If Only You (Bergman Brothers, #6)(43)

I hook my finger on her roller skates’ laces, then lift them from her hands. “Come on. Let’s get you ready to race.”





15





ZIGGY





Playlist: “Meadows,” Wild Child





Sebastian’s been gone for a while. I scan Tyler’s gorgeous three-story great room, with its floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the Pacific Ocean, and frown. I still don’t see him.

“One more selfie.” Tyler’s girlfriend, Sofie, takes our photo and, with my permission, posts it to Instagram. A fellow professional athlete, she plays for New York’s women’s soccer team. We’ve spent the whole after-party talking about making this your career, about her and Tyler’s long-distance relationship, my hope for building some brand partnerships, all while tucked in a quiet corner away from the rowdier bunch at the other end of the great room. I think I just might have made a new friend.

“Ziggy.” Sebastian steps up to me, then nods Sofie’s way. “Hey, Sof.”

She smiles. “Hey, Seb.”

He rakes a hand through his hair. “We should go.”

I frown, confused. “Everything okay?”

He shrugs. “It’s late.”

I peer down at my phone. He’s not wrong. “Okay.” Turning to Sofie, I hug her goodnight and exchange numbers, then let Sebastian more or less drag me out of the room, barely letting me wave goodbye to anyone.

“I can’t drive,” I tell him as we turn the corner into the hallway. “I’m not drunk, but I did drink a cocktail just now pretty quickly, and I’m not sober, either.”

“I can drive,” he says. “I haven’t had a drink the whole night.”

“But your foot—”

“It’s fine.”

I point to the boot. “It is definitely not fine.”

“It is. I’ll take off the boot—I just had it on to protect my foot from the crowd. It’s more than fine enough to drive.”

“Then why have I been driving you around, Miss Daisy?”

He takes me by the hand and tugs me with him down the hallway. “Because Frankie would castrate me for being behind the wheel any more than strictly necessary, but more so because you seemed to like driving the Cayenne.”

“Well, you misread that one, big-time. I’m a white-knuckled driver.”

Sebastian frowns at me as we walk to his car. “That’s why you drive so slow?”

“I don’t drive slow. I drive cautiously.”

“Sorry. I…I should have asked.”

I stop at the passenger’s side, turning to face him. “I liked that you didn’t. No, you aren’t the most…communicatively thoughtful person I’ve ever met, Sebastian, but it gives me a chance to speak up for myself in ways I suck at. You don’t have to feel bad about that. I could have suggested we get where we needed some other way, but I wanted to try driving. This is all part of the plan. I’m trying to be brave.”

Sebastian stares down at the ground, brow furrowed as he pops the trunk and sits on its ledge, changing from boot to shoe. He seems distracted as he opens the passenger door for me, then shuts it after I’m settled in.

The drive is quiet as he pulls out and accelerates gradually down the road.

I’m trying to piece together a puzzle whose picture I don’t know. Is Sebastian upset? Why has he withdrawn? As he drives, I almost ask him a dozen times, but I keep reminding myself what this is—pretend friendship. I have no right, no reason, to ask him to open up to me, not when none of this is real.

And yet, when I see him making the turn to take us to my place, panic sets in. I don’t want to leave him alone like this. I don’t want to be left alone like this, either.

“I don’t want to go home,” I blurt.

He frowns at the road. “Why not?”

I stare at him, biting my lip.

Because I just did something wild and brave tonight. Because while I loved how empowered it made me feel, I think I loved the minutes with you that took me there a little bit more. Because I think you’re sad, and I don’t want to leave you alone in that.

Because I’m still reeling from what just happened, and I don’t want to be alone in that either.

I don’t say any of that. My bravery has its limits and this moment is one of them. Instead, I lean across the console, my fingertips sliding over his rings, playing with them as they shine in the streetlights overhead. “I just…need some time to process tonight. I don’t want to be by myself while I do that.”

Sebastian slows the car, as if he’s deliberating, before he speeds up and takes the turn back toward Manhattan Beach and his house. I slump in my seat, sighing with relief.

“What do you need to process?” he asks. “Did something happen with Sofie?”

I glance his way, my head swiveling against the headrest. “Nothing bad. Just…a lot. What about you, where did you disappear to?”

He sighs heavily. “A skeleton fell out of my closet. And I had to deal with it.”

“That…sounds super sinister.”

“It was. Or at least, it started out that way. I bumped into someone I’d hurt in the past. They got upset with me. We talked it through. I…apologized. They actually forgave me.” He sighs moodily. “It sucked.”