Glory over Everything: Beyond The Kitchen House(119)

He stood. “Mr. Burton, I did not give you my resignation. I am still at your service as long as you require my help.”

Though it clearly made him uncomfortable, I grasped his hand in both of mine. “Thank you, Robert! For . . . for everything you have done for me,” I said, and this time it was my voice that quavered.


MY DECISION TO leave as quickly as possible was motivated not only by my need to escape Mrs. Madden’s company but also my desire to return home. I had Robert locate and hire two drivers for our carriage that same day. When I went for supper with the women, Robert made the necessary preparations for our small party to leave in the morning.

As we enjoyed our evening meal, I told the two women of my donation to the school and of how they could count on my continued support. Naturally, they expressed deep gratitude, but then I took a deep breath. “I will not go into unnecessary detail, but I am pleased to say that there has been a change in circumstance and I am now free to return to my home in Philadelphia.”

Miss Elly gasped aloud when I announced my decision to take my daughter with me. Unable to contain her tears, she left the room at a run.

“She will see the wisdom in time. After all, you are Caroline’s father,” Miss Meg said. Though her eyes had filled, too, she retained her composure.

“I am so grateful for everything you have done,” I said, “but might I ask one more favor of you?”

“Certainly,” she said.

“I have a package that I need delivered to Belle, and I do not trust it to the post,” I said. “When you travel down for the wedding, would you give it to her?”

She graciously agreed, and I went quickly to my room and returned with the parcel.

“This has great monetary as well as sentimental value,” I said.

“Then it will not leave my side until it is in Belle’s hands,” she promised. I didn’t explain that the package contained a boy’s jacket with jewelry sewn into the seams. Neither did I tell Miss Meg that the contents included a letter I had written that afternoon.

Dear Belle,

I have only recently discovered the circumstances of my conception. To know that you cared for me in spite of the cruelty you suffered argues that the goodness in humanity can survive through the most difficult challenges.

Only recently have I come to acknowledge that I have been living a life of fear. I was driven by hatred for those of the colored race, instilled in me from a grandmother I loved and a society that supports her beliefs.

I once considered the Negro unfeeling and mindless, closer to an animal than a human being. I have since come to know the true Negro; I have seen the bravery and superior intelligence that it takes for one of color to survive under the cruelest of conditions. Though I still puzzle at my place in all of this, I hope that I have inherited the kindness and strength of your good spirit.

I do not know for certain what my future holds, but I believe that I will continue to live as a white man. Certainly it is the easiest path, though I now have two Negro children in my charge. I plan to raise and care for them as I would my own. How that will play out remains to be seen.

There is a third child, my biological daughter and your granddaughter. She is blond and blue-eyed, and though she has been known as Caroline, from today forward, she will be called Belle.

We both know why I will not travel to see you, but if you would consider a visit, or if you wish to come for a permanent stay, you have but to tell me and I will arrange the accommodations.

Lastly, I am enclosing the jacket with the jewels that you gave me on my departure. Two of the items are missing, but the use of each was invaluable to me. Thank you for this generous gift. Be assured that I no longer have need of it.

I do not look at the jacket without remembering the moment you handed it to me. You stood back and waited for some expression of my caring. I apologize for my inability to thank you as you should have been thanked. You gave me life, Mother, and there is no greater gift. I thank you now.

Your son,

James

I AWOKE JUST as the sun was rising and went to the window to look out on what promised to be a clear day. Below my window, a young boy was seated on the front mounting stone; from his jutting ears, I recognized Pan. Beside him was a small brown bundle that must have included his few possessions, and next to him was a birdcage that was almost the size of the boy. With a jolt of joy, I realized that Robert had somehow kept Malcolm with us.

Because we had an early-morning meal, I was able to escape another encounter with Mrs. Madden, although both Miss Meg and Miss Elly were present. I tried to ease Caroline’s departure by telling them that I would expect, at a minimum, a yearly visit from them.

When we waved goodbye, our vehicle was again filled to capacity, and the din inside was deafening, with both babies crying and Malcolm screeching his discontent. Pan raised his hands to his ears. I had him cover Malcolm’s cage, and thankfully, the upset bird, after some final squawks, was silenced. I lifted Kitty from the basket and asked that she be fed; the nurse, holding Caroline, said she must be attended to first. I immediately decided that as soon we reached Philadelphia, Kitty would have her own wet nurse.

We traveled on, and after Caroline was fed, I reached for her. Again she took one look at me and began to howl.

“Here, sir, give her to me,” Robert said, holding his arms out. “Now, now, sweet child, your Robert is here,” he soothed. On recognizing his adoring face, she settled and soon smiled, as did I to see Robert so smitten.