How to Kill Men and Get Away With It(23)

‘It’s nice to meet you, Claire. Shame it has to be like this. I’m Kitty.’

She gives me a small smile. ‘I know. I follow you on Insta. We come out in Chelsea quite a lot because you always make it look so fun. And safe.’

I look over the road again. The guy has carried on walking, but he’s slowed right down now. Almost to a loiter.

‘Same shit, different postcode,’ I say.

Her car is with us in three minutes – gotta love Uber – and I’m relieved to see a female driver.

‘Thank you,’ Claire says as she gives my arm a squeeze. And accidentally stabs me with her keys again. ‘God. Shit. Sorry.’

‘You should probably put them back in your bag now,’ I say, rubbing my arm.

She blows me a kiss as the car pulls away and becomes another set of lights in the dark. I narrow my eyes as I slip my feet back into my shoes and look again at the other side of the embankment. The guy is still there as I knew he would be. I take my Shun out of my bag and cross over to him, heart pounding, but it’s not fear. It’s more like excitement. Delicious anticipation. I slip the blade up the sleeve of my blazer.

‘Sorry about that. Looks like I ruined your evening.’

He eyeballs me. There’s no emotion in them as he looks me up and down. He’s older than I thought. Now I’m closer I can see the lines around his eyes and mouth. Laughter lines, they’re called, aren’t they? Guess there’s a lot more to laugh about when you’re white and male.

‘Dunno,’ he says, eventually. ‘You look quite fun. How do you know I wasn’t following her to make sure she got home all right? Why am I automatically the bad guy?’

‘Were you?’

‘No. She’s a fucking whore.’

‘She was terrified. Do you not care?’

He shrugs. ‘Shouldn’t be such a prick tease then.’

I frown. ‘I thought she was a whore. She can’t be both.’

‘Why don’t you fuck off back to your Samaritan call centre or wherever the fuck you came from? You know nothing about the situation.’

‘The situation is that you were following a woman and she was frightened. How can you not see that? Or rather, how can you see that and not care?’

‘You really need to get the fuck out of my face,’ he says, missing the irony as he takes a step towards me.

My reaction is animalistic. Before I even know what I’m doing, I’ve slid the Shun down my sleeve, into my hand and slashed it across his neck. It takes less than a second.

I step aside to avoid getting spatter on my clothes as his hands grab at his neck and he stumbles. It takes another split second to push him, already unsteady and woozy from alcohol, over the small wall that separates the road from the dark folds of the Thames. I watch, fascinated, as he falls backwards into the river. His face contorts as his expression passes from shock into fear, his mouth forming a perfectly round ‘o’ shape, blood still spurting from his neck.

I keep watching until he hits the water with a slap.

I wait for about three minutes until the water settles.

I let out a breath, wipe the knife clean on my thigh. And then I cross the road and head into my building, slipping the knife back up my sleeve on my way.

I give Rehan a little wave as I wait for the lift.





18


KITTY’S APARTMENT, CHELSEA

His body washes up a few days later in Woolwich. The news report is a bit more exciting this time, mainly due to the massive slash in his neck. I scroll through the articles on Apple News as I drink a revolting spinach and avocado smoothie, meant to replenish something I have plenished.

Body of half-decapitated man found in Thames

There is a large presence of emergency vehicles around the river Thames near Woolwich, Southeast London after a body – believed to be that of a male in his 30s – was spotted by a jogger early this morning.

Police and paramedics arrived at the scene but the man was confirmed dead, with locals on social media speculating his throat had been cut before his body was dumped in the river.

A spokesperson for London’s Metropolitan Police said: ’Members of the emergency services are dealing with the discovery of a dead body which was spotted by a member of the public at 6.30am.

‘As no identification has yet been made, we cannot confirm anything else at this stage. Locals are advised that the area remains safe and to go about their business as usual and to avoid discussing the matter on social media. Instead, if anyone has any information please call us on our local number.’

Police say they are treating the death as suspicious due to the nature of the man’s injuries, although no one fitting the victim’s description has been reported missing as yet.



As I gulp down the dregs of the smoothie, I wonder how long it would take before someone reported me if I went missing. It would probably be only a few hours before someone – probably The Creep – raised the alarm on Insta. I guess having an obsessed stalker has its uses at times.

I open my phone and see that Claire – the almost-victim from that night – has tagged me in a post.

‘Tired of having to watch my every step while walking the streets at night after a scary experience at the weekend. Men should have an 8pm curfew. @KittyCollins #reclaimthenight #reclaimthestreets #letwomenlive’