Hollywood Heir (Westerly Billionaire #4)(55)

One push from Delinda and I’m right back to being who I’ve always been. Sage dodged a bullet. She deserves so much better.

All I had to do was be honest with her—believe in her.

He looked at his superhero suit hanging in its case. It mocked the strength he didn’t have in reality. His gaze drifted to the Wayne Easton wardrobe. Normal. Damaged, but recovering. Socially proactive Wayne. Also, sadly a caricature of someone I’ll never be.

He met his eyes in the mirror. Who the fuck do I think I’m fooling? I’m a self-absorbed, entitled narcissist. That’s who I am—who I’ve always been—who I’ll always be. People don’t change.

“I figured you’d be here,” Reggie said as he entered the area.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Reggie. Go away.”

“I knew you’d say that, so I’ve brought reinforcements.”

Eric glanced over his shoulder and saw Reggie’s wife by his side. Tall, blonde, with classically beautiful features—she could easily have been a model or actress had she chosen either role. Instead, she’d chosen what she said was a more entertaining life with Reggie. “Hi, Alice. Don’t mind me, I’m in a shitty mood.”

“So, what happened?” Alice asked as bluntly as Reggie would have. They did indeed belong together.

“I fucked up,” Eric said. “I know—that’s nothing new.”

She went to stand on one side of him, Reggie on the other. She said, “Do you know what I hear in my head when I look at myself in the mirror? I hear every child who ever made fun of me when I was an overweight kid, every boy who laughed at me when they heard I liked them, every snicker from the mean girls. Those voices don’t go away. And there was a time in my life when they almost won. I starved myself down to ninety pounds. It didn’t matter what the scale said. I thought I was still too big. I was in and out of the hospital, frustrating my counselors. I’d lost my job because of so many absences, had stopped paying my rent, and was getting ready to just give up.”

“I’m so sorry you went through that,” Eric said sincerely. This side of Alice wasn’t something they’d ever spoken of before. Because before now it’s always fucking been about me.

Alice smiled across at Reggie. “It was a lifetime ago. I met Reggie while he was doing electrical work in my apartment building, and he became my guardian angel. He checked in on me, nagged me to eat, dragged me out on crazy expeditions that took my mind off what I was going through.”

Reggie’s expression turned tender. “It was nothing.”

Alice shook her head. “It was everything to me. You didn’t judge me, and I needed that.” She met Eric’s eyes again. “Eventually I told him what I heard when I looked at myself. And do you know what he said?”

“No,” Eric said, “but I want to.”

“He told me his head was full of horrible things people had said to him, too, but that the trick was to not let those voices rule you. Denying them doesn’t rid you of them. Facing them doesn’t silence them. You have to embrace them as part of your journey, see them as something that you use to make yourself stronger. I still sometimes hate what I see in the mirror, but then I try to look at myself through kinder, stronger eyes. I strive to be healthy rather than perfect. When that doesn’t work, I talk about it just to get it out of my head, and that helps.”

Eric’s eyes misted, and he looked away, his hands fisting at his sides. “I don’t know who I am anymore. I thought I could put everything behind and become someone new but . . . now . . .” He waved at the three areas. “Which one am I?” he demanded of Reggie.

Reggie shared a look with Alice. “They’re all you, Eric. You’re an angry rich bastard, a natural entertainer, and a good guy at your core.”

Alice added, “Maybe it’s not about becoming someone new, but about embracing who you are. Yeah, you’re angry, but you don’t have to let your past win. Sure, everyone thinks of you in that ridiculous spandex suit when they see you, but that doesn’t have to define you. Wayne Easton isn’t someone you created; he’s always been in you—in your generosity with everyone around you. Remember when you didn’t want to do another movie as Water Bear Man, but went ahead and filmed another one anyway because you knew it would change the lives of everyone else involved? You employ more people to run this estate than some businesses have on their payrolls, and I’ve never seen you fire anyone—not even when Reggie suggested it. You’re the first one to suggest a person deserves a second chance. That’s the Wayne in you.”

“She’s good, isn’t she?” Reggie asked proudly.

“Fucking incredible.” Eric wiped a hand down his face. “Alice, I really screwed up with Sage. She was nothing but good to me, and I was horrible to her. I was angry and, if I’m honest, scared. She said she never wants to see me again, and I can’t blame her. Even if I ask her for another chance, what kind of husband would I be? What kind of father? I’m a mess.”

Alice went over to slip under Reggie’s arm and hug him. “We’re all a mess. Reggie doesn’t talk much about his childhood, but he told me about it, and let me tell you, he’s every bit as scarred as the rest of us.”

“Hey,” Reggie said in playful protest.