I Know Who You Are(26)
“You’re a great actress, but you’re a terrible liar. Tell me to mind my own business if you like, but I thought you might need to talk, and I wondered if you fancied getting a quick drink in the bar. That was our final scene together after all, and I think I’m going to miss your face.”
I would love a drink right now. It isn’t as though I have anything to look forward to at home. Ben has clearly decided to punish me in the most elaborate and inventive way. I find it hard to believe he came up with something like this all by himself. Now that I know he went to the police and told them some story about me attacking him, any concern I felt has unraveled into hate, but he surely can’t plan on keeping this up forever. Faced with the facts that have stacked themselves higher than misremembered truths, and although I’m sure it’s the wrong decision, I do want a drink.
“Yes, that sounds nice, I’ll just grab my bag.”
“Great, you might want to change first, too, mon amie.”
I follow Jack’s gaze down my body and realize I’m still wearing the silk nightie that wardrobe dressed me in earlier. I can’t believe I spoke to the police looking like this. Everything is covered up, but I’m completely naked underneath. I can see the outline of my nipples through the thin pink material.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You know you can trust me, don’t you?” The kindness in his voice pierces my emotional armor and my eyes fill with tears. “Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He wraps one arm around my waist and pulls me close. I just stand there, not knowing what to do at first without a script and stage directions. He wipes my tears away, then kisses my forehead. It feels a little fake, but that’s the problem with actors, they never know when to stop. I do start to relax, though, resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes, while he strokes my hair. I breathe in the smell of him, and when he pulls me closer still, I don’t resist. I enjoy the feel of his body next to mine, picture his chest beneath his shirt, imagine taking it off. I can hear his heart beating almost as fast as my own.
“If you want to wear a sexy see-through nightie to the bar, then you go ahead, there’s really no need to cry about it, I won’t try to stop you.”
I laugh. Jack is one of those men who thinks you can heal any hurt with humor.
“Or I can help you slip out of it?”
I presume he is still joking, so I step behind the screen to change into something a little less revealing. Then I quickly wipe all the tearstained makeup from my face, while Jack plays with his phone. He’s concentrating so hard I wonder what on earth he can be doing; checking his Twitter account no doubt.
We walk along the corridor to the Club Bar at Pinewood, attracting stares from everyone we pass along the way. The bar is sometimes used as a set, but the rest of the time anyone can drink here, a good example of life imitating art and making a healthy profit. The place is busy, but the manager asks two other people to move, freeing a table for us to sit down at. It’s the sort of thing that I hate, but I’m too tired to stand so I go along with the suggestion. Besides, it’s Jack they are being asked to move for, not me. He is most definitely A-list, everyone says hello to him and smiles in his direction. It’s like walking into a bar with a tall Tom Cruise, and I’m only too happy to hide in his shadow.
“You don’t have to talk about it with me if you don’t want to, but I’m here for you if you do,” he says once we’ve chosen a bottle of wine. Everyone else has to order at the bar, but not Jack.
“Ben is still missing.”
He frowns at me. “So why are the police coming here and not out looking for him?”
“Because they think I had something to do with it.”
It feels good to say it out loud. Less terrifying somehow.
He stares at me for a little while, then tilts his head right back and laughs. His face turns red and he holds his chest as though the laughter is causing him too much pain.
“Shh, it’s not funny,” I whisper. But his reaction has made me smile for the first time in days.
“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I know you play a proper badass on-screen, but anyone who knows you in real life knows that you could never hurt anyone.”
I guess I must be a better actress than I give myself credit for.
“I’m sure it’s all just a misunderstanding, he’ll turn up tomorrow. I frequently didn’t come home without telling my wife where I was; perhaps that’s why I’m no longer married. Besides, he’s a journalist isn’t he, your chap? He’s probably pissed in a bar somewhere, isn’t that what they do?”
“Yes, maybe you’re right,” I say, knowing he’s wrong.
“Bien s?r, je suis très intelligent!”
“What’s with all the random French?”
“I’m trying to impress a certain little lady I know. Do you think I’m getting any better?” I shake my head. “Merde.”
Jack excuses himself and disappears to the men’s room, leaving me sitting alone with my thoughts and fears. It’s clear to me now that Ben has set me up, to punish me for something I didn’t even do. That’s what this is: revenge. Ben is just smarter than I am. He’s read more and seen more. He understands the world in a way I never will, but I’m a better judge of character. That’s something he always struggled with. I understand people and why they do the things they do. And I understand him. He’s trying to hurt me by damaging the career he says destroyed our marriage.