Her Silent Cry (Detective Josie Quinn Book 6)(100)

“You can go right in, you know,” Colin said, appearing behind her.

Josie jumped and then laughed, turning toward him. “I didn’t want to interrupt,” she said.

In his hands was a hot tea and a milkshake. He stepped past her and nudged the door open with his elbow. “You’re not interrupting. Please. Lucy would love to see you. She was disappointed when she found out you’d been here earlier this week to talk to us without her—although I’m glad you did because she doesn’t need to know about Amy’s past. Not yet.”

Josie nodded and stepped through the door.

Lucy hopped down from the bed when they entered and ran into Josie’s arms. “Josie! I didn’t think you would come back.”

Josie touched Lucy’s cheek and smiled at her. “I just wanted to check on you and see how you and your mom were doing. How are you feeling?”

Lucy’s lips twisted. “I can’t sleep. I have bad dreams.”

Josie knelt and looked Lucy directly in the eye. “I understand. I used to have nightmares, too.”

“You did?”

“Sure,” Josie said. “I knew some bad people when I was a kid, too.”

Lucy lowered her voice. “Are they in jail?”

“Yes,” Josie said. “Yes, they are.”

“I might want to grow up to be a police officer like you,” Lucy told her. “So I can put bad people in jail.”

Josie smiled. “Then who would take care of the bugs?”

“Oh, right. My mom said she thinks I’ll be an entomologist.” She turned back to her mother. “Did I say it right?”

“You did, sweetheart,” Amy told her.

Colin walked over and handed Lucy the milkshake. “Here, Lucy. Why don’t you and I take a walk while your mom and Josie catch up?”

Lucy took the Styrofoam cup and skip-walked out the door. Colin trotted after her, calling for her not to spill her milkshake. Amy smiled as she watched them go.

Josie walked to Amy’s bedside. Amy said, “What did he say?”

“Gideon won’t see you. Also, the district attorney would prefer if you had no contact with him.”

The smile left Amy’s face. “Did you tell him the truth? About his father? What he did to me?”

“His lawyer made him aware. He still doesn’t want to see you or speak to you.”

Amy looked away from her but not before Josie saw tears in her eyes. “I didn’t want to leave him. I mean, I knew it was wrong. I tried to take him with me, but Martin caught me. He said he would kill Gideon if I ever tried to take him again. You have to understand, there was only one way out of that house, and it wasn’t with Gideon.”

“You don’t have to justify your actions to me,” Josie said. “I’m only relaying a message.”

“But I want you to understand how things were. I—I was so young. I wasn’t ready to be a mother. Poor Gideon. I didn’t know the first thing about caring for a child—especially under those conditions. I used to tell him we were going home. I don’t know why I said that. I was so stupid. I used to think maybe my mother missed me. Maybe I could take Gideon with me and she would be happy to see us—so happy she would change. She would stop doing drugs and take care of us. Then Martin told me she died, but I still told Gideon we would go. At that point, I wasn’t even talking about a physical place—it was just an idea. Home. A place where no one would hurt you, where you’d never be hungry or hurt or bored. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Given him hope?”

Amy nodded. “I lied to him.”

“Did you?” Josie asked. “Would you have taken him with you if you could have?”

Amy looked away. Her words sounded small and raspy. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Every time I looked at Gideon, it reminded me of all the terrible things Martin had done to me.”

“How did you come to be with Martin?” Josie asked, unable to quell her own curiosity.

“He was a truck driver. Every so often he was in Cleveland making deliveries at this warehouse near my apartment. I walked past there almost every day. He started talking to me. He was so nice at first. My mother—she was hooked on drugs. It wasn’t a good situation. Martin invited me many times to go on the road with him. Made it sound like an adventure. He was kind and funny, and he used to bring me gifts. Feed me when I was hungry.”

The parallels to Lucy’s kidnapping were chilling. “I went with him one day. I didn’t feel like his prisoner. We drove and drove. At first, it was exciting. Then he started to do things to me. Things I didn’t like. Things I didn’t even understand at the time. Whenever I tried to get him to stop, he became very angry and violent. I told him I wanted to go home, but he said I was pregnant. I didn’t even know. I was very na?ve. I was young even for my age—mentally, I mean. So we settled in Buffalo. He told the few nosey neighbors there that I was his wife. No one questioned it. I never left the house. I gave birth at home. It’s a miracle either of us even survived. It was very painful.”

“No one questioned the baby? How did he even get a birth certificate?” Josie asked.

“I don’t know. That must have happened after I left. Gideon looked just like him. No one would doubt his paternity. You know, all the times the police came to our house, they never asked for identification or anything like that. I told them nothing was wrong, and they left. I never once had to prove who I was. Like I said, I just stayed inside the house. Then Martin told me it was my job to take care of the baby all while he kept… assaulting me. I knew by then that’s what it was—all I did in that house was watch television. That’s how I learned about rape. Prime time drama. Soap operas.”