Her Perfect Family(37)

‘All right. Mummy says we need to hurry. Will you be long, Daddy?’

‘No. I won’t be long, darling. Put Mummy back on.’

There’s a crackling noise and for a horrible moment Matthew fears his daughter has dropped the phone.

‘Sorry. Sorry. It’s me.’ Sally’s voice again. ‘We’re in the garden. Nearly there. How long will you be?’

‘Half an hour tops. I’ll get some people to come out. Check out the doll and the package. You need to ring off. Save your battery. You may hear sirens but that’s just to make sure no one goes near the house. This is going to be OK, Sally.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘I love you. I’m going to make this OK.’

‘OK.’

She rings off but he keeps the phone pressed to his ear. He wants to add that he’s going to work with Mel and he’s not going to rest – no bloody stone unturned – until he’s found the bastard who’s frightened his family . . .

How dare they. How dare they . . .

‘What’s happened, Matt?’ Mel has stepped forward, looking right into his face. ‘I overheard bits. You got a parcel too? At home?’

‘Yep. Some kind of doll. With blood. Nasty—’

‘But not a bomb? No explosives. Wires?’

‘Nothing obvious.’

‘Right. We play safe. There’s a package on Gemma Hartley’s ward too. Unopened. They’re sending in a sniffer dog first. They’re moving patients but it’s too difficult to move Gemma. Too near the package. Too dangerous.’

‘And what about her mother?’

‘She’s refusing to leave. She’s staying with Gemma.’

Matthew puts his hand to his mouth. ‘I have to go, Mel. I have to get home.’

‘Of course. I’ll get a team to your house too. Get going. I’ll ring you en route. I’m on this. It’s going to be all right, Matt.’





CHAPTER 23


Lemon


I’m tired of reading the platitudes in the paper. Telling everyone they’re safe. That it’s all OK. All in hand. Blah blah blah.

It’s a disgrace – lying to everyone. Tricking everyone.

Well, they can’t trick me . . .

I see. I know.

I found a cot mobile online. Delivered yesterday. It doesn’t have the tune I wanted but it’s the right colours – lemon and white – so I’m pleased. Things are looking nice and organised in here now.

I’ve set the mobile above the cot – high enough to be safe but low enough to be enjoyed. It soothes me to wind it up and sit in here a while to listen. As I say, it’s not the tune I would have chosen but it’s some kind of lullaby. Gentle. Sweet.

I’m not feeling great, actually, so I need to work hard to stay calm. I’ve had to limit my supply of everything. My drugs, I mean. Pace myself. So some of the time, I feel wired and then it’s like jumping from a window and I’m incredibly tired. But no matter. It’s to be expected. They’ve never really worked – the drugs. I know that now but I’m worried how it will feel without them completely so I need to make sure I don’t run out.

So it’s good to have this room to focus on.

I’ve put a calendar on the wall and it’s not too long to wait. I can be patient. I can do this.

I just need to try to stop dwelling on the past and to think of the future when it will all have been worth it.

It’s just such a shame that no one would listen to me before. Trust me? If people had listened to me, all this need never have happened.





CHAPTER 24


THE DAUGHTER – BEFORE

Is Tess in Tess of the d’Urbervilles portrayed as being responsible for her own demise?

I don’t believe it. I am sitting on my bed, staring at the test stick with tears rolling down my face and I still don’t believe.

Two blue lines. Pregnant. How? HOW?

I’ve been crying for so long that my face actually feels numb. But crying doesn’t help. I need to do something. Anything. To write. To type. To figure out what the hell I am going to do next.

I honestly just don’t understand how this could have happened. I’ve been on the Pill for years without a single scare.

I mean I know I get a tummy upset occasionally – irritable bowel syndrome, actually – but I never thought this would happen. Could happen. I’ve been googling the morning-after pill but that just makes me cry even more. Is it too late for that? Legal? Ethical? I haven’t a clue about my dates, not really. I don’t know what’s legal and what’s not. Can anyone get the morning-after pill if it isn’t actually technically the morning after? Do I go to my doctor? Do I go to a clinic? Can someone at the uni help me? Will it def be anonymous? I feel that I should know this stuff but I don’t and I’ve no one I can confide in. Maddy is out because I can’t face telling her about the father. It’s way too dangerous for him. Mum would never cope – it would literally kill her and I just can’t talk to her about this kind of thing. And in any case, everyone will think it’s ‘A’’s. Which it can’t be by my calculations . . . if the blurred dates in my head are right, that is.

And oh my God, do I tell him? The father. How do I do that? I suppose he has a right to know. A right to have a say, but it’s early days for us. And he’s married. And what if he thinks I did this on purpose, which of course I absolutely didn’t.