I Shall Be Near to You(36)

‘Captain Chalmers saw me talking to his wife and maybe he’s going to send me home.’

‘What? When?’

‘I don’t know. It could be any time!’

‘No,’ Jeremiah says. ‘When did Captain Chalmers see you talking to his wife?’

‘Earlier. After I got that letter. When you were playing cards, I went and Mrs. Chalmers was there rolling bandages …’

‘He’s known all night you were talking to his wife?’

In the dark I nod.

‘You’re fine then,’ he says, and finds my hand, squeezes it. ‘Nothing’s going to happen if it ain’t already. Captain wouldn’t sit on a thing like that if he thought anything of it.’

‘You sure?’

‘I’m sure.’ Jeremiah wraps his arms around me and holds me close, my ear against his chest. ‘You just stop thinking on it now and let us get some sleep.’ And then, like it is something easy, he don’t take but two minutes to start breathing slow and his arms slip away.

I ain’t resting and I don’t see how Jeremiah can be so sure. But there ain’t any help for the way I’m feeling except one. I grope for Jeremiah, kissing him awake.

‘You hold me.’

I say something of my good-byes to him, in case it comes to that, and he don’t complain one bit more about getting sleep.


AFTER ROLL CALL and battalion drill, Captain still ain’t sent for me. It seems I should have stopped worrying myself last night like Jeremiah said because maybe it’s true that nobody pays mind to what Mrs. Chalmers does, not even her husband. We stack our arms, fitting the bayonets together to make the rifles stand like tent poles, and settle in to rest.

‘Hey, Ross! Did you hear anything from Betsy in that letter you got? It was from home, wasn’t it?’ Jimmy leans to ask me and I am glad for a second when Captain’s aide, Josiah Price, comes running. He can’t be more than fourteen, still fresh-faced and big-eyed, breathing fit to die. Sully jumps up and blurts out, ‘You got orders for us?’

Josiah shakes his head. Finally, when he catches his breath, he looks round at us and says, ‘Private Stone? Captain Chalmers wants to see you, right away.’

My heart about drops out of my boots.

Jeremiah stands. ‘I’m coming along.’

‘It’s a private matter,’ Josiah announces, straightening up. ‘He sent me special.’

I try to smile, but inside my whole self is falling to pieces. ‘Guess I better go then.’

‘He said for you to bring your knapsack.’

‘Couldn’t last forever,’ Henry says, shaking his head like he’s sorry when he ain’t one bit.

My eyes find Jeremiah’s and we hold them together, and at least it is good he knows what might happen. ‘I’ll be back,’ I say, but Jeremiah’s shoulders slump to see me slinging my knapsack on again.

Josiah goes at such a clip I’ve almost got to jog to keep up with him, a sick feeling coming over me at being called out special. It can’t be any good, Captain’s notice falling on me. There ain’t a thing I’ve done in drill or over the past few days to warrant this except one, and then there at Captain’s tent is Mrs. Chalmers sitting at the table, her head low.

I am caught for something I ain’t even done and all that’s left is whether I am punished or sent home.


‘PRIVATE STONE,’ CAPTAIN says, starched and formal. ‘It has come to my attention that you saw fit to speak to my wife last night.’

‘Sir, I—’ I try not to look away.

‘I have not ASKED you a QUESTION!’ Captain barks. ‘My wife says you approached her. Is that TRUE?’

Captain ain’t ever going to believe me over his wife, and the lie dies right in my throat.

‘It’s the truth, Sir.’ I hold my voice steady, swallowing as he glares at me.

‘Speaking to an officer’s wife is entirely INAPPROPRIATE,’ he says.

‘Sir, I apologize—’

‘I HAVE NOT ASKED YOU A QUESTION!’ he yells again, and even Mrs. Chalmers jumps.

He pauses a moment, his eyes boring into mine before he says, ‘Mrs. Chalmers has told me of your proclivities and I see now that perhaps employment of a different sort might be better suited to your talents.’

He knows what I am. His wife has found me out, but still I say, ‘I am quite happy soldiering, Sir.’

‘To be sure, I have no intention of sacrificing any of my soldiers from their duty to our nation, when the time comes.’ He glances at Mrs. Chalmers. ‘However, until then perhaps your service could be of use in hospital duties. My wife has need of an escort and our wounded have need of attention.’

‘Sir, I ain’t got no talent for the sick and no fondness for doctors—’ I can barely think, let alone talk.

‘There is no need for false modesty,’ Captain Chalmers says. ‘My wife was quite impressed with your practical knowledge.’

My eyes fly to Mrs. Chalmers, but she don’t raise her head from the table, and I wonder what it is she has told Captain. Relief floods my body and brand-hot anger gallops right on after.

‘You will be expected to accompany Mrs. Chalmers to Judiciary Square Hospital and return this evening. I trust you will keep my wife safe.’ He surveys me and then adds, ‘I believe Mrs. Chalmers is ready to start this instant. Have you enough provisions for your own supper?’