Golden Girl(49)

Leo has blocked Cruz on his phone and on Instagram and Snapchat. He expects Cruz to show up at the house like Marissa did, but so far he hasn’t.

Leo has also blocked Peter Bridgeman from his phone. He wants to pretend that the night before his mother’s death—the bonfire at Fortieth Pole, his breakup with Marissa, and the photograph that Peter sent him—never happened.

Marissa tells Leo that Alexis has a new boyfriend. He’s an officer in the department, and things are moving so fast that Alexis has created a Pinterest board for her wedding.

“And I decided to make one too,” Marissa says. “You know, for the future.”

“Make what?” Leo says, because he’s only half listening.

“A Pinterest board for our wedding,” Marissa says. “Here, look.” They’re lying on the Girv. Leo is spooning Marissa and Marissa is spooning her laptop. “I chose bridesmaid dresses and flowers, though I’m thinking of switching the palette from pink to peach.”

“Good idea,” Leo says with false enthusiasm. He knows he won’t be marrying Marissa, but he needs her right now, is the thing. He needs her badly.



Without Vivi, Leo is not only lost but confused. Who’s in charge of his day-to-day life now? Everyone, it seems, and no one.

Leo’s father, JP, suggests that Leo spend the summer at his house and maybe trade his job at the Boat Basin for one scooping ice cream at the Cone.

No and no, Leo says. Then, because he’s angry and has no place to vent, he says, “I hate Amy.” He’s instantly ashamed. He doesn’t like Amy, but hate is a strong word and he would never say it to her face.

JP clears his throat. “What if Amy weren’t around?”

“Where is she going?”

His father doesn’t answer, and Leo doesn’t care. He won’t live with his father because he can’t bear to leave his mother’s house. A part of her is still here. There’s Tupperware in the refrigerator that still holds her grilled zucchini dip; half a bottle of her Drybar shampoo is on the shelf in the outdoor shower. It’s like she’s away on a book tour and might be back at any moment.

Carson has been sleeping in Vivi’s room. She just moved in like it was her right, and when she’s not at work, she wears Vivi’s clothes. This is either a healthy way to grieve or a sign of mental illness.

Both Leo and Willa understand that Carson is a renegade. She acts out, demands attention, gets in nonstop trouble, makes questionable decisions, drinks, vapes, smokes weed, and was an expert at pushing every single one of their mother’s buttons. However…Carson is also cool, funny, and very, very pretty; people comment on it all the time. Leo’s friends always tell him how hot Carson is. Cruz had a wicked crush on her for years.

Leo can’t think about Cruz.

Carson isn’t in charge of anything following Vivi’s death except going back to work and keeping herself alive. Once the zucchini dip is gone and people have stopped dropping off lasagna and clam chowder, Leo wonders what they’re supposed to eat. What will they do for money? Who’s going to pay the mortgage?

That’s where Savannah comes in. She’s handling all the business stuff, figuring out Vivi’s finances, and dealing with the publication of the new book. She’s the administrator of the Vivian Howe Memorial Facebook page.

“Do you want to read the comments people have been posting?” she asks one morning when Carson and Leo happen to be in the kitchen foraging at the same time.

“No,” Leo says.

“No,” Carson says. “That sounds like Willa’s kind of thing.”

“Have either of you heard of a boyfriend your mom had in high school named Brett Caspian?”

“Negative,” Leo says.

“Mom didn’t have boyfriends in high school,” Carson says. “She was a total nerd.”

“That’s the story she always told me too,” Savannah says. “But this guy is insisting he dated her for most of their senior year and into the summer before she left for Duke. He says he has pictures.”

“Ask him to send the pictures,” Carson says. “Because I’ve never heard of any guy named Brett Kardashian.”

“Caspian,” Savannah says. “He wants to talk to someone about the new book.”

“Crackpot,” Carson says. “Dead-celebrity chaser. But ask for the pics.”

“I think I will,” Savannah says. “Your dad has never heard of him either. He said he was your mother’s first boyfriend, wink-wink, nudge-nudge.”

“Can we not talk about this anymore?” Leo says.



Savannah leaves envelopes filled with cash for them to divvy up.

Marissa takes some of the money and does a grocery-shop for the house. Leo is relieved. If he goes to the Stop and Shop, he might see Cruz working. He wants to ask Marissa if she saw Cruz when she went, but he doesn’t.

He can’t even say Cruz’s name out loud.

Leo eats a lot of toast with peanut butter. He gets takeout, but he has to avoid the Nickel, even though all he’s craving is a corned beef Reuben on marble rye with Joe’s homemade Thousand Island dressing. Leo knows that he’s avoiding the DeSantises but he’s surprised, even hurt, that neither Cruz nor Joe has swung by the house to check on him and that Joe hasn’t dropped off a platter of sandwiches even though he does this every time someone on this island so much as breaks a toe. Aren’t they worried about him? Don’t they care?