If This Gets Out(85)

“I’m not going back there!” Angel yells, but he isn’t looking at Jon. He isn’t looking at anyone.

Erin and the guards appear from within the thronging crowd. They weren’t consumed. They’re immune.

Erin stands beside Jon. “Angel,” she says, in the world’s most casual voice. For the cameras. For the onlookers. “We’d better head back up now, don’t you think? We have to be up so early.”

It’s a show. Just a performance. The performances never end with us. They just go on and on and—

“She needs to stop talking,” Zach says. “She’s freaking him out.”

He’s right. Angel’s looking between Erin and the crowd, like he’s considering diving in. He’s running his hands over his face and down his neck, scraping and dragging at his skin. His chest rises and falls like a drowning man gasping for air he can’t suck down.

“He’s known you the longest,” I say, squeezing Zach’s arm. “If anyone can calm him down, you can.”

He nods grimly and takes a few steps forward. “Hey, dude,” he says. “It’s fine. Honestly. But it’s way too cold out right now, so why don’t we all go out together tomorrow? I want to see Budapest, too!”

It’s a good attempt at talking him down without making it obvious to our hundreds of witnesses what the problem is. But I don’t think he’ll buy it. It needs an endorsement. He needs something substantial to grasp on to. A promise that things will be different, if only he comes back.

As I suspected, he starts shaking his head.

“Erin,” I call. “We can go out and see Budapest tomorrow, right? Maybe we can visit the castle?”

Just say yes. Just play along until we can get him home safely. He just needs to ride this out safely.

But she doesn’t. Instead: “Angel, if we go back now, we won’t need to involve Geoff. He doesn’t have to know.”

A veiled threat. Angel stiffens. Tears roll down his reddened cheeks. “No,” he says.

Then Erin takes a step.

And he flings himself backward, screaming through a raw throat. “NO!”

But backward is into the street.

I see what’s about to happen an instant before it does, my hand flying to cover my mouth. Horns blare, and rubber screeches on concrete. The car hits him with a thud, and his body goes over. He spins in the air. Thud, against the roof. Thud, against the trunk.

Then he rolls, limp and lifeless, onto the black road.

The screams rise in a swell around us.

Angel’s lying on the road, and he’s not moving.

Zach falls to his knees.

My phone starts to buzz again.

Angel’s lying on the road, and he’s not moving.

I fight against the wave of the crowd as it reaches me again, because I have to get to Zach, I have to.

The buzzing won’t stop.

Angel’s lying on the road, and he’s not moving.

I reach Zach, and get my arms around him. This close, I can differentiate his screams from the others. He’s not screaming Angel. He’s screaming “Reece.” Over and over again, to the ground, hunched over with his eyes squeezed shut so he doesn’t have to see.

Then there’s nothing to see anymore anyway. Just a wall of bodies, as the crowd closes over us to share in our grief. Everything is distant, and floating.

I think they’re suffocating me.

I think they’re drowning us.

The weight of the crowd on us is crushing. I can’t get air in. I can’t focus, I don’t know the answer, I can’t think, because—

Angel’s lying on the road, and he’s not moving.

I don’t want to stand. I just want to kneel here, holding onto Zach, keeping him steady as he screams out the name of someone he knew as a young boy. I don’t want air, and I don’t need it. I don’t mind being crushed.

Then strong hands grab me, and pull me free from the fray. It’s one of the Chase guards. Another guard strides over and stands between me and the crowd, so I can suck in air. Before I can fear for him, I spot another guard emerging from the crowd with Zach. He’s safe. Okay.

But—

Angel’s lying on the road, and he’s not moving.

I can’t cry. I want to, but I can’t. I feel nothing. I see nothing, except Angel’s motionless body, even though he’s blocked from sight by the swarm. I can’t see Erin or Jon. I call for Zach, but the guard shakes his head. “Not now,” he says.

“Is Angel okay? We need to go back.”

“Not now.”

“Let me go to Zach, then. I need to be with Zach.”

“Not now.”

The screams don’t fade as the guard steers me firmly to the refuge of the hotel.

It doesn’t matter how far away we get.

The screams don’t fade.





TWENTY





ZACH


They won’t let us see Angel.

Erin has been messaging us updates, that he’s alive and okay, so we at least know that much. Well, he’s as okay as you can be with a compound fracture, some bruised ribs, and a bunch of scrapes and a possible head injury. They’re not sure how bad it is yet.

But he’s awake, and is mostly okay. He got lucky, that’s for sure.