Heart of My Monster (Monster Trilogy, #3)(89)

Kirill stands and squeezes Konstantin’s shoulder. “I’ll be back.”

He abandons the cup of coffee in the nearest trash can and strides toward me.

Once he stops in front of me, it’s like he’s gained a few inches of height. The dark tattoos peeking out from the collar of his shirt appear monstrous when coupled with his closed-off expression.

“What are you doing here?” His voice is harsh and authoritarian, like in our army days. “You should be resting.”

“I’m…fine. The doctor said I can move around.”

“The doctor also said not to put a strain on your health.”

I swallow. “Is this because I’m pregnant? Are you concerned about your son’s life?”

“I’m concerned about your life, damn it.” His eyes blaze with flames. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were pregnant? Why did you choose to act suspicious and pull away from me instead?”

Emotions clog my throat, and I hate the feeling of being so vulnerable. So…damn inferior.

“I…didn’t want you to force me to stay because of the baby. I wanted to come to terms with us first.”

“There’s no us anymore since we’re divorcing in a few weeks.”

I jerk as if someone punched me in the gut. My body trembles, and my eyes sting. “You…will divorce me?”

“Isn’t that what you wanted when you came back? You clearly demanded a divorce after three months.”

But that was before I knew everything. Divorce is the last thing I want right now.

Also, I genuinely thought he’d never grant me that, considering how often he reminded me that he wouldn’t let me leave him.

“I…” I trail off, not knowing what to say. “We can…extend that until after I give birth. You know, so he’s not illegitimate.”

“No.”

I reel again. What the hell is with him punching metaphorically today?

“I also don’t want you to stay with me just because of the baby,” he says.

Oh.

“But…you want me to stay?”

“Only if you love me.” He takes my hands in his. “If you don’t, I will pursue you again and for as long as it takes until you fall head over heels for me.”

“Then, the divorce…”

“I was testing you. The word divorce doesn’t exist in my dictionary with you. The day I married you, I promised to be your husband till death do us part, and I intend to keep that promise. I already lost you once, I’ll be damned if I lose you again.”

My throat closes. “Does that mean you love me?”

He caresses my hair in gentle strokes. “I don’t only love you. I’m nothing without you. I don’t know when it started or when it grew into this fiery explosion, but I know for a fact that you’ve become an undivided part of me. You’re the solace I need every night and the light I look forward to every morning. I might have strived for power and prestige, but it took losing you to realize that my universe revolves around you.”

A whole-body shudder grips hold of me, and I’m barely preventing myself from bawling my eyes out.

I’ve always wanted Kirill to tell me I’m special to him. He’s shown it in action plenty of times, and I thought I was okay with that, but deep inside me, I wanted to hear it, too.

The words he just said are more than I ever imagined.

More than I ever wished for.

I place an unsteady palm on his chest. “Does that mean if I ask you to stop being Pakhan, you’ll give up the position for me?”

He catches hold of my hand and kisses my palm. “Today if you want.”

“Really?”

“Whatever my beautiful wife wants.”

“But you worked so hard for it.”

“That position means nothing without you.”

“Oh, Kirill.” I throw myself in his arms. “Of course I won’t ask you to give up your hard-earned power. I’ll stand by your side every step of the way.”

“Does that mean you still love me?”

I pull back and stroke his cheek. “I never stopped, idiot. It’s hard to live without you and impossible to forget you, but I had no choice in loving you.”

“Good. Because I don’t intend to ever let you go.”

“Even if I hate you sometimes?”

“Especially then.”

“Even if I’m difficult?”

“I’m difficult, too.”

“Even if you get tired of me?”

“I’d get tired of the world, but never you, wife.”

“You better not.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “Because I will also never let you go, husband.”

I’m his.

He’s mine.

And neither of us has a say in it.





EPILOGUE 1 — SASHA





FIVE MONTHS LATER





Despite all the craziness, life has gone on.

It feels like forever since that day many bodies dropped and crucial decisions were made. Probably because a lot of things have happened since.

Yulia died about two weeks after she fell into a coma. While Konstantin looked sad and Karina had a conflicted expression, Kirill stood at her funeral like a cold statue.