Hidden in Snow (The ?re Murders, #1)(81)
She has just left the E14 and is heading for Sadeln, driving uphill along the narrow road with its sharp bends. It reminds her of the Alps.
“You have to fix the situation with Christian.” There is a sharpness to Lydia’s tone. “If he goes through with his threat, the City Police might back out of the agreement with ?stersund. Then what will happen to your new job?”
Hanna is going a little too fast when she reaches the center of Bj?rnen. She passes SkiStar’s reception and the drag lifts that will open at the weekend. Her back wheels skid as she turns into Sadeln.
She thinks about calling Christian.
Every fiber of her being screams no.
“I just can’t apologize to him,” she whispers. “Don’t make me do that.”
Lydia sighs again. “I know how you feel, but you have no choice. The sooner the better, before he contacts the police.”
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85
By seven thirty Hanna has been sitting in the kitchen for a long time, trying to steel herself to make the call to Christian. She can’t put it off, even though the thought makes her feel sick.
Why should she say sorry to him when he’s the one who’s behaved like a complete shit?
The urge to pour herself a glass of wine is almost irresistible. She needs a drink, something to wrap her mind in cotton wool, protect her from the humiliation.
Only her self-preservation instinct stops her; she settles for a glass of Coca-Cola instead. Drinking alcohol now would be a big mistake. If she is going to get through a conversation with Christian, she needs to be sober—he would hear it in her voice if she’d been drinking.
Plus she can’t show up at work with a hangover in the morning.
The two wall lamps above the kitchen counter spread a soft, golden glow. The ceiling light is off. She scrolls through pictures of Christian on her phone. Knows she ought to delete them, but doesn’t have the strength.
She reminds herself of all the occasions when he criticized her behavior after they’d had dinner together.
When he demanded to know why she couldn’t make an effort to be more sociable, “more fun,” as he put it. Did she have to be so serious all the time?
After a long day at work, when she’d encountered yet another bruised-and-battered woman trying to protect her violent partner, it wasn’t easy to switch to party mood.
She has never been good at sparkling to order.
It was impossible to explain any of this to Christian.
Instead she kept quiet, promised to try harder next time. In the end she didn’t know what was right and wrong.
With hindsight she is ashamed of being so compliant, even though it was never enough as far as Christian was concerned.
Hanna thinks about Daniel and how well they worked together during today’s interviews. Would he criticize his partner in that way? Probably not—no doubt he would be supportive. She hardly knows him, but he seems like that kind of person.
She can’t help wondering if he’s in a relationship. Of course he is—all the nice guys of his age have already found their soulmate.
Her phone pings.
Have you cal ed Christian? How did it go?
Lydia has given Hanna more help than she could possibly have asked for, but she can also be unbelievably tone deaf. In Lydia’s world, you make a decision, carry it through, and move on.
If only it were that easy.
Hanna sends a quick reply saying she’s about to make the call; then she tucks her feet beneath her. The white upholstered dining chairs are almost like armchairs, spacious and comfortable, with generous armrests.
She brings up Christian’s number on her phone and stares at the screen.
He should still be at the realtor’s office, finishing up the day’s work. It’s Wednesday, so he’s unlikely to have a viewing this evening; Mondays and Tuesdays are always the busiest.
Could she apologize by text?
She can cope with a text message, that would be nowhere near as painful as a phone call. But Lydia said Hanna had to speak to him if she was going to persuade him not to go to the police. He’s already contacted a well-known lawyer, so he must be furious.
Hanna still feels no regret for her actions. She knew exactly how much he loved his Italian suits and shoes, and that’s why she did it. She wanted him to be as upset and devastated as she was.
She can’t admit that—it would only make matters worse.
She turns to her laptop instead; she can afford to surf the web for a few minutes to settle her thoughts.
As she puts down her phone, she knocks over the glass of Coke. It runs over the table and onto the floor, forming a big puddle, just like the other day when Zuhra accidentally spilled detergent in the hallway.
With everything that has happened, Hanna hasn’t had the chance to process yesterday’s visit to the cleaning company. It was strange that the woman who worked there didn’t know Zuhra. That must mean she works somewhere else, but where?
She wipes up the mess, then googles cleaning companies in ?re. It should be possible to find Zuhra.
She promises herself that she will call Christian in half an hour at the latest.
She knows she has to contact him, but it really goes against the grain.
OceanofPDF.com
86
Daniel is at his desk, reading the printouts of the conversations with cabin owners in Ull?dalen, conducted by Raffe, Anton, and one of the investigators in ?stersund.