If You Could See the Sun (88)

“Alice. Oh my god.” Chanel shakes her head at me with a kind of affectionate incredulity. “We barely even did anything except flex a little. You’re the one who came up with this whole idea and wrote the article and all that. Besides,” she adds, her voice growing serious, “it’s pretty fucked-up how the school was treating you. If I’d known earlier...”

“You couldn’t have. I didn’t want you to.”

She sighs. “Well, at least now we do. Henry and I have both been worried as hell about you, you know.” She pauses and nudges Henry, who pointedly looks away. “Especially Henry. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so distracted in class before. He even answered wrong to a basic chemistry question that I knew.”

I raise my brows, a slow smile rising to my face. “Really?”

Henry makes a low, noncommittal noise with the back of his throat. Busies himself adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves.

I won’t lie, the suit really does look good on him. It doesn’t hurt that he just threatened one of the most powerful people in Airington for my sake. And when he finally meets my gaze, crow-black curls falling just over his brows, biting his lower lip, something fills the tight space between my ribs. A lovely pain, a tender ache that feels suspiciously close to longing. Not just that, but... For the first time since our Experiencing China trip ended, I allow myself to acknowledge how much I’ve missed him. God, I’ve missed him. I somehow still do, even though he’s standing right in front of me.

I must’ve zoned out of the conversation, because the next thing I know, Chanel’s grinning at me like she can tell exactly what I’m thinking, and Henry’s saying, “Do you want to go home now?” and I feel kind of dizzy. My whole body feels overheated, like a laptop that’s been left charging for way too long. Electricity courses through my veins.

Do I want to go home now?

“No. Not yet,” I say, more sharply than I mean to. Henry tenses, his expression bemused. Chanel merely winks. “Just—just come with me.”



* * *



Without another word, I grab Henry by the wrist and lead him out the building, across the empty courtyard, and into the shelter of a small pavilion well concealed by the school gardens. Pale chrysanthemums bloom from the shadows like fresh snow, almost the same shade as the pagoda’s five tall pillars.

I push Henry against the closest one, bracketing his body with my own.

This isn’t like me at all.

My heart’s beating at twice its usual rate, and I know I’m not thinking clearly, that there’s too much adrenaline and euphoria left over in my bloodstream from the meeting, but right now, I don’t care. I truly don’t care, and it’s kind of terrifying.

It’s also kind of thrilling.

“Okay,” I say, because I know Henry’s waiting for me to speak. To explain. “Okay, so here’s the thing: There’s no guarantee what decision the school board’s going to reach in the end, right? And there’s no guarantee when or where we’ll see each other again, or if I’ll even be allowed back on school grounds, so I just think... Well, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, but I guess I was in denial, or just scared...” I pause, scrambling for the right words. If the right words even exist for this strange heat inside my chest. “There’s so much out of our control, but I can control what I do now, with you, or else I’ll probably kick myself for it later. You know what I mean?”

We’re standing so close that I can feel Henry’s muscles tense as I wait for his answer, hear the subtle shift in his breathing. After what seems like an excruciatingly long pause, he replies, “I...do not have the faintest clue what you’re saying.”

I bite back a frustrated sigh and look at him. Really look at him, at the rare hints of uncertainty mixed with amusement in his elegant features, at the slight part of his lips, the scorching black of his eyes.

Dimly, I remember myself thinking not too long ago that we could never kiss. Something about stubbornness. Something about discipline. I remember thinking a month ago about how much I hated him, how I couldn’t bear to even be in the same room as him.

Now I can’t bear the few inches of distance between us.

“You know what? I’m just going to go ahead with it,” I decide out loud.

Henry freezes and stares at me as if I’m speaking another language. “With what?”

“This.”

I draw in a sharp breath. Focus on his lips.

Then, before I can lose my nerve, I seize Henry Li’s collar and kiss him.

Or rather, I sort of smash my face against his, which is exactly as smooth and romantic as it sounds. I don’t even have time to register how it feels when he jerks his head back with a muffled yelp.

I release him, mortified, and see him raising one finger to the corner of his mouth, a stunned expression on his face. Both his lips and ears are tinged red. “Alice. You just bit me.”

Well, shit.

“I—I’m so sorry,” I babble, fighting the urge to flee to the other end of the universe. Oh my god. Why did I just do that? What was I thinking? Why am I even alive right now? “I swear I wasn’t—It didn’t—”

I break off when I see Henry double over, his shoulders shaking. For one horrifying, heart-stopping moment, I’m scared I might’ve actually caused some severe tissue damage.