silent as I approach. And if Adam is thinking or feeling anything at all about me, he doesn’t show it.

“You have to tell him,” I say.

“What?” Adam startles.

“You have to tell him the truth,” I say. “And if you don’t, I will.”

All at once Adam’s eyes are a frozen ocean, cold and closed off. “Don’t push me, Juliette. Don’t say stupid things you’re going to regret.”

“You have no right to keep this from him. He has no one in this world, and he deserves to know.”

“This is none of your business,” Adam says. He’s towering over me, his fists clenched. “Stay out of it. Don’t force me to do something I don’t want to do.”

“Are you actually threatening me?” I ask. “Are you insane?”

“Maybe you’ve forgotten,” he says, “that I’m the only one in this room who can shut you off. But I haven’t. You have no power against me.”



“Of course I have power against you,” I tell him. “My touch was killing you when we were together—”

“Yeah, well, things have changed a lot since then.” He grabs my hand, yanking so hard I nearly fall forward. I try to pull away and I can’t.

He’s too strong.

“Adam, let go of me—”

“Can you feel that?” he asks, eyes a crazy, stormy shade of blue.

“What?” I ask. “Feel what?”

“Exactly,” he says. “There’s nothing there. You’re empty. No power, no fire, no superstrength. Just a girl who can’t throw a punch to save her life. And I’m perfectly fine. Unharmed.”

I swallow hard and meet his cold gaze. “So you’ve done it, then?” I ask. “You managed to control it?”

“Of course I did,” he says angrily. “And you couldn’t wait—even though I told you I could do it—you couldn’t wait even though I told you I was training so we could be together—”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” I’m staring at my hand in his, his refusal to let go. “We would’ve ended up in the same place sooner or later.”

“That’s not true—this is proof!” he says, holding up my hand. “We could’ve made it work—”

“We’re too different now. We want different things. And this?” I say, nodding at our hands. “All this managed to prove is that you are extremely good at turning me off.”



Adam’s jaw clenches.

“Now let go of my hand.”

“Hey—can we please refrain from putting on a shitshow tonight?” Kenji’s voice booms from across the room. He’s heading toward us. Pissed.

“Stay out of this,” Adam snaps at him.

“It’s called consideration. There are other people living in this room, jackass,” Kenji says once he’s close enough. He grabs Adam’s arm. “So knock it off.”

Adam breaks away angrily. “Don’t touch me.”

Kenji shoots him a sharp look. “Let go of her.”

“You know what?” Adam says, his anger taking over. “You’re so obsessed with her—jumping to her defense all the time, getting involved in our conversations all the time—you like her so much? Fine. You can have her.”

Time freezes all around us.

The stage is set:

Adam and his wild eyes, his rage and his red face.

Kenji standing next to him, annoyed, slightly confused.

And me, my hand still locked in Adam’s viselike grip, his touch so quickly and easily reducing me back to who I was when we first met.

I’m completely powerless.

But then, in one movement, everything changes:

Adam grabs Kenji’s bare hand and presses it into my empty one.

For just long enough.





[page]FIFTY-FOUR


It takes a couple of seconds for the two of us to register what’s just happened before Kenji rips his hand away, and in a moment of perfect spontaneity, uses it to punch Adam in the face.

Everyone else in the room is now up and alert. Castle runs forward immediately, and Ian and Winston—who were already standing close by—hurry to join him. Brendan rushes out of the locker room in a towel, eyes searching for the source of the commotion; Lily and Alia jump off the bikes and crowd around us.

We’re lucky it’s so late; James is already sleeping quietly in the corner.

Adam was thrown back by Kenji’s punch, but he quickly regained his footing. He’s breathing hard, dragging the back of his hand across his now-bloody lip. He does not apologize.

No sound escapes my open, horrified mouth.

“What in God’s name is wrong with you?” Kenji’s voice is soft but deathly sharp, his right fist still clenched. “Were you trying to get me killed?”