I Wish You All the Best(93)

“Oh, Ben.” God, she’s actually crying. This is why I don’t get sentimental. “How much do I have to pay you to stay?”

Well, I’ll still be in Raleigh. “A few thousand?” I offer.

She laughs, wiping the corners of her eyes with her apron. “Deal.”

When I get home, I try to make myself busy all afternoon, but I can’t focus on any shows, or even Mariam’s newest vlog. Georgia is their next stop. I try to talk with Hannah while she gets ready, but I’m so antsy and I can’t sit still. I take my second Xanax of the day, making sure I mark it down in the journal, but it’s not really helping this weird bubbling in my stomach.

“You okay, kid?” she asks.

“Yeah, just …” I drift off without even meaning to.

“Benji?” She snaps her fingers right in my face.

“Would it be that note Nathan passed you in class today?” Thomas asks.

I stare at Thomas, who’s leaning over the countertop and typing something on his phone. “How did you—”

“Don’t ask, kid,” Hannah tells me. “I can’t get away with anything around here.”

Thomas points at me and then at his eyes. “I see everything. Teacher superpower.”

When they’ve left, I waste the rest of my time pacing back and forth in my room, staring at the time on my phone. I swear it’s going slower. I check it once at 8:15, and even though it feels like an hour’s passed, it’s only 8:17 when I check again.

I fall on my bed facedown, setting an alarm for ten till. Maybe I can just sleep away the forty minutes. But nope, not happening. I just stare at my ceiling until the alarm comes. And when it does, I feel stuck.

It’s time, but I’m still not sure what he’s doing. I double-check that the ticket is still in my pocket, right where I put it this afternoon.

When I make it to his door, I nearly just run back home and forget the whole thing. But this is obviously important to Nathan. I ring the doorbell and wait a few seconds, listening for the sound of footsteps. But there’s nothing. Not even Ryder’s barking. I knock again and wait. Still nothing.

Then my phone starts to ring, Nathan’s name flashing on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Come on inside, it’s unlocked,” he says.

“Okay.” I open the front door slowly. “Where are you?”

“You’re getting warmer.”

“Nathan.”

“Play along? I spent all week planning this. Now, where are you?”

“The hallway by the kitchen.” I think I can hear his voice. Somewhere around here.

“Okay, you’re still lukewarm at best. Like when you warm up chili in the microwave and it’s hot on the outside but cold in the middle?”

“That’s a gross metaphor.”

“A simile, my dear Watson.”

“Did I tell you I passed my English exam?”

“No, that’s great!”

“Yup. Well, I barely passed the class with a C, but I did it.”

“Oh, Benji, I knew you could do it.”

“No help from you,” I say, and I can almost hear him smiling. “You know you could save me some time and let me know where you are?” I keep moving through the kitchen, ducking into the living room. Still nothing.

“That, my dear friend, would spoil all the fun.”

“Should I go up the stairs?”

“Maybe.”

“Nathan.”

“It’ll be worth it, I promise.”

I climb the stairs slowly, almost afraid of what I’m going to find up here. The hallway is mostly dark, the only light coming from the crack in his door. And is that music? “Nathan?”

“Warmer.”

I open the door to his room slowly. It’s empty, looking the same as it usually does except his bed isn’t made. And there’s a blazer thrown over the back of his desk chair. “You aren’t here,” I say.

“Where else would I be, then?”

My eyes automatically go to the window, which is sitting wide open. “Outside?”

“Warmer.” Then he ends the call. I slip my phone back into my pocket and try to climb outside without injuring myself. Which is easier said than done. But he’s waiting for me in our usual spot with that white blanket laid out under a pile of pillows.

“You’re here.” He looks up at me, and there’s that smile.

“I’m aware,” I say. “So why aren’t you at prom?” He even looks like he was getting dressed for it but stopped halfway, with his black slacks, and white dress shirt that’s only about halfway buttoned up. I try not to think about that last point too much.

“Because you aren’t there.”

“I don’t really …”

“I tried to ask you to prom, and you turned me down, so I thought this might be a bit more up your alley.”

“Oh, I thought …” Am I really that clueless? “I didn’t know you were asking me asking me.”

“It’s okay. I like this better.”

“So, you wanted to ask me to prom?”

“Yeah, for a few weeks now, I thought it might be the perfect time.”