Heart of My Monster (Monster Trilogy, #3)(63)

She doesn’t say anything, seemingly dazed. But she does put on some disgusting Christmas music and sings along when I’m driving away.

I find myself smiling every time she gets excited because she knows the lyrics. I might drive slower, too.

When we arrive at the cottage, she climbs out, her shoulders hunched. “We should’ve at least gotten a little tree.”

“There’s no need.”

She stops short in front of the house when she sees the dozen strings of lights and two Christmas trees outside.

“You…did this?”

“I ordered it. Does that count?”

“Yes!” She hugs me, jumping up and down while doing so. Since I’ve become addicted to her hugs, I use every chance I get to enjoy her touch.

After a while, she notices the two cars crowding the driveway and searches my gaze. “Who did you invite?”

She doesn’t wait for my reply as she dashes inside. The house is in full annoying Christmas spirit. Karina is telling Viktor that he’s decorating the tree all wrong and that, apparently, the lights can’t be placed like they’re security wires.

Konstantin and Kristina are placing their own ornaments and smiling at each other like the protagonists of a clichéd Hallmark movie.

“Sasha!” My sister gives up on correcting Viktor’s feeble attempts at decorating and runs into my wife’s embrace. “What do you think? What do you think?”

“This is so beautiful.” Sasha greets the others and even pats Viktor on the back, to which he grunts.

If I’m a grinch, he’s a heretic.

“Is that you?” he says, judging my sweater so hard, I’m surprised he doesn’t shoot laser holes through it. “Couldn’t recognize you in those hideous colors.”

“Very funny.” I give him a forced smile and he just shakes his head, suppressing his own smile.

I go upstairs to change out of the awful thing. I’m buttoning my shirt when the door to the bedroom opens. Soon after, toned arms wrap around me from behind and Sasha buries her head in my back.

My eyes briefly close, thinking about that image of her I conjured after I thought she was dead.

No. This is real. She’s back.

My wife whispers, “Thank you for planning all of this.”

I turn around to face her. “You’re not uncomfortable with the whole Christmas vibe?”

“Not as much as I thought I’d be. It’s time I let go of that. Thank you for making me step out of my comfort zone and sharing your family with me.”

“Should I tell Maksim to bring Anton over?”

She shakes her head. “He’ll try to kill you or hold Karina hostage to kill you.”

I’m glad she’s levelheaded enough to recognize that. I only mentioned it to placate her. I’d never allow that vermin near my family. If it were up to me, I’d never allow him near her either.

“Take me to visit him later instead,” she suggests. “For now, let’s just live in the moment.”

The moment.

I like that.

One problem, though. I’m not an in-the-moment type of person.

My mind is already full of possible plans for the future. However, all the noises quiet down when my wife gets on her tiptoes and plants a kiss on my lips. “Schastlivogo Rozhdestva, Luchik.”

Merry Christmas.

I’ve never liked this atrocious holiday as much as I do right now.





20





SASHA





I never thought I’d say this, but the past few days were possibly the happiest of my life.

Nothing could’ve prepared me for the overwhelming emotions I’ve had since Kirill’s family came to celebrate the holidays with us.

Well, minus Yulia. And I’m thankful for that because she’s been glaring at me nonstop ever since I came back.

On Christmas day, I asked many of the guards I’ve spent years with to join us for dinner.

Kirill definitely didn’t like that turn of events and he expressed his displeasure in the form of glares, but I made it up to him in the shower that night.

He definitely enjoyed that, so I’d say the mission was a success.

Over the time we’ve been spending here, I’ve grown to like this new side of Kirill. He’s still the same infuriating man I first met in the army, but he feels closer now. More real. Touchable.

But this sense of comfort is, as I suspected, ending soon.

I know that Uncle and Babushka will always want to kill him. Aside from wanting to gain Anton’s freedom, I don’t know if I share any goals with them anymore.

But then again, how can I save Anton without risking Kirill’s life?

Whenever I think about it, my head hurts, which is why I choose to only focus on the now.

For as long as the now lasts. Be it a few days or months. I don’t care as long as I’m in this dream-like state.

It’ll hurt like a mother on the day when I finally wake up, but that day isn’t today.

Something much more stressful is happening today.

“Maybe I’ll come back another time,” I murmur, even though it’s only the two of us in the sterile white room.

Kristina clasps my hand in hers and smiles. “Today is as good as any.”