Halfway to You(114)
To Maggie’s great surprise, Tracey chuckles. Beneath the table, Maggie grasps her mother’s hand, and Tracey folds both her palms over Maggie’s fingers—fiercely, motheringly.
“I’d like to take this moment to say that I’m sorry,” Ann goes on. “Not for what I did, exactly, but for the hurt my actions caused.” Ann’s golden eyes find Maggie, and she smiles down at her—fondly. “And I’d like to make a toast to the young woman beside me, who upended all our lives in the best possible way. Who bravely brought us all together and forced us to face the past, if only for the sake of a more honest future.” Ann nudges Maggie’s shoulder. “Maggie, would you please stand again?”
Maggie hesitates, glancing at her mother and father before rising beside Ann.
“Keith would be so proud of you,” Ann says to her, then lower, “Todd too.”
“We are all so proud,” Bob adds.
Ann smiles at him, then lifts her wineglass a little higher. “To Maggie.”
In unison, the family cries, “To Maggie!”
And for a moment, Maggie could swear she hears Keith’s voice among the cheers.
Podcast: Stories Behind the Stories
Episode #148: Ann Fawkes
Air Date: June 2024
[“Stories” jingle.]
HOST, ANITA SING: You’re listening to Stories Behind the Stories. I’m Anita Sing. In this episode, our guest host is Maggie Whitaker-McCallum, an editor and assistant producer who, by way of this story, earned herself a promotion to full-time producer here at SBTS. Maggie spoke with Ann Fawkes, author of the cult classic Chasing Shadows and the much-anticipated story collection Letters I Should Have Written. Their conversation started off as a regular interview, but Maggie soon learned that Ann’s story is a peculiar one—peculiar, in part, because it overlaps with Maggie’s life in surprising ways.
[Fade into a field recording clip.]
ANN: I didn’t invite you here for a deeper take.
MAGGIE: Then why am I here?
[Fade to Maggie in studio.]
MAGGIE: I’m Maggie, and this episode is a special one. Why? Because it literally changed my life.
For a week in January, I sat down with my favorite author to discuss her life. Fans of Ann Fawkes know what a rare opportunity this was—a private person, Ann has never publicly opened up to this degree. But as the interview process got started, Ann and I soon realized that her tell-all was significant for another reason: her life intersected with mine. Throughout the interview, decades-old secrets about my own family were unearthed. Half truths became whole.
One could call this episode a two-in-one. Because scribbled in the margins of the story of Ann Fawkes is the story of Maggie Whitaker-McCallum: intrepid journalist, loving niece, grateful daughter, and staunch believer in the power of gut feelings.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Travel has always been a powerful source of inspiration for me.
The idea for this novel came to me in 2019, while I was on a jungle tour in Tahiti, French Polynesia (seriously). I had this image of a woman smoking a cigarette at a hotel patio table in a beautiful oceanside locale, realizing that she’s been stood up. I wanted to write a sweeping love story, one that took place over decades of togetherness and distance. What keeps people coming back to one another, and what keeps them apart? Why are we so resistant to vulnerability, when it in fact leads to something we so deeply crave: intimacy? I wanted to explore these themes and more.
This book you’re holding went through many (many, many) iterations, but I’m proud that a version of that initial idea remains the opening scene. Imagine me feverishly typing “plumeria and tropical rain” into the Notes app of my iPhone while bouncing in the back of a jeep somewhere along the Papenoo River. You never know when a book idea is going to hit you.
The irony of this travel novel was that six months after its inception, the world shut down. I edited this book all throughout 2020 and was grateful to travel vicariously through my characters over the many months of staying home. As I navigated the collective and individual grief of lockdowns, death, and uncertainty, the inspiring themes of the book—physical distance and emotional closeness—were at the forefront of my mind. When times are tough, I tend to lose myself in my writing—it’s my security blanket—but this novel also provided a grounding sense of connection for me during the pandemic.
The locations in this book are near and dear to my heart. My husband and I honeymooned in Greece and Italy; I taught English in Thailand; San Juan Island is just a couple ferries away from my hometown; and Tahiti—well, you get the idea.
All this is to say I’d first like to acknowledge not a specific person but the places that inspired this novel and continue to inspire me as I explore this beautiful planet. Thank you to the pilots and cab drivers, the baristas and waiters, the tour guides and museum clerks, the shopkeepers and hotel staff. Thank you to anyone who has kept me company as I walked across cobblestone streets or wedged into the back of a tuk-tuk.
Next, I’d like to acknowledge my agent, Michelle, whose encouragement and expertise keeps my career on track. Thank you for being the very best partner in this business.
To Alicia, my editor at Lake Union: Thank you for championing this book. You make me a better author, and I’m so grateful to work with you.
A lot of people contribute to a book. This one wouldn’t be possible without my copyeditor, Elyse; my proofreader, Stephanie; my invaluable author-support gal, Gabe; and the rest of the behind-the-scenes team of designers and marketers.