Happenstance(27)

Me: Oh. Jesus.

E: ??

Me: I have a little thing for yoga pants. By that I mean I have a thing for wanting to see them on you. Don’t send me a picture.

E: Why not?

Me: You remember my issue on the tram? It’ll become an issue again. Real fast.



* * *



A picture comes through of her and I shake my head, “Nope,” starting to put my phone back in my pocket. Yeah, right. I don’t make it five seconds before I’m tapping download on the image and then heat is running rampant through my body, with an emphasis on a certain appendage. She has sent me a shot of her in a white sports bra and navy blue nylon pants. They’re so tight, I can make out the shape of her pussy clearly. And the low-rise band of said pants gives me a view of those little peach fuzz hairs under her navel. The shape of her hips. Her breasts, nipples clear as day. This woman is artwork in human form.



* * *



E: See you tonight, Gabe.

Me: I’ll be seeing you pretty much all day, every time I blink.

E: #Favorite.



* * *



When I recover from that single word, I take a gulp and overdo it. Can’t help myself.



* * *



Me: I needed this. To talk to you.



* * *



A chunk of seconds passes before she answers.



* * *



E: I told you. You’re capable of more than you think, Gabe. Remember that.



* * *



When I return to work at the end of my lunch hour, there is a little more steel in my shoulders, energy in my step, and her words echoing in my head.



* * *



Tobias





* * *



I knew the muppet would only change one number—and the last one at that.

Within five tries, I’ve reached Elise.

I’m sitting in the waiting room at my therapist’s office when she texts me back.



* * *



Elise: Gabe only changed one number, didn’t he?



* * *



My laughter startles the receptionist. After catching her breath, she gives me a sly, questioning smile. Understandable. Normally I’m leaning across the desk by now, flirting with her until my appointment time arrives—what else is there to do? But Elise must have completely ruined me, because the only thing that turns me on at the moment are venomous insults. Furthermore, the idea of flirting with another woman turns my stomach sour.

Alarming, to say the least.

Especially considering Elise still can’t stand the sight of me.

I wiggle my fingers in anticipation of texting Elise back. Maybe a carefully selected nude? God knows I have plenty of those. It would be a shame not to immortalize my physique now and again in my iPhone camera roll. Something tells me that will get my number blocked, however, so I settle on something that will encourage her to reply.

Because I want to talk to her. I want to know her.

What the fuck is this change taking place inside of me?

Before I can ask about her day—blech, how common—my therapist arrives in the doorway, summoning me inside. I come very close to canceling the entire session, just so I can text back my brown-eyed beauty, but I’ve come all the way out to Roosevelt Island and these appointments don’t run cheap, so I sigh and follow her into the familiar room full of house plants and colorful furniture.

The first time I walked into this office, I didn’t think Dr. Bunton and I would be a good fit. Her taste in décor is unrefined and she wears rainbow Crocs, for the love of God, but she got me talking. Acknowledging my shit out loud. That’s more than I can say for the last three shrinks who tried to figure me out.

“It’s nice to see you again, Tobias. How have you been since the last time?”

I have to chuckle. “Life has been interesting, to say the least.”

She settles into a giant mustard yellow armchair. “How so?”

After removing my overcoat and laying it across the back of a leather couch, I take a seat across from Dr. Bunton. “I met a woman. She loathes me. It’s fabulous.”

Her mouth opens and closes. “You like the fact that she loathes you?”

“No. I hate it. But for now…I think it’s fabulous that she feels something for me. Anything. If you met her, you might understand.” Finding the right words to explain here is almost impossible. How can I describe the seismic shift that happens in my bones when Elise flicks me a mere glance? “Having her acknowledge me feels like winning no matter her opinion, even if I would like to change that opinion. Drastically.”

Dr. Bunton is silent for a few beats. “Your words are carrying a lot of weight today.”

“Are they?” I throw my ankle up onto my knee. Casual as you please. “Hmm.”

The ticking clock in the room suddenly seems louder.

“You came to New York from London five years ago and you’ve yet to let anyone close. All of your acquaintances are surface level and almost always sparked by your persona. Most of your time is spent in your apartment.”

“It’s a lovely apartment,” I interject, somewhat dully, a throb happening in my chest.