IRL: In Real Life (After Oscar, #1)(26)

Nope. Wasn’t gonna happen.

Conor: I’m sorry, something came up.





Sexy Stranger: Hopefully you, though not the coming part. Just the up part. You know the rule.





Conor: Actually that’s the problem. I’m… uh… not going to be able to perform tonight.





I cringed, despising the idea of disappointing him. I quickly added:

Conor: I’m sorry.





Sexy Stranger: What happened? Between the restaurant and hotel. Something happened, that’s why you were late texting. What was it? Are you okay?





The intensity of his concern overwhelmed me. Suddenly, I felt my throat tighten as his words struck something deep inside me. By default, I wanted to answer yes, that I was fine, but I hesitated. I was a people pleaser; I tended to be agreeable. I didn’t like to burden others with my problems. Which meant I rarely shared just how deeply my mother’s illness affected me.

But was I really going to share all of that with this stranger? He was supposed to be an anonymous hookup, nothing more.

Sexy Stranger: NotSam, answer me. Are you okay?





Except he seemed to genuinely care how I was doing. I thought about this afternoon, the banter as I was walking back to the hotel after the presentation. That had been more than sex. That had been… friendly. He’d actually asked me about myself, like he cared about more than pictures of my cock and getting me off.

Maybe he was exactly who I needed to talk to about all of this. It would be such a relief to no longer be carrying around the burden on my own. I was about to type out my response when his next text came through.

Sexy Stranger: Answer me or I’m FaceTiming you.





Panic threaded through me. I wasn’t ready for that. Once I saw his face, this whole thing would be real and that would break the magic of it.

The only reason I was able to be so bold, so open, was because this was anonymous. That made it feel somehow safe. I didn’t want to lose that.

Conor: Wait! No! I mean, I’m okay. Don’t call.





I held my breath, waiting for my phone to light up with his call. Knowing that if it did I wouldn’t be able to resist answering. Fearing that would be the end of things. There was a very, very long pause. The three dots appeared on the screen, then disappeared, then reappeared again. I felt myself growing more anxious each time.

Sexy Stranger: Ok. Then tell me what’s going on. Please, NotSam. You have me worried. I don’t like being worried.





Conor: I was getting ready to text you to start our… uh… whatever you call it… when my mother called.





Sexy Stranger: Oof. Awkward timing. But I understand—family is important. You made the right decision to take the call.





I smiled. Another kernel of information about my sexy stranger: family mattered to him. It made me like him even more. I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with anyone who wasn’t close to their family.

Not that I was imagining being in a relationship with my sexy stranger. That would be ridiculous.

Conor: Thanks for understanding.





I hesitated, still not sure how much to share.

Sexy Stranger: Somehow I think you’re not telling me everything, NotSam.





I took a deep breath and typed up a response. If my talking about this was too much for him, he could say so. But he’d asked, and I was going to take him at his word that he was genuinely interested in hearing what I had to say.

Conor: My mother’s sick. Really sick. She found out today that the drugs she’s on aren’t working anymore.





There was another long pause. I spent every millisecond second-guessing my decision to share the information with him. Wondering if I’d sent him screaming for the hills.

Sexy Stranger: Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.





Those words. That text. It almost broke me. I felt my eyes welling with tears. I’m so sorry. It was such a simple statement, and one I’d heard a million times in the course of my mother’s treatment. But never had I felt the force of it. Never had the meaning penetrated my heart.

Conor: Thank you.





My response seemed so inadequate when compared to the impact his words had had on me. But what else could I say?

Sexy Stranger: Is there more you can do? Are there other options?





Conor: Yes, but they’re experimental and expensive. Insurance won’t cover them. That’s actually why I’m in the city. I’m hoping to close a business deal that will give me enough money to pay for it. That’s what my presentation today was about.





I figured there was no reason not to tell him the truth so long as I kept any identifying details vague.

Sexy Stranger: Oh, fuck. No wonder you were so nervous. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.





Conor: Anyway, that’s why I’m not able to… er… perform tonight. I’m sorry to disappoint. Rain check?





Sexy Stranger: You’ve never once let me down, NotSam.