Glory over Everything: Beyond The Kitchen House(57)

“Do you?” she asked as she pulled and puffed out the enormous sleeves on her costume. “What do you think? Are the sleeves too extreme? They are called gigot and are the latest in fashion, but in winter, with my cape, it is difficult for them to hold their shape.”

“The red flowers in the fabric look pretty with your cape,” I said, though soon her primping made me irritable. “So tell me, Mother. What have you been doing? What is the latest news?”

“Well!” she said, satisfied with her frock and settling her hands in her lap. “I’m quite excited, my dear. Your father and I have been asked to host the museum’s annual event in our home!”

“Oh,” I said, trying to sound interested, “tell me about it.”

“Do you recall the annual ball given to celebrate the artists who are to receive funding for their projects? I’m sure you’ve already heard the news about James Burton.” She avoided my eyes as she turned again to her sleeves.

I clutched the covers. “What about him?”

“I believe he was one of those selected by the museum to receive a grant for an art project. Something about a book and funding for an excursion.”

I worked to stay composed. “I know about the book, but an excursion? What do you mean?”

Her eyes were on me as she explained, “Apparently, he submitted a proposal for a book of bird illustrations, and the museum decided it was worthy of funding. I’m not certain of the details, but I believe he means to travel south, where he will study and paint birds.”

I sat forward. “And he is expected at the event?”

“Well, yes. All those selected are expected to attend.” Her voice had grown cautious.

“When is it to be held?”

She hesitated.

“When, Mother?”

“A few weeks from now.”

“When, Mother!”

“In the second week of March,” she said reluctantly.

Finally! A solution! I could meet James there! Warmed with excitement, I threw the covers back. “I am going to attend,” I said.

“Oh, darling! You cannot possibly hope to do so. You are too far along to appear in public.”

“I shall corset myself!”

“Caroline! There are rumors! In fact, because of them, I was well pleased to hear that Mr. Burton was leaving.”

“Rumors! What do I care of rumors, Mother?”

“Dearest. You must take care. Everything that your father has ever done has been to ensure your future and the future of your children. You must protect that! If your husband ever questioned . . . If he ever alerted your father or pointed a finger, the consequences could be extreme.”

“My husband! You say my husband could point a finger? How would he dare to point a finger at me! He, the one who prefers men . . .”

Mother’s face went white, and when I saw her shock, I forced whatever else I might have said back down my throat. She looked away while struggling to regain her composure, but in my need, I pressed her further. “Please, Mother,” I begged, “I will go whether or not I have your help, but please say you will give it.”

It was a while before she turned back to me, her eyes moist. “Pardon me, dear, what did . . . What did you say?”

I was intent on one purpose. “I said I want to go to the event, and I will need your help to do so.”

“Oh, Caroline! My dear girl,” she said, drawing in a deep breath. “If you insist on going, I will give you my help, but you must then promise me one thing.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“After the event, you will come away with me to Stonehill, and we will stay there until the child is born. That should put a stop to any further rumors. Will you give me your word?”

“Stonehill? It is so far away from here!”

“That is my point,” she said.

“But I must see Mr. Burton before he leaves on his trip. Will you give me your word that you will invite him to Stonehill?”

I had never seen her look so weary. “I will,” she said.

“And what about Father? Won’t he say it is too early to open Stonehill? Won’t he object to the cost?”

“I will insist,” she said. “But I will leave the house staff here in town so his routine won’t be interrupted, and I’ll hire outside help to take with us.”

Thus we agreed that after the event, we would go to up Stonehill, where I would give birth to my child in our country house.





CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE


1830


James


CONFRONTED WITH THE news of Caroline’s pregnancy, I was so struck by fear and indecision that I put her off, not wanting to add to the nightmarish position I had put her in. How could I tell her that she might give birth to a child of color? On the night of our last meeting, I wanted to confess, but Caroline was already so overwrought that I worried what action she might take if I forced this news on her. At the worst, I feared that she would go to her mother, who, naturally, would involve Mr. Cardon. And that would be disastrous.

I needed a month or two to put my affairs in order. If the truth about my ancestry became known now, the sale of my silver business would fall through, I would never see Caroline again, and my future as an artist would end. Everything hung in the balance.