Graduation Day (The Testing, #3)(68)

My lungs burn. My pulse pounds. Both make me feel alive. It isn’t until I see familiar landmarks that tell me I am only a block from the University gates that I slow. I click the Call button on the Communicator one last time, not caring if Zeen speaks and someone else overhears. I need to hear his voice. But the device stays silent. I feel a part of my heart go still as I slide it back into my bag and exchange it for the pulse radio. The indicator light is dark. Recording a whispered message, I tell Tomas, Stacia, and Will that I am currently headed to where we began this journey. Then I press Send. Instead of putting the radio back in my bag, I slide it into my jacket pocket to keep the thought of Tomas close, and I start moving through the shadows.

The archway of the University entrance comes into view. Seeing it again, I remember how I felt the first time I rode beneath it. Tomas, Malachi, and Zandri were beside me as we spotted the wrought-iron sign that reads THE UNIVERSITY OF THE UNITED COMMONWEALTH. Despite my father’s warnings, I felt excitement and hope. I do not cross under the archway now. If anyone suspects I’m on my way here, this is where they will wait. Instead, I head toward the TU Administration building on the edge of campus.

I’m careful to keep my tread light so no one nearby hears me as I walk through the darkness, listening for sounds of officials or rebels lurking nearby and thinking of the day I left Five Lakes Colony. Before The Testing. When I trusted others but was not always sure I trusted myself.

Heading toward where this all started, I think I finally understand why The Testing was created. In a time when each decision could mean the difference between a country rebuilt and one that becomes too broken to repair, the founders of The Testing were not willing to trust anyone’s best intentions. They needed leaders who were not just smart or kind or nice, but who were capable of making the tough choices that most people would not want to make. Of putting necessity above all else and acting on it without hesitation.

Stacia is right. President Dalton faltered. His wasn’t the worst mistake, but historians say that by the Fourth Stage of War it was clear that peace talks had no chance of prevailing. Despite so many deaths and so much destruction, the leaders of the main alliances still believed their desire for conquest could be fulfilled. They had invested too much to step back. Doing so would have been akin to admitting they were wrong. The only measure that could have stopped the Fourth Stage from progressing would have been to eliminate the leaders who were marching the world toward destruction. Had that happened, perhaps those who took their place could have seen the futility of the devastation around them and taken steps to end the war.

But that didn’t happen. The leaders pushed forward with their war and the world collapsed. The United Commonwealth rose from the ashes of that world, and The Testing was created to ensure that leaders would not fail like that again. But while The Testing seeks to push candidates to show what they are capable of, it fails to recognize that different circumstances bring about different results. The Testing committee believed I should be cast as one who failed because I couldn’t do what was necessary. How I passed is still a mystery, but the journey I make now shows how wrong they were.

The sound of boots slapping against pavement hits me, and I slip behind a bush. The footsteps are somewhere to my left. I squint into the darkness and spot two people racing south. Officials? Rebels? There’s no way to know. When they disappear, I wait for several minutes before walking in the opposite direction. I see the edge of the fence in the distance and hurry to reach it. When I do, I’m glad for the lack of windows in the back of the TU Administration building and I slip around the fence onto campus.

Gunshots sound in the distance. A siren starts to wail as more gunfire erupts. I flatten myself behind a bush and wait. A scream rises above the din. Other voices shout and more shots are fired. All of it sounds as if it is taking place on the other side of campus. When another round of gunfire rings out from somewhere far to my left, I clasp the gun and stand.

Careful to keep to the shadows, I cross behind the building and head toward the stadium, trying not to think of what happened there only yesterday. But I do think of Tomas. Is he safe? The radio light stays dark.

Just past the stadium I see it. Five stories tall and almost hidden in the darkness because of its black steel and black glass exterior. The fence that surrounds the area around it also blends into the night, but I know it is there along with the small bronze sign that announces the purpose of the work that takes place inside.

The Testing Center.

The last time I was inside that building, Dr. Barnes announced that the twenty of us seated in the room with him had been accepted to the University. Tomas and I were together. Without my memories of The Testing I had just passed through, I was happy.

I spot a figure standing in the shadows near the front of the building and go still. Without getting closer I can’t determine whether the man is one of the rebel students or a Safety official. But all the activity to the south has not pulled his attention, so I know he will not be drawn away easily. I will have to find a way around him or another way inside.

A back door or windows on the main floor would allow me to enter without being seen. I don’t recall the presence of either, but I circle around to the back of the building to check. The black fence that surrounds the building grounds is only chest high and easy to scale. Once on the other side, I confirm what I hoped was not true. The guarded entrance is the only way inside.

As silently as possible, I cross the area behind The Testing Center. The upper-story windows are darkened, making it impossible to know if Dr. Barnes is inside. Have I ever seen light coming from the windows here? I don’t think so. The only time I remember being outside this building during The Testing was in the daytime, when we were waiting for the results of the first test and they allowed us to go outside. Zandri, Malachi, Tomas, and I sat near a small pond. As I approach that spot now, I remember how Zandri’s hair caught the sunlight and the way she made Malachi laugh. Last year the fountain in the middle of the pond was broken. To pass the time, Tomas and I worked together to repair it. The fountain is currently turned off, and I wonder if there’s a way to use it to create a diversion.