Her Silent Cry (Detective Josie Quinn Book 6)(88)

“Josie,” Noah said. “You’re a lot of things, but dishonest is not one of them. So no, I didn’t give it a thought.”

“Well, there’s something else.”

“Which is?”

“I got drunk. Blackout drunk. I woke up in bed with Luke—clothed—but in the same bed. But I didn’t sleep with him.”

“How do you know?”

“He told me. I talked to him. Tonight. I’m sorry.”

“Well,” Noah said. “I’m pretty sure I was being a major asshole around that time.”

“That doesn’t excuse my behavior,” Josie said.

Silence fell over them. Noah’s hand kept exploring her upper back and the nape of her neck. Finally, he said, “I was right, though.”

“About what?”

“I didn’t think you would sleep with Luke and even blackout drunk, you didn’t.”

“Don’t let me off the hook,” Josie said.

“You let me off the hook after the way I acted during my mom’s case,” he pointed out.

“Not the same thing,” Josie pointed out.

“Well,” Noah said. “I can still let you off the hook if I so choose.”

Josie smiled, closed her eyes, and nestled her face deeper into his chest, inhaling his scent. “I’m not as forgiving as you.”

“Well, some sins are more egregious than others. Are we going to talk about the pregnancy?”

“There was no pregnancy,” Josie pointed out.

Noah squeezed her shoulder. “You know what I mean, Josie.”

“No, we’re not going to talk about it.”

“What if you had been pregnant?”

“Please don’t.”

“You would be an amazing mother, Josie.”

She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “Misty said the same thing but how do you know? How can you possibly know that? I had no example. I have no frame of reference. I wouldn’t know the first thing about being a mother.”

Noah pushed some of her brown locks out of her eyes. “You would figure it out. You would love your child. Everything else would come naturally.”

“Would it?” Josie asked. “Some mothers don’t bond with their children. They just don’t. Look at Amy—what Bryce Graham told me—she clearly loves and adores her daughter and yet, she had trouble bonding with Lucy.”

“But she did, eventually, and besides, trouble bonding hardly makes her a bad mother.”

“I’m just saying that the mothering thing doesn’t just come naturally. When horrific things happen to you, it changes you. Me. What happened to me in my childhood changed me.”

“I agree,” Noah said. “It made you a better, stronger, more caring person.”

“I love that you think that,” Josie said. “But can we please not talk about this now? We need sleep. Lucy Ross is still missing. I don’t want to think about anything but finding her.”

Noah laughed softly and kissed the top of her head. “You’re making my point for me.”

“I can’t hear you,” she muttered. “I’m sleeping.”





Sixty-Four





They relieved Gretchen and Mettner a few hours later. The night gave way to morning, the sun coming up on Denton with a relentless vibrancy that cared nothing for the turmoil currently gripping the city. Oaks assured Josie that his colleagues in the Buffalo field office were working hard to track down any leads there. Denton PD patrol officers located Natalie Oliver’s Ford F-150 abandoned in a ditch along a rural mountain road. The day stretched on. Josie left Noah at the command tent to go out with searchers, traversing the two-mile radius in which they’d found Violet Young. There was no sign of Lucy or her male abductor. The money went untouched. The time for the kidnapper to return Lucy to the carousel came and went with no sign of the girl.

Amy’s condition hadn’t improved but decisions had to be made, so Josie sent Mettner to retrieve Colin from the hospital. A thin gray beard covered his face. He looked pale and gaunt, as though the last few days had aged him by decades. Josie offered him coffee but he declined, sinking into a folding chair near Noah, his gaze on the floor. He looked utterly defeated.

Oaks and Josie looked at one another. She nodded for Oaks to proceed. “Mr. Ross,” he said. “We can’t leave your money in the drop locations indefinitely. We can leave it there for a few more days, but the high school will need their field back soon. What would you like us to do?”

Colin shook his head. “I don’t know. How can I make this decision? We don’t even know if Lucy is alive. My wife—” He broke off, tears gleaming in his eyes. He looked from Oaks to Josie. “What would you do?”

Josie shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t have children, Mr. Ross,” she said softly.

“But I saw you with your son the day Lucy disappeared. At the park,” he said.

Josie grimaced. “Harris is not my son. I was babysitting for a friend.”

He took that in, eyes back on the floor, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “My wife trusts you,” he said.

“Yes,” Josie said.

Oaks said, “Mr. Ross, we can’t make these decisions for you.”