Hitched(52)

They’re my new family.

Family has always been a four-letter word to me, but the O’Dells—well, there’s a reason I agreed to officiate Jace and Olivia’s wedding.

I believe the two of them can make it. They’re the kind of people who seem to instinctively know how to do love right.

But maybe we all possess that instinct, deep down. Maybe it’s just a matter of being brave enough to trust your heart and let it lead the way.

Minnie O’Dell isn’t my mother. She wouldn’t have left another message today demanding answers.

She hasn’t.

She’s just accepted me.

The way I always wanted my own mother to accept me.

Blake knows how to do this right.

And with help, I know I can get there too.

“All right, civilian, show me what you’ve got,” Clint says.

We both lay our cards on the table, and I groan. “Cheater!” I say.

Chewpaca hums in agreement behind me.

“You always get a royal flush,” Ryan says, shaking his head. “How the hell do you do that?”

“Karma.” Clint pulls the winnings his way, gently lifting the sleeping teen raccoon off the table and setting her on the porch before he jabs his fork into the cake and takes a giant bite. “Mmmmm, so gooooood.” He sighs. “But is it really better than sex? I can’t remember.”

“Aw, Clint, are you having trouble getting laid?” Jace taunts.

“Hush your mouth,” Clint slurs. “That’s my private penis business.”

“PPB, huh?” Ryan chuckles. “You’re wasted, aren’t you?”

“He had nearly a bottle of Jack. Of course he’s wasted,” Blake, who hasn’t had a drop to drink in hours, points out.

“I’ve seen him do a full bottle and not show it,” Jace replies.

“That wasn’t jetlagged and after all day alpaca guard duty.” Blake rises and holds a hand out to me. “Great bachelor party, family, but we’re out of here.”

“Aww, I’m so happy for you two,” Cassie sighs.

She’s also not drinking tonight, which no one has mentioned.

And good for her if that’s a subtle clue. But though I’m warming up to the idea of being part of Blake’s family, I’m not warming up to the idea of having babies anytime soon.

I need to get more comfortable with me, and then with me and Blake, first.

We lead Chewpaca back around front to my trailer, me giggling as Blake swears that Clint probably cheats, but nobody’s man enough to call him on it, since he can kick all their asses at the same time with one arm tied behind his back.

He’s joking, I’m sure.

Mostly.

“But I’m glad you can appreciate the insanity,” he says when we’re on the road.

Insanity. God, if he only knew.

“My family isn’t like yours,” I hear myself blurt out. If Blake and I are going to make a real go of this, he should know what he’s getting into. “They’re…hard.”

He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “All families can be hard sometimes.”

I shake my head. “Not like mine.” I take a deep breath. “There won’t be any nights like this. There won’t be…much of anything. Not anything pleasant at any rate.”

“That’s okay,” he says, threading his fingers through mine.

“Yeah?” My lips curve in a weak smile. “You sure? I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted no part of the dysfunction. I’d gladly swap families with you if I could.”

“You can have mine.”

“Because you don’t want them?” I laugh.

“No, because we’ll share them. Together.”

“Oh.”

I fall silent, realizing that the radio display isn’t flickering, and neither are the headlights or dash lights in Blake’s shiny new truck. Only the hula man is wiggling.

It’s been a long time since I’ve gone a whole day without short-circuiting something.

It’s been a long time since I felt this…light.

But I want to be even lighter. I want Blake to know it all.

“That’s part of the problem, I think,” I whisper to the moon out the window. “I’ve never seen a healthy love relationship up close. My parents are miserable together.”

Blake rubs his thumb over the back of my hand. “Sometimes knowing what not to do is its own superpower.”

I let out a shaky breath. “But there are so many different ways to screw up. So many ways to let another person down.”

“That’s where forgiveness comes in. We’re both gonna screw up. We’re human. It’s what we do. But I’d rather screw up and make up and keep fighting to make love work with you than have it easy with anyone else.”

I look back at him, the backs of my eyes beginning to burn.

So many times now, he’s said he loves me, and I believe him.

I do.

And I love him too. I’ve loved him for a long time.

I just need to find it in me to fully commit to this leap, to dive into the love lagoon and pray I miss the rocks. Because Blake deserves that kind of love, the fearless, cliff-diving kind, and I’m so tired of being afraid.