Graduation Day (The Testing, #3)(41)

I want to say yes, but it would be a lie. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Yes, you do.” Raffe’s voice is soft but firm. “You ask yourself what your goal is. You look at the facts as you know them, and you make the call.”

“What if I’m wrong?”

“Then you’re wrong.” Raffe’s voice cracks though the swirl of confusion like a whip. “If you’re looking for guarantees, you’re asking the wrong person. Leaders don’t get guarantees. The only thing they can do is make the most educated decision they can and hope for the best. Isn’t that how you got through The Testing and our Induction?”

I shake my head. “That was different. I’m not sure I can do this.” There has already been so much needless death. The weight of those lives presses on my chest, making it hard to breathe. Whom do I trust? The president? Raffe? Tomas? Myself?

But if Raffe sees my trepidation, he doesn’t show it. Instead he says, “Well, if you can’t, then none of us can. One person can’t do it alone, and I doubt Stacia and Tomas would help if I asked. The only way this works, Cia, is with you.”

“I know.” I see Tomas approaching and am certain Stacia isn’t far behind. Neither of them would have picked Raffe for a teammate. I doubt they would even pick each other. Raffe is right. The future is on me.

Ever since I was little, I wanted to be like my father—someone everyone turned to for answers. Until now, I’d only thought of his successes. I never considered how alone he must have felt or the courage it took to take the next step forward knowing that another wrong move could ruin us all. But though he might have wanted to, he didn’t walk away. He didn’t have guarantees that things would work out. He made the decision he believed was best because that was all he could do. Just as it is the only thing I can do now. I think of the symbol Raffe created for me. For us. For this purpose. I came to Tosu City because I wanted to be a leader. I thought that would come after I graduated from the University. I thought that event would signal my readiness. But I can no longer wait for Graduation Day. The time to lead is now.

“We can’t reach everyone on the list,” I say when Tomas and Stacia join us on the stairs. Tomas’s eyes looked tired and strained. When I touch his hand, he flinches. Stacia, however, appears not only rested but eager to take the next step.

Quickly, I give them a summary of Raffe’s knowledge of those on the list. “See if you can learn anything more about them. That will help us decide which people are to be given priority. Even if Enzo and Ian join us, there’s no way the six of us can hit all the targets. Out of the four of us here, Raffe is the only one who knows Tosu City well enough to get to specific addresses quickly. That’s going to slow us down. And once they break the ban on students leaving campus, Professor Holt and the other residence leaders will start looking for us.”

“Unless,” Stacia says, “we find them first.”

Raffe shakes his head. “We can’t remove them before we take out Dr. Barnes. Right, Cia?”

Stacia looks ready to argue but stops when I say, “Raffe is right. The minute people on the list begin to die, Dr. Barnes will know someone is coming for him and will find a way to prevent it. Removing the other targets on the list won’t mean anything unless Dr. Barnes himself is taken out.”

“The president wants all the targets eliminated,” Stacia reminds me. “Not just the ones you pick.”

“The president will understand that we have to prioritize according to what will help her best achieve her goal,” I reply. As long as The Testing and the University are removed from Dr. Barnes’s control, I don’t think she’ll have reason to complain. “Once Dr. Barnes and the top administrators of The Testing are eliminated, she’ll be able to handle the others herself.”

“What about Symon?” Raffe asks before Stacia can object again. “It’s not going to be easy to get to him. Not in the middle of an armed rebel camp.”

“I think I know a way.” But I do not share it. I will trust Stacia and Raffe to help me end The Testing, I won’t trust them with my brother’s life.

Stacia crosses her arms and leans back. “Okay. So when do we start this plan?”

“As soon as I’ve decided about Ian and Enzo. Once we know the full team, we’ll be ready.”

We fall silent as a group of students approaches. Once they walk up the steps and enter the library, Stacia quietly asks, “Have you figured out how you’re going to test Enzo? Because if you know, this might be the time to do it. He’s coming this way.”

[page]Sure enough, Enzo and Will are walking toward us.

Will spots us first. He waves and yells, “Should we be offended that you scheduled a study group meeting and forgot to tell us?”

Raffe laughs as he climbs to his feet. “It just figures. I finally get Cia to go for a walk with me alone and everyone turns up. A guy can’t catch a break.”

“Probably because Cia is smart enough to know not to be alone with a guy like you,” Will says with a grin as he reaches the library steps. “Colony guys are far more trustworthy. Don’t you think, Tomas?”

“Of course.” Tomas stands and gives Will a tight smile. “Although some of us are more trustworthy than others.”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but some of us actually need to get some studying done. We can’t all be like Cia and have our homework already completed,” says Will. Stacia rolls her eyes at me and turns toward Enzo. “Do you guys have time to compare answers on the physics homework? I think I might have gotten number ten wrong.”