Hissy Fit (The Southern Gentleman #1)(14)

Everyone started to tear off strips of paper, and I knew this could get out of hand.

Then again, it always did.

The senior class were technically adults, but a lot of them were just as immature now as they were when they were freshmen.

“All right, first question,” I said, gesturing for Raleigh to pick.

Raleigh pulled out her chair, took a seat, and took a deep breath. Then she pulled out a strip of paper folded so many times that it was hard to see and unfolded it.

Her face flushed a bright red the moment that she read it.

“What is the largest thing a woman can fit inside of her?” Raleigh read, choking slightly on the first few words.

I blinked, then shrugged. “A baby.”

A couple of the students at the back started to snicker.

“Next question.” I grinned at Raleigh.

Raleigh reached for another.

And again, she choked.

“Is it better to have anal or vaginal sex?” she read, sounding extra squeaky.

I bit my lip to keep from bursting out laughing—not because of the question itself, but what that question did to Raleigh’s face.

I turned to the class at large. “I’m going to be completely, one hundred percent honest with you. If you have a willing partner that trusts you, both sexual acts can be very satisfying. It’s up to you to decide which one—if either—you like best. Next?”

Raleigh squeaked so cutely that I wanted nothing more than to expound on my answer just to hear what she’d say—or do—next.

Wrong time, wrong place.

A couple of the girls in the class giggled, as a couple of the male students grunted.

I rolled my eyes.

The entire damn class was filled with my football team, with more than half of them being on the baseball team. This was nothing I hadn’t already heard, in one form or another, from them before.

I was always quite open with my students—and had been—since I’d started teaching this class and realized the importance of it.

“How many calories are there in semen?”

I had no idea.

That was a new question, even for me.

“Uhhh,” I hesitated. “I don’t know.”

“Hey, Google.”

I spun around and faced Raleigh, who had a Google device on her desk. “How many calories are in semen?”

The girl was all around surprising.

Then the damn thing answered her.

In a robotic feminine voice, it said, “Each teaspoon of ejaculate has about five to seven calories.”

Everyone, even Raleigh and I, laughed.

“Maybe we should just read these to your Google, Mizz Crusie,” came Johnson’s response.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, we could do that, but then it’s possible you wouldn’t get honest answers. And I want you to have nothing but the truth.”

“So help you God?” Raleigh whispered, almost to herself.

I snorted and bumped her with my hip, then moved to her desk and propped half of my ass right next to her.

“Next?”

“If you have sex underwater, will the baby be a mermaid?” Raleigh tried valiantly not to laugh, then answered that one herself. “No, mermaids aren’t real. However, sex underwater is still unprotected sex. It can, in fact, result in a baby. It just won’t be cool like a mermaid.”

I found myself grinning.

“Next?” I asked.

She pulled out two more. “Last two.”

I held my hand out for one of them and opened it for her before placing it on the desk beside her elbow.

My fingertips brushed the skin of her arm and she said, “You touched my weenis.”

I blinked. “I touched your pen…what?”

“Weenis. Weenis is also known as the skin of your elbow. See?” She pointed at her elbow, then pinched the loose skin there.

“Oh,” I paused. “Good to know.”

She bit her lip, then looked away quickly, clearing her throat.

But before I could tease her about her ‘weenis’ or answer the last two questions, the bell rang. “I’ll answer these at the beginning of next session so I don’t interrupt Ms. Crusie’s next class.”

“Yes, Coach,” the class replied.

After a myriad of ‘bye, Ms. Crusie, bye, Coach McDuff,’ the class finally emptied of its occupants, leaving me and the silent woman sitting next to me completely alone.

“That was fun,” I replied.

She rolled her eyes and stood up, reaching down to collect her papers that were half under my ass.

I didn’t move.

Not until she turned her eyes up to me, and even then, it was to grab her wrist so she couldn’t go any further away.

“Go to the baseball game with me tonight, then have dinner with me.”

She blinked.

Blinked some more.

Then burst out laughing.





Chapter 6


My PEN IS bigger than yours.

-a note from student to student in Raleigh’s class

Raleigh

“Why me?” I asked bluntly once I’d regained my composure. “I’m nobody. Is this a pity party date or something?”

He wasn’t being serious.

Ezra McDuff, heartthrob and star in my own private fantasies for more years than I could count, was not asking me out on a date.