How Not to Drown in a Glass of Water (21)

Listen, I know Rafa is no good. I know Lulú is correct. The only way he will change is if he sleeps in the streets. But, I’m sorry, I’m not so strong to see him live like he doesn’t have family. I can’t do it.

You can stay for two weeks, I said. Not one day more.

He stayed three months.

The reason I say to you this story is because from the first day he stayed with me I could smell the sweet smell of nail polish in the salón. I mopped the floors with Pine Sol, but the smell parked itself in my sala.

I asked Lulú, ángela, and Tita to come over, to see if they could smell it.

Rafa was sleeping on the sofa still wearing his mechanic’s uniform. They couldn’t smell anything. ángela thought it was my menopausia.

She said, Some women lose their smell, but you have the opposite.

I said, Maybe it’s Rafa. Does he smell strange to you?

Tell him to take a shower, they laughed. They insisted it was all in my head. But the day Rafa moved out of my apartment, the smell disappeared. When he came for un café, the smell returned.

I told him to go to the doctor to get a chequeo. I knew he was sick before he complained his eyes were bad. Not all the time, just some of the time. Even when he ate like a pig he got flaco like a spaghetti. He was always tired, sweating when it was cold.

Then the doctor told him: he had the diabetes. The nail polish smell was the diabetes.

I didn’t make the connection immediately. I had to smell a few people. Sometimes the smell was very specific. My nose is better than those strips from the doctor. The more sugar in the blood, the more strong the smell.

Tell someone the drinking will kill them, and they go drink anyways. Sometimes Rafa’s eyes were so bad that when he was driving he only knew he had to stop because he hit something. And his foot turned different colors and the doctor told him, if he continued, he would have to cut off his toes. You think he cared?

Cut them. I rather have no legs than stop living my life, he said.

And when Miguelina refused to accept him back, la fulana who got his $229 a month for the car rented him a room in her apartment.

Women are so desperate! And what company is Rafa? He’s a man that says nothing, and with the sugar in his blood, he can’t get up his lollipop. I’m serious! That’s what Miguelina says.



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OK, OK, yes, back to the test. Yes, it’s very good! It helped me a lot. This test has me thinking that it’s true: I am a good Caretaker, I am a good Organizer, I am a Pragmatist, I am an Observer, I am good for helping old people. I never thought that I was good for managing emergency disasters. But maybe yes!

Remember the building manager that came to inspect our apartments? Well, this was a good thing for Lulú. Most of the time we pay somebody we know to fix things. But now we don’t have the money. The building only comes to check what we do wrong, not to fix the things. But we know we have rights. This we learned when we went to La Escuelita. La Profesora said, not even the police can do what they want. If they stop us, we have rights not to talk. If they come to our apartment, we have rights not to open the door.

The point is, like I told you before, Lulú had complained to management more than once and they did not answer her call. So you can imagine—drip and drip and drip. One pot full of water a day. And the water balloon on her ceiling went from the size of a limoncillo, to an orange, to a big lechosa.

When the other people that pay three times what we pay for the rent call the super, immediately the super fixes it. They see a mouse, the super tapa the holes. They have a leak in their sink, the super runs to make the leak stop. Before these other people moved in, the super always had time for us. Well, the old super had time for us. This new super is a friend of nobody.

I think the management pays him a bonus every time one of us moves out.

I tell you, we try to be patient, me more than Lulú. But we have only limited patience. Imagine how scared was Lulú when a piece of the ceiling fell on her head. She made a grito so loud, I heard it from my apartment. I called her to make sure she was OK, Then I came down with the camera. There she was, under a chorro de agua because the water balloon on the ceiling popped. Prá! What a mess. Water everywhere. Dirty water. With it came down part of the ceiling. All the wood was rotten. It was an emergency. Thank God I was there. I told her to lay down on the ground so I could take a good photo to show that the ceiling could have assassinated her.

I took many photos. I told Lulú, Stay on the floor and wait for me to come back with the super, so he can see with his own eyes. It worked. The super fixed the problem the same day.

After, the building manager came to check the job. He asked Lulú to sign papers, but I said, No. Don’t sign papers without your lawyer. Lulú made a strange face, but I know when you say lawyer, people are more careful.

So, you see, like this paper says, I could also be a good Emergency Management Director for national disasters and emergencies. Ha!

Is that a job I can do from my apartment?





INTERVIEW PREPARATION


When you arrive, make eye contact.

If they extend their hand, shake it.

They will tell you when and where to sit.

Remember, they interview many people in one day.

They will be taking notes that can help them capture why you’re right for the job.