If Only You (Bergman Brothers, #6)(100)

I sigh and push away my almost empty plate, too full for another bite. Sebastian glances at my plate, chews, then swallows. “You gonna finish that?”

I smile, nudging the plate his way. “Go right ahead, ?lskade.”

He pauses, sandwich halfway to his mouth, then lowers it. “What’s that mean? Ren calls Frankie that.”

A hot blush hits my cheeks. I didn’t mean to say it, I’ve just been thinking it every time I look at him for months. It’s a wonder I hadn’t blabbed it already.

I nudge his hip with my toe and smile, a little embarrassed, a lot in love. “It means ‘beloved.’”

He looks at me in that way he has, that I’ve caught sometimes but told myself I was reading too much into, in my overactive-imaginative, romance-reader way—those thick, dark-lashed gray eyes, hot and hungry. Sebastian sets the plate down with a clatter. “Not hungry anymore.”

“You sure? You were really hungry.”

“I was.” He takes my arm and tugs me toward him. “I am.”

I crawl over his lap and settle down, setting my hands on his shoulders. He peers up at me, giving me that unruly dark hair to run my fingers through. “Ziggy.”

“Hmm?” Light kisses his Adam’s apple as it bobs in his throat. I bend and kiss it, too.

He swallows again, his hands wrapping around my waist, down over my backside. “I’m nervous.”

I pull back, then tip my head. “About what, Sebastian?”

“Making love. I’ve never done it. I’ve had a shit ton of sex. None of it sober. Never with someone I loved. I’m…kinda freaking out. But the only thing that’s not stopping me is that I’ve been dealing with an eight-month case of blue balls that might just make me lose my mind if I don’t do something about it.” He grins when I laugh, bright teeth, crinkled eyes, so pleased that he’s pleased me. “And…ya know, the whole wanting-to-make-love-to-you part. That’s a pretty big incentive to push past my fear, too.”

I brush back those dark waves, trace my finger along the scruff of his jaw, over his chin dimple. “Boop.”

He narrows his eyes at me.

“You and I,” I whisper, before I kiss his jaw, his cheekbone, the slash of a scar across his left eyebrow, “will figure it out together. I’m nervous. You’re nervous. We’ll be nervous together. We’ll touch and try and hopefully laugh a little bit, then we’ll be us, together, however that feels right. That will be beautiful. That will be…more than enough.”

His hands drift up my back. His hips shift beneath me. “I think we should do some figuring out together, then.”

I laugh softly, then lean in for one more slow, savoring kiss. “I think so, too.”

Sebastian leans in close, kissing me harder, his hands tight on my hips. I press my thighs into his waist, moving myself closer, against him. He sighs when I do that, a smile lifting his mouth. “You’re gonna rock my world, aren’t you?” he mutters.

“That’s the plan.”

“Excellent.”

I squeak as he lifts us both to standing, walking me over to the couch, across the warm wood floors that sunlight paints honey gold and glowing. Gently, he eases me down, then crawls over me, pressing his body into mine. “I liked what we did at the bookstore,” he says quietly.

I smile up at him. “Me too.”

“Then again, I’m going to like it every way with you.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because it’s you, silly.” He kisses my neck, then breathes in. “God, you smell so good, Ziggy. I need a little bottle of your scent so I can take it with me when I’m on the road.”

I smile, kissing his hair, running my hands down the hard, flexing muscles of his back. “It’s just soap and my skin.”

“Damn. Well, guess I’ll have to take you with me everywhere I go, then. Nothing to be done about it.”

He crawls back up my body and kisses me, deep and hungry, his hips moving into mine.

“Sebastian.”

“Hmm?”

“I want to be naked. I want you to be naked, too.”

He pulls away so fast I laugh, tearing off his shirt, revealing this body that I’ve seen heal and strengthen, whose every mysterious marking I’m going to learn with time and the tip of my finger traced across his skin.

I reach for his jeans’ button and pop it open, then tug down the zipper. Sebastian breathes roughly as I do, as I sit up and tug them down with his briefs. He stands just long enough for me to drag them all the way down to his ankles, then steps out of them. He pulls me up to standing and reaches for my dress, then lifts it over my head. “No underwear,” he rasps. “Or bra.”

“The devil’s fabric,” I mutter as he sinks to his knees.

Gently, he kisses up my thighs. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, Ziggy.”

I slip my hands into his hair, staring down at him as he peers up at me. “I’ve wanted you to do it, too.”

Slowly, he slips his fingers between my legs. A sigh gusts out of him, before he leans in. “Can I?”

I nod. “Yes.”

His mouth is soft, searching, his fingers teasing me, curling inside. I arch up, burying my hands in his hair as he licks me, fast and expertly, learning to back off when I pull away, when it’s too much, how to swirl and flick while his fingers work inside me.