Havenfall (Havenfall #1)(78)

He takes a breath, but then, as I back away and light from the setting sun hits me, his eyes go wide. They travel over me, and whatever he was going to say seems to dissipate as he takes in my wet clothes, the bruises. “Maddie, what happened?” he chokes out after a moment.

My voice comes out too loud and on the edge of cracking. “Someone tried to kill me.”

The rage that ripples through his clenched muscles, the fierce flash of his eyes, is enough to burn a hole through the door behind me. “Who? Are they at Havenfall?”

I take a deep breath. “This asshole named Whit. And no.” But, a small voice in my head whispers. What about the Byrnisian man who gave the order to kill me? What’s his deal, who is he working for?

Brekken swipes his hair back from his face, letting out a pained breath. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. You’re right, I don’t know what’s happened. But we’ll fix it.” He steps forward, his hand coming up to gently cup my cheek. I stare up at him, frozen with confusion and doubt, but wanting nothing more than to lean into his touch.

Then something barely perceptible feathers my skin. The touch of something invisible, soft and warm and lighter than air. It spreads up from my lips, over my face, through my hair. And when it lifts, the pain in my head—the heavy pounding from hitting the cellar wall, the car trunk floor, the surface of Mirror Lake—it’s all gone at once.

Technically, Brekken’s my enemy now, I realize. But with the healing magic, a feeling of being loved and cared for crashes into me with the impact of a semitruck. No matter what’s happened, where he’s been, I know Brekken loves me. And even though I’m still angry and confused, still full of a thousand questions, a strangled gasp escapes me, and I’m moving forward without deciding to, launching myself into his arms.

I didn’t realize just how hard I missed him, or how much I really thought I’d never see him again, even if I didn’t let myself admit it. But now, he’s here. He’s here. And before either of us has a chance to explain anything more, I kiss him, our mouths crashing together, even as tears are streaming down my face.

“These past days, with you gone, without knowing if you were okay …” Words spill out of me when we part to breathe, my throat closing up with emotion. I have one hand in Brekken’s hair, one on his waist; he’s still cradling my face, and the effects of the healing magic combined with his kisses make me suddenly dizzy. I sway on my feet and a soft noise of alarm escapes Brekken’s lips. He guides me backward, sitting me on the bed and kneeling in front of me. Tears shine on his upturned face, and I’m not sure if they’re mine or his. And before I know it, I’m leaning forward and kissing him again, the snow smell surrounding me like a blizzard without cold. A whiteout.

Brekken’s hands move over my cheeks, down my arms, to my waist. Slow, gentle. “Maddie,” he breathes, hoarse, then lets out the breath. His pupils are blown wide in the gathering dark. “Let’s first deal with the fact that someone tried to kill you, yes? And then we can do this for as long as we want, and be safe doing it.” His hands move in small circles on my waist, and when I try to kiss him again, he pulls back a little—teasingly, but with seriousness in his eyes.

A growl of frustration dies behind my teeth. The problems outside the door to my room are so vast and tangled, and I’m so unequal to them. He’s right, obviously, but he doesn’t understand that he’s asking for something impossible.

And there’s more: doubts and shadows in my mind, momentarily shoved aside by adrenaline and desire, and now slinking back. I don’t want to wait because the truth is, I don’t know what I want. I don’t know how I feel. Everything about this feels right, and yet, only days ago, I was flirting with Taya, learning of her past with a curiosity that I haven’t felt in a long time. I think of the quirk of her mouth, the angry slump of her shoulders and the way she snorts when she’s annoyed, which is often. I think of the burning sadness in her eyes, the secrets. And I know that I can’t just fall back into Brekken as if nothing has changed.

Everything has changed.

I’ve changed.

“Okay,” I whisper, voice ragged. “Okay, let’s talk. Starting with, where have you been?”

“The palace at Myr,” he replies, cracking his old half smile, though it feels more like an attempt to comfort me than anything else. “It’s a long story, but I never meant to leave you, Maddie, I promise.”

“I know,” I say. I scoot aside on the bed, pull him up to sit beside me. Questions battle for dominance on the tip of my tongue, the weight of everything I’ve learned over the past few days pressing in—the complicated web of guilt and double crosses and no answers.

Marcus and the Heiress, Brekken and the stolen keys, my mother the host, whatever that means.

The kid in the antique shop basement and the spark between my fingers when I touched the metal she’d enchanted.

How she trapped wind magic in the spoon, how it ripped through the lake later, burning my skin and setting me free. How binding the magic took something out of her, from her.

“The Heiress told me what you were doing, about the black market,” I say haltingly. “I know Marcus was selling magic objects, and the Heiress was buying them back, and that my mom was involved somehow. And I think …” I stumble, suddenly feeling unsure of myself, but Brekken’s steady gaze on mine encourages me to go on. “I think that Solarians are also involved. I think they’re the ones who can bind magic.”