Here's to Us(What If It's Us #2)(71)

“I look that bad?” I try to laugh.



“Like absolute shit.” She’s already halfway across the room. “What happened?”

There’s no start space. There’s no first page to this story. I don’t even know how to tell it. All I know is he’s gone. I deserve it. I’m relieved. And I miss him. And I want to tell Ben, so he can touch my face and kiss me and say he’s loved me all along. Except he won’t, because he hasn’t, and me breaking Mikey’s heart won’t change the fact that Ben’s breaking mine all over again.





Chapter Twenty-Seven


Ben

Tuesday, June 23




“This is not what I had in mind when I said let’s hang out.”

Dylan shrugs. “No, no, no, no, no. You were bitching and moaning about how I’m the sole reason you’re leaving New York because we don’t hang out. You don’t get to bitch and moan when we actually hang out.”

“You’re not the sole reason. You’re not even in the top three reasons.”

“That’s offensive, but I don’t care about your pettiness right now because I’m anniversary shopping,” Dylan says as we enter a flower shop here in Alphabet City. “Mikey was fresh out of a Glee episode with his solo, and now I’ve got to make sure that Samantha feels the love the way Arthur did.”

I’m not sure Arthur felt the love at all. I don’t know, maybe I’m misinterpreting things, but I could swear Arthur was acting even weirder after Mikey finished his song. He was so quiet all night, almost completely checked out. I couldn’t make sense of it at all. I was so sure Mikey’s performance would have fixed the tension between them.

I keep almost texting him to check in, but I don’t how to bring it up without making it weird. I mean, I’m not exactly dying for Arthur to know how much time I’ve spent obsessing over his relationship dynamics.

But it’s probably all in my head. I probably imagined the tension. And even if they really were fighting, I’m sure they’ve kissed and made up by now. I’m sure Mikey’s gotten his I love you, too.

I’m not exactly dying to hear about that either.

“Psst.” Dylan leans in. “Being in this lovely flower shop has me wondering about what it must be like to deflow—”

“I can’t believe Samantha has almost survived two years of you,” I interrupt.

“There’s no getting away now.”

“You think you’re untouchable from heartbreak?”

“You break my heart every day,” Dylan says, reading the flower cards while the florist helps another customer. “But Samantha and I are happy.”

“I can tell. It’s nice to not be worried about you. On that front, at least. I’m definitely concerned you’re going to out-Dylan yourself in front of the wrong person one day and get a beatdown. Here’s hoping Samantha saves the day.”

“Oh, please. I watch WWE. I wish someone would try.”

Only Dylan would think watching fake wrestling is self-defense training.

He holds up some small white flowers bunched together. “What do you think of these?”

“They look like cauliflower.”

“These are stephanotis, you fool!”

“How do you even know that word?”

The florist approaches us. “A fine choice,” he says in his deep voice. He’s Black with a thick white beard, and vines draped around his shoulders. He reminds me of this potion maker in TWWW. “What’s the occasion?”

“Two-year anniversary with my girlfriend.”

“Ah, mazel tov. Do you know her favorite flowers, or are we just looking to arrange something ourselves?”

Dylan pulls out his phone and opens his Notes app. “She’s a fan of calla lilies and ranunculus.”

“You have a cheat sheet of her favorite flowers? That’s cute.”

“You have to with names like these.”

I shadow them while the florist takes Dylan around the shop.

Dylan points to some white roses. “B-Man, what do you think?”

“They’re cool.”

“Are you impersonating some straight bro? If you don’t stop and smell some roses I will get a new best friend at the Pride parade.”

“Be my guest,” I say.

“You’ll regret this. It’s going to be a huge extravaganza. It’s going to be like The Bachelor except we’ll call it The Best Friend and all your people are going to woo me so hard.”

“Can’t wait to not watch that.”

“You’re cranky. I’m going to hang with Phil here.”

I wish Phil the best of luck.

I text Mario, asking him how playing basketball with his brothers is going, and then I wander the shop while waiting for a response. There’s a section called Flowers for All Moods. Smart move since you don’t want to bring sympathy irises to date night. There are pink and red roses for love and joy. Bluish-purple daisies to wish someone better health. The bright yellow tulips are recommended to cheer someone up. It has me thinking about Arthur, though if I wanted to make his day, I’d deliver some wildflowers, which are his favorite. I almost sent him some in December after the Mikey breakup. But the only wildflower bouquet I could find was for funerals, and it cost sixty dollars, so instead I sent a link to some park’s virtual tour of their wildflower exhibit. It was better than a bouquet, because we got to watch it together.