Hockey With Benefits(16)

He was quiet for a little. “Maybe you should delete your accounts? To be safe?”

I couldn’t talk, my throat was swelling up.

At this point, it was a trigger response. My body was already shutting down, and I felt cold sweats run down my back. My stomach would start churning as soon as it processed that my mom was out of the hospital. She could totally get a car and head up here.

Then what?

What would I do then? Hide? I was already hiding.

“Oh, God. Dad.” I broke, my voice hitching.

“I’m so sorry, Mara. Do you want me to drive up? I can get a hotel room. We can just…hang out?”

I was almost laughing at that because though he and I were teammates in this ‘team’ against my mom, he and I didn’t have that relationship. “No, that’s okay. I should go.”

“You sure?”

I paused, knowing that a panic attack was inevitable, but I’d never heard this tone from my dad. Almost…hopeful? Was I getting that wrong?

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“Oh, sweetie, you don’t have to worry about me.”

That was a rule he always maintained with me. With him, I was not to take care of him. I’d never told him, but I appreciated that line. I was still the ‘kid’ in some ways, but I was in college. There needed to be some give in that dynamic.

I sighed. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“If you meet a woman you’re attracted to, ask her on a date.” He started making noises, but I said over him, “I mean it. You should find some happy when you can. Thanks for letting me know about Mom. I love you.”

He paused, a stark silence from his end before he said quietly, “Love you, Mara.”

I hung up, but I couldn’t leave. The hallway was empty and for a moment, I needed to stand still. Be still. Not think. Not feel. I leaned fully back against the wall and slowly slid down until I hit the floor, then stretched my legs out.

I don’t know why I texted Cruz, but I did.

Me: Hope you were able to sleep on the bus.

It buzzed back a second later,

Cruz: Are we breaking your rule right now?

Me: I feel bad if I’m the reason we lose tonight.

Cruz: I wouldn’t let that happen, but I got some good sleep on the bus. All good to go.

I didn’t want to wish him good luck. Some hockey guys had serious superstitions, and I didn’t know if Cruz was one of them. He didn’t seem like it, but I made a note to ask him later.

My phone buzzed again.

Gavin: Party! WHERE ARE YOU?!

I sent Miles a text.

Me: Alpha Mu?

Miles: Already there. Got a drink waiting for you.

Hell yes. I needed that drink.





9





CRUZ





My phone was buzzing when we went back into the locker room after the warm-up skate. Coach didn’t want us to check our phones, especially not when we were about to head back out for the game, so I opened my bag to silence it. It was my mom, and she never called this close to a game.

I answered, “Mom?”

“Styles!” Coach barked.

I looked his way, and seeing my face, he quieted.

I asked, “What’s wrong?”

Everyone else quieted, hearing me.

She started crying.

“Mom?”

I turned away, taking the call to the back of the locker room. The guys could hear, but I didn’t want to risk going to the hallway. There’d be too much sound out there.

“Titi had a bad reaction today.”

Oh, God. “What happened?” My voice dropped. “Is she okay now?”

“She’s–we’re in the hospital. I had to bring her in. She had three seizures in the ambulance.”

Jesus.

Some of her crying lessened, but it was still there. Her voice was still broken, and I couldn’t do anything to help her. Maybe I should’ve skipped college? Gone straight to the NHL? This was high school for me. Hockey and helping my mom. Titi needed to be carried so much of the time. It was easier if I did it, but when my mom insisted I go to college, they’d made adjustments. They got onto a better insurance plan, one that helped with more machines in the house, and more staff around the clock. It let my mom get a little bit of a break, but this, this was breaking my heart.

“Did they find out what caused the seizures?”

“A new medication.” I could hear the background beeping that only a medical facility had. The nonstop beep of call lights. She must’ve been near a nurse’s desk. “She’ll be in the hospital until they get it out of her system, and then we have to introduce a new med. It’ll take time, but she’s stopped seizing. Cruz,” her voice dropped again. “It was so scary.”

I folded my head down. “I’m so sorry, Mom. But she’s getting better. She’ll be better.”

“I know. I–I shouldn’t have called you. Oh my God! You’re supposed to be playing right now. I’m interrupting–why did you answer? I could’ve left a message.”

“Mom.”

“Cruz, honey. You have to go. I’m horrified. Your coach–”