Hidden in Snow (The ?re Murders, #1)(73)

Tears are pouring down her face and onto the pillow.

She doesn’t bother wiping them away, even though they are making the pillowcase cold and damp.

She doesn’t fit into her own body. Everything aches, her skin is prickling and hurting as if the shock has made it shrink. Her muscles are so tense that she is trembling, making it impossible for her to relax.

If only she could escape into sleep forever, hide away in merciful oblivion.

Never wake up again.

Why did Amanda have to die? Why couldn’t it have been her instead?

Amanda was only eighteen; she had her whole life ahead of her.

It’s not fair.

Lena doesn’t know where Harald and the twins are. She has no idea how much time has passed since she staggered up the stairs and collapsed into bed.

The world has turned black.

How can she possibly face all her relatives and friends?

Many of them got in touch when Amanda was missing, wanting to talk about the situation, share her anxiety.

Now, when it’s too late, she is incapable of accepting their grief and sympathy. It is impossible to share the loss of a child.

She is cold, in spite of the woolen blanket.

Harald has been into the bedroom several times, told her to get up and have a shower, come down for something to eat. The twins need her. He needs her. She can’t simply shut herself off like this.

He doesn’t understand.

It’s not that she doesn’t want to show herself—it’s just that she has no idea how to do it. She no longer remembers how to make her body move, how to formulate sentences with her mouth.

Amanda is dead.

Ludde is dead.

How is it possible to function as a human being after that?

Lena has no answer.

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76

It is time to go home. Daniel yawns, but the tension in his body does not ease; once again the hour is too late to give Alice her bath or even see her awake.

He pictures her little face, thinks of the treasured time he normally spends with her, and feels immense love fill his heart.

Then he thinks of Amanda’s frozen body and knows why he’s still at work.

How can he go home to be with his own daughter when Harald and Lena will never see theirs again?

He promises himself that he will be far more considerate toward Ida and Alice as soon as the case is over.

Maybe he’ll surprise Ida with a romantic dinner, if he can persuade her mom to watch Alice for a few hours.

As he’s about to log out, his phone rings. It’s Birgitta Grip—hopefully with good news. He needs a boost after his unsuccessful encounter with Viktor. He hasn’t spoken to his boss since he went to see Hanna last night, although he did send off a quick email summarizing this morning’s conversation with Astrid St?hl, Hanna’s referee.

“Lindskog.”

Birgitta is not the kind of person who wastes time on small talk. She always sounds slightly out of breath on the phone, as if she is on her way to somewhere else.

“I’ve been in touch with the City Police in Stockholm and arranged a temporary post for Hanna Ahlander. They’re lending her to us for three months initially, on our budget.”

Birgitta has delivered! A big smile spreads across Daniel’s face.

“That’s brilliant! I think she’ll be an excellent addition to the team.”

“I saw your email—she certainly had a glowing reference.”

There was no doubt that Astrid St?hl valued Hanna highly, both as a police officer and a colleague.

“Yes—St?hl is in the section where Hanna worked, and she really did sing her praises.”

“Great. Contact HR with all the details so they can sort out the paperwork.” Birgitta pauses. “This is on you, Daniel —don’t forget.”

They end the call, and Daniel immediately rings Hanna.

“We’re in business! I’ve just been given the go-ahead from ?stersund for a placement with us—at least three months. HR just has to deal with the formalities.”

“Seriously?” Hanna exclaims. “I hardly dared believe it would happen!”

“We’re ready to go.”

“I’m very much looking forward to working with you.”

Hanna’s enthusiasm is infectious. The sooner she comes on board, the better. Surely it doesn’t matter if the paperwork isn’t done yet?

“You can start tomorrow, if you like. I assume you have your data card so that you can access all our systems and databases?”

“I have. What time shall I be there?”

“Eight o’clock would be good. We have a briefing with ?stersund at seven fifteen; after that I can introduce you to the gang and bring you up to speed.”

Daniel knows he ought to hang up, but he hesitates. His head is full of contradictory thoughts after his conversation with Viktor. He’d like to share his impressions with Hanna while he’s got her on the line.

“Do you have time to discuss an aspect of the investigation now?”

“Of course—what’s it about?”

He tells her about the two meetings he has had with Viktor and what his schoolmates said about the party. How Viktor protested his innocence, no matter how hard Daniel pressed him. Daniel understands he overstepped the mark in his determination to get a confession, but he is interested in Hanna’s opinion. Could they be on the wrong track, focusing on Viktor as their prime suspect?