Golden Girl(78)

“Do you resent my mother for ruining your big chance?” Willa says.

“Aw, gosh, I didn’t back then. I figured she didn’t get pregnant by herself,” Brett says. “And now? Listen, I’ve always believed things work out the way they’re supposed to. If I was meant to be a big rock star, someone else would have discovered me along the way. Tennessee is filled with music people, even Knoxville.” He shakes his head. “Please don’t feel sorry for me, if that’s what you’re doing. I have a good life, Willa, and very few regrets.” He puts his guitar away like he’s tucking a child into bed. “I do wish I’d gotten to see your mom again.” He smiles at Willa. “But meeting you has been a sweet surprise.”



They drive back to town in silence. If Willa were her normal self, she would be bright and clever, asking about life in Knoxville or some other safe topic. But she’s completely preoccupied with the news that Vivi got pregnant as a teenager and then miscarried.

Brett seems to notice something is wrong. He says, “Are you okay? Did I throw your world into a tailspin by showing up?”

“That’s not it,” Willa says. “It’s just that…I’ve miscarried three times.”

“Oh, hey, Willa, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m pregnant now.” Willa presses her lips together. Did she just say that out loud? Did she tell Brett Caspian, a man she’s known for four hours, that she’s pregnant before telling her own family?

“Congratulations,” Brett says cautiously. “How far along?”

“Eleven weeks,” Willa says. “So I’m still not out of the woods. I’ve been as far along as fifteen weeks and then…”

“Oh, Willa.”

“When I miscarried the first time, I asked my mother if she’d ever been through it,” Willa says. “And she told me no.”

“Ah,” Brett says.

“I was looking for commiseration, of course,” Willa says. “But I was also looking for a reason. Was there a family history of spontaneous miscarriages? My mother lied. She told me no. When the answer was yes.” They’ve arrived at the ferry. Willa parks in the lot; there’s still a little time before Brett has to go.

“Well,” Brett says. He sighs and Willa feels bad for plopping him right in the middle of their family drama just as he’s about to leave. “One of the things that crossed my mind when I read your mom’s book…”

Willa winces.

“You didn’t read the book, did you?” Brett says.

“I’m only on page thirty-eight,” Willa admits.

Brett inhales. “Well, in the book, the situation is the same as it was with your mom and me.” He laughs. “It’s definitely me, I’m Stott Macklemore to a T. But anyway, in the book, the girl, Alison, calls Stott out in California to say she’s pregnant—and she’s lying. She’s…faking it because she’s afraid she’s going to lose Stott to the rock-and-roll life. So he flies home from California, and a week or two later, she tells him she’s miscarried.”

Willa gasps. “So you think my mom was…faking it? She wasn’t pregnant at all? She didn’t miscarry? She lied to you?”

Brett moves his palms like he’s weighing something on a scale. “I’m not sure what to think. Looking back, I think she could have lied about being pregnant. She was still emotionally raw from losing her dad, and then suddenly I was off starting a new life without her, and she was lonely and sad and…desperate, just like Alison in the book.” Brett looks out the window and shakes his head. “And just like Alison, as soon as I flew home, she lost interest—and off to college she went, without ever looking back.”

Willa is gutted by this. “I don’t think my mom would do that. She was a good person. And also a really strong person, self-aware, self-confident.”

“I’m sure she was as a grown-up,” Brett says. “But when she was seventeen, she was battling some pretty serious demons. The way she described Alison in the book sounded exactly like the Vivi I knew.”

“She probably had Alison lie about the pregnancy because that made for a better story,” Willa says. “She liked a lot of drama in her fiction.”

Brett sighs. “The only person who knows the truth is your mom, and sadly, she’s not here to tell us.” He opens the car door and leans over to kiss Willa on the cheek. “Your mom was a human being, Willa, just like the rest of us.” With that, Brett gets out of the car, shuts the door, and waves through the open window. “Thank you for today. Let’s stay in touch.”

“Okay,” Willa says. She wants to assure him that her mother didn’t lie to him and didn’t sabotage his big chance because she was lonely and insecure back in Ohio—but then Willa realizes that what Brett said is true: The only person who knows the truth is Vivi. What if Vivi did lie about the pregnancy? That could be a reason why she never breathed a word to anyone about Brett Caspian or their romance or the song. She might have been too ashamed. And this would also explain why Vivi told Willa she had never miscarried—because she hadn’t.

Mom! Willa thinks. What did you do?

Willa feels like she needs to apologize to Brett, make amends in some way.