Home Front(25)

“Okay, then,” he finally said.

Jolene felt a profound sense of relief. She didn’t realize until right now, when her breath rushed out, how nervous she’d been, sitting beside him, waiting. “So you’ll wait for me,” she said.

“How long until you leave?”

“Two weeks. That’s quicker than usual. Special circumstances.”

“And you’ll be gone for a year.”

She nodded. “I’ll get Leave in six months. I’ll be able to come home for two weeks.”

He sighed again. “We’ll tell the girls tomorrow. And my mom.”

“Yeah,” Jolene said, but it was barely above a whisper, that word; there was so much more to say, plans to be made, problems to be solved, but neither one of them said anything.

They sat on the bed in which they’d made love so many times, silent, each staring out at nothing, until it was time to turn out the lights.





Seven



The next morning, Michael and Jolene drove to Mila’s house.

He pulled into the driveway and turned off the car’s engine. For the first time all morning, he looked at her. “Are you ready to do this?”

Jolene saw the banked anger in his eyes and it made her feel empty and painfully alone. She didn’t bother to answer. Instead, she reached for the handle and opened the door and got out. As they walked to the front door, she couldn’t help noticing how far apart from her he stood.

Michael knocked on the door. In moments, the sound of footsteps came from inside. Then the door swung open and Mila stood there in a fuzzy pink bathrobe, with her black hair a tangled mess. Behind her, the room was a wash of pale green walls, windows to the water view, and rattan furniture from the fifties positioned on wide-planked pine floors. The overstuffed cushions were in muted tones of celery and rose and white. “Oh, you’re early!” she said, stepping aside to let them in to a living room strewn with toys and books and DVDs.

Lulu jumped up from her place on the cream-colored shag rug. She was wearing the kitten headband.

“Someone has embraced her invisibility,” Mila said quietly, smiling.

Jolene frowned thoughtfully and made a great show of looking around. “Hmmm … Mila, have you seen Lulu? I wonder what happened to my kitten? Has anyone seen my Lucy Louida?”

Lulu giggled.

Michael frowned. “What are you talking about? She’s right—”

Lulu whipped off the headband and grinned. “I’m here, Mommy!”

Jolene rushed forward and took Lulu in her arms. “You sure are.” Jolene buried her nose in Lulu’s velvety neck, smelling her little girl sweetness, trying to memorize it.

“Mommy,” Lulu whined, kicking to be free. “You’re smovering me.”

Jolene loosened her hold on Lulu, let her wiggle to the floor.

“Are you hungry?” Mila asked, picking up an empty DVD case, frowning, looking around for the disc.

“Actually, we have something to tell you and the girls,” Michael said tightly.

“Oh?” Mila looked up. “Is something wrong?”

Michael actually stepped aside. “This is Jolene’s show, Ma. She’s the one with the news.”

Mila frowned. “Jo?”

“Where’s Betsy?” Jolene said, unable to get much volume out of her voice. She could fly helicopters and shoot machine guns and run ten miles with a full pack on her back, but the thought of saying these few words to her children made her feel weak.

“I’ll go get her,” Lulu said and ran off, screaming, “Bet—sy! Get out here!”

Mila looked from Jolene to Michael, and back to Jolene.

Then Betsy came into the living room, trailing behind Lulu, looking sleepy, rubbing her eyes. She was wearing a huge tee shirt and white ankle socks. “Why did you wake me up?”

Jolene picked Lulu up, carried her to the sofa, and sat down. “Have a seat, Betsy. We need to talk to you guys. It’s important.”

Michael sat down on the sofa beside Jolene.

Betsy stopped suddenly. “Are you getting divorced?”

“Elizabeth Andrea,” Mila said. “Why would you say such a—”

Michael sighed. “Just sit down, Betsy.”

Betsy knelt on the ivory-colored shag rug in front of them, crossing her arms, jutting her chin out. “What?”

They were all looking at Jolene. She almost lost her nerve; she looked at Michael, who shrugged.

She was alone in this. What a surprise. With a sigh, Jolene looked at Betsy and then down at Lulu. “You remember the story I told you about when I joined the army?” she said. “I was eighteen and had no direction. My parents had just died. I was so alone. You can’t imagine how alone. Anyway, you all were a dream I had, but of course, you were in my future then.”

Betsy sighed impatiently. “Duh. Can I go back to sleep now?”

“I’m not doing this well,” Jolene said.

“Just tell them,” Michael said.

Lulu started bouncing on Jolene’s lap. “Tell us what?”

Jolene took a deep breath. “I’m going to Iraq to help—”

“What?” Betsy said, clambering to her feet.

“Huh?” Lulu said.