Halfway to You(25)

“I think you’re covered,” he finally said. He shifted away, sitting on his towel once again, and took another long pull of wine.

“Thanks,” I responded lightly, hoping he couldn’t hear the fluster in my voice.

I lay on my belly, propped on my elbows, and reached for the wine. He handed it over, and I drank.

We relaxed in silence for a bit, enjoying the breeze, eating olives and bread. We were halfway through the bottle—the world fuzzing ever so slightly—when I decided to pipe up.

“Todd?”

“Yeah, Copper?”

I smiled a lopsided smile at that. “Are you angry that I followed you here? I half expected you to hate me for it—or be creeped out.”

He snorted and turned to his side, resting his temple on his fist. “You’re the least creepy person I’ve ever met.”

I rolled onto my side, too, mirroring his position. “Okay, fine, but are you mad?”

“Of course not. I’m glad to see you.” His eyes held mine for four heartbeats, five. It was the same gaze that had captured me in Venice—that steady, contented attention.

“But that’s what I don’t get,” I said. “It seemed so final in Venice.”

“Then why’d you come?”

I pursed my lips and looked down my nose at the sand. “I don’t know.”

He ducked his head, catching my vision with his own. I found brief calm in his lakelike irises.

“We had no closure,” I said. “I thought . . . didn’t you feel something?”

He looked out at the water, his eyes darkening with that same expression I’d seen before, a faraway pain—like spotting a storm on the horizon. “I felt terrible for leaving like that. And the truth is, I think you’re really great.”

“You do?” I leaned forward like a magnet, wishing he’d put his hands on me again.

“But . . .” His attention sank to my lips; he licked his own, then bit down. He sat up. “Ann, I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. I can’t be in a relationship right now.”

I sat up, too, rejected all over again.

“It’s just, well, I lost someone . . . and I can’t . . .” He paused, swallowed. “I could really use a friend right now.”

“Then why turn me away?”

He peered at me from under his eyebrows in a knowing look. “Maybe you don’t sense an attraction here, but I . . .” I smiled, and he groaned. “It’s hard for me to be around you unless we’re both on the same page. Can we just be friends? Are you okay with that?”

“Of course,” I said, but I was lying. I sensed he was lying too. What we had between us already felt bigger than a platonic relationship; I was determined to change his mind.

So later, when it blew up in my face, I had only myself to blame. I should’ve taken him seriously. I should’ve respected that something deeper was at play.

“Care for a swim?” I asked.

Todd shook his head, so I took off down the beach. As I slipped into the water, I knew he was watching. The ocean was salty and warm. I paddled in the shallows for a while, then emerged when I saw Keith returning.

“Any luck?” I walked up, dripping wet.

“None,” Keith said, eyeing me. Then he eyed Todd. “You two having fun?”

Todd rolled his eyes and lay back.

I flopped back down on my towel. “I saw you chatting with some woman,” I said to Keith. “Still no naked sunbathing for you?”

Keith laughed. “Do you really want to see that?”

“I’m just saying,” I egged.

Todd chimed in. “Yeah, you hypocrite, take it off.”

“Do you really want to see that?” Keith repeated.

I took a swig of our waning wine. “Come on, your ass needs a tan.”

He laughed, full and deep. “I see you two have been hitting the sauce.”

“Okay, I’ll strike a deal with you two,” I said. “I’ll tan my boobs if you tan your asses.”

“You’re bluffing,” Keith said.

“What makes you say that?” I knew I had Todd’s attention, stupid as it was to get it that way. But I was young and tipsy and finally having a good time. The dancers I’d known at the club in Denver had been so sex positive; though I was shy about my body, I craved a taste of that confidence. I wanted to do something daring—to be able to say, Yeah, I’ve been to a nude beach. And yeah, I sunbathed topless. Naively, I also wanted to tempt Todd.

“I know this gambit,” Keith said, narrowing his eyes at me. “You wait until we take off our trunks, and then when it’s your turn, you laugh your ass off.”

“If you don’t believe me, then I’ll go first.”

“You’ll go first.” Keith didn’t sound convinced.

“If you shake my hand and agree to the deal, then, yeah, I’ll go first.”

“Deal,” Keith said, just as Todd said, “No way.”

I shrugged. “Suit yourself. Keith, you still in?”

He shook my hand.

I sat up. Though they were small, I liked my breasts well enough. I slid the straps of my swimsuit down and bunched the one-piece at my belly button, my skin tensing in the breeze. Forcing myself to be gutsy, I lay back with my arms behind my head. Casual. Smug. Todd was staring at the waves again, but Keith had met my eyes.